today my dad turns 102. he was born in 1916, and here's a google link to what i found out about that. i have the upmost respect and love for this man. and when i wonder about "god" i can say that what i see in him is a light that i will equate with a god.
a list is not adequate, but it's all i have.
1. he had me when he was as old as i am now. he'd already had nine children. i will allow myself to imagine that only for a short time because it sometimes brings me to tears. i am an "older parent" and our youngest is nine. (that almost brings me to tears.) parenting is hard and having an infant right now, for me, would be really hard. i admire the heck out of him for parenting me like he did.
2. there are so many great stories when you have been on this earth 102 years. here's one: my husband and i had recently moved close to my parents and we went over to their house. hubby who is an expensive bike enthusiast had a really expensive bike. because we were living in an apartment without a garage, hubby asked dad to keep his bike in dad's garage. dad hung it up and hubby, looking at the hook dad had hung it on, asked dad, "jesse, is that hook gonna hold my bike?" and dad said, "well, if it doesn't, your bike will fall." classic dad. pragmatic. funny.
3. dad walked almost every single day of his retired life. for exercise. and he made a habit of collecting cans (which he traded in for "beer money") and picking up trash while walking. i could honestly go on and on about this. but i think the most incredible part about this to me now is that he stopped and picked up trash. all of it. because he did not like litter. i used to be mildly embarrassed by this as a teen. but now, i cannot stand litter. i try to pick it up in my neighborhood every morning. i hope if dad knew this, he would be proud of me.
4. dad had an amazing green thumb. he could grow anything. my mom, when she was alive, used to try to get my dad to like use mulch or water more and dad would just say, "why? it's growing isn't it?" i use mulch and water and everything i plant dies. i did not inherit his green thumb.
5. my early memories of my dad are of him coloring with me. and sitting by his feet while he read the newspaper every night. another memory is that he weekly (?) would bring a vending machine snack home for me and my sister. this was a rare treat for us. my mom had these silver measuring cups and my sister would carefully divide the candy evenly into two cups.
6. words i would use to describe my dad are: humble, gentle, patient, kind, simple, wise, loving, content, and generous.
7. my dad crossed the border when he was nine. there are so many more details about this that i have learned and forgotten. i hope to see my last living aunt on my dad's side this summer and refresh the details of this because i would like to be able to repeat this story accurately. some details about dad i do know are that my dad knew no english when he crossed the border, he worked in the fields picking fruit, he served in WWII, he was injured in the Battle of the Bulge, he earned a purple heart, and he earned his high school diploma when I was about 12.
there was a period of time a few years ago when i helped to provide care-taking for my dad. he still had most of his memory and there were days i would go to his house frazzled and stressed out for one reason or another. being with him always calmed me down. he has a way of just making you feel peaceful and purposeful. for me, seeing dad daily like that was a great time in my life.
when i think about the amazing legacy my dad has, it's pretty cool. this morning on my run i thought of all my siblings and their kids. and their kids. i thought about all the states we live in, the professions we have, the lives we've touched. without dad, none of that would have been possible. i thought about all the amazing things i've learned from my dad - way too many for one blog post or even one book. it's pretty sappy, but it made me feel pretty good at a time when i've been feeling pretty crappy. even when he doesn't know it and he's not physically with me, he still has the ability to cheer me up.
my dad is in an amazing memory care home now where they take incredible care of him. his memory fades in and out. on good days he knows me. on not so good days i'd like to think he knows i love him.
today we will celebrate him and the great life he's had and i hope that he knows how special he is.
Showing posts with label birthdays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birthdays. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 20, 2018
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
I won a birthday, y'all!
I am editing this post because after you win something (including when I won a fully decorated one foot tall Christmas tree in Mexico in the sixth grade ((true story))) friends and relatives come out of the woodwork to claim they had something to do with your winning and why didn't you thank them and give them some of your birthday. Edited on 1-21-15 (pre-coffee).
So, it's my birthday. And, I don't have many friends because I'm socially awkward and an introvert, but when you are on Facebook and it's your birthday it's pretty easy to feel like the head of the cheerleading squad in high school. And by that I mean "a big deal." With all this popularity (and on the heels of the Grammys which I was awake to watch this year for the first time in........ever) comes the need to write an acceptance speech.
If that seems weird to you, I don't care. It's my birthday and I'll write an acceptance speech if I want to.
So, without further ado, my acceptance speech:
I would like to thank my parents for potty training me. Well, probably just my mom because I remember one time in first grade I wet my pants on the way home because it was about ten degrees below zero and I think your pee freezes right on to your skin when it's that cold and she yelled out the backdoor, "YOU BETTER NOT BE WETTING YOUR PANTS AGAIN, GIRL OR I WILL SPANK YOUR BUTT!" So, yes. I thank my mom for potty training me and sticking with it because apparently I did not like to "go at school" (I vaguely remember there being a curse word written in black Sharpie on the bathroom stall and that scared me). Potty training was definitely one step along the way to many a successful birthday party!
I would like to also thank my dad for having the decency to make me accept my first job at Baskin Robbins. It was there that I learned the importance of eating all the profits and the delightful sinfulness of eating all the profits............on your birthday.
I would like to thank my kids. Without them I would be able to vacation for less than $10,000. Which would totally degrade the value of a vacation for me. And if I did not value a vacation then the commercial where they say, "One plane ticket - $650, one ticket to Disney - $400, one princess with a pirate - $8,000, two hotel rooms (one for you and one for your kids) - $2,000. The shock on your husband's face when he gets the bill - priceless," would mean absolutely nothing to me. I'm not sure what that has to do with birthdays, but after four kids I rarely make sense.
I would like to thank my entire staff (see above) who encouraged me to work in order to win this birthday "someday."
I would like to thank my older sister, Billy Jean, who I know is reading tonight from home because she couldn't fly down here to see me accept my birthday in person (see above for the cost of a plane ticket). Billy Jean - I love you. You taught me about negotiation, bribery, and maybe smuggling also? Was that you? Anyway! I couldn't have done all these flippin' birthdays without you!
I would be remiss (and apparently I was) if I did not mention the rest of my wonderful siblings. Without them I would be one of those weird people with only one sibling who share and cooperate barely better than only children.
I would like to thank my friends - real and virtual - for encouraging me to keep having birthdays and for feeding me cake and beer over the years. Particularly one friend who dressed me for the after-parties and who sent me this card which I think explains my life:
I'd like to thank my ancestors, the Mayans, for inventing the calendar and birthdays.
And how could I forget my wonderful husband, Mr. DayInTheLife! If you hadn't discovered me and gone on to be my manager, we wouldn't have made all those movies.............wait............I'm sorry I got confused. This is my birthday acceptance speech. Sorry! Thanks Mr. DayInTheLife for all of my presents you are going to buy me.
And, lastly I'd like to thank God for sending me down here in my birthday suit. Although, I question why you didn't send me in flannel P.J.'s with matching bunny head slippers since I am much more comfortable in that.
If I forgot anyone else know that this is just like a chain email that says you will die in seven days if you don't get it. I'm sure I forgot people. I have a really bad memory. Forward it to people that you think I left out inadvertently! Then they will feel good and they won't die!
And, that's all. Again, this is such an honor and I will cherish this birthday forever!
(Cue the birthday music.) (Me turning to exit the stage - the wrong way. Ladies who we don't know, but who all look like Vanna White gently guiding me by the elbow to the other direction. Why do they not just change the way people exit the stage? In fact, I am changing that $hit right now. Exit the way it feels natural after you accept your birthday.)
Happy Birthday, me!
So, it's my birthday. And, I don't have many friends because I'm socially awkward and an introvert, but when you are on Facebook and it's your birthday it's pretty easy to feel like the head of the cheerleading squad in high school. And by that I mean "a big deal." With all this popularity (and on the heels of the Grammys which I was awake to watch this year for the first time in........ever) comes the need to write an acceptance speech.
If that seems weird to you, I don't care. It's my birthday and I'll write an acceptance speech if I want to.
So, without further ado, my acceptance speech:
I would like to thank my parents for potty training me. Well, probably just my mom because I remember one time in first grade I wet my pants on the way home because it was about ten degrees below zero and I think your pee freezes right on to your skin when it's that cold and she yelled out the backdoor, "YOU BETTER NOT BE WETTING YOUR PANTS AGAIN, GIRL OR I WILL SPANK YOUR BUTT!" So, yes. I thank my mom for potty training me and sticking with it because apparently I did not like to "go at school" (I vaguely remember there being a curse word written in black Sharpie on the bathroom stall and that scared me). Potty training was definitely one step along the way to many a successful birthday party!
I would like to also thank my dad for having the decency to make me accept my first job at Baskin Robbins. It was there that I learned the importance of eating all the profits and the delightful sinfulness of eating all the profits............on your birthday.
I would like to thank my kids. Without them I would be able to vacation for less than $10,000. Which would totally degrade the value of a vacation for me. And if I did not value a vacation then the commercial where they say, "One plane ticket - $650, one ticket to Disney - $400, one princess with a pirate - $8,000, two hotel rooms (one for you and one for your kids) - $2,000. The shock on your husband's face when he gets the bill - priceless," would mean absolutely nothing to me. I'm not sure what that has to do with birthdays, but after four kids I rarely make sense.
I would like to thank my entire staff (see above) who encouraged me to work in order to win this birthday "someday."
I would like to thank my older sister, Billy Jean, who I know is reading tonight from home because she couldn't fly down here to see me accept my birthday in person (see above for the cost of a plane ticket). Billy Jean - I love you. You taught me about negotiation, bribery, and maybe smuggling also? Was that you? Anyway! I couldn't have done all these flippin' birthdays without you!
I would be remiss (and apparently I was) if I did not mention the rest of my wonderful siblings. Without them I would be one of those weird people with only one sibling who share and cooperate barely better than only children.
I would like to thank my friends - real and virtual - for encouraging me to keep having birthdays and for feeding me cake and beer over the years. Particularly one friend who dressed me for the after-parties and who sent me this card which I think explains my life:
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| Naturally it is Swiss cheese holding mine together so I am screwed |
And how could I forget my wonderful husband, Mr. DayInTheLife! If you hadn't discovered me and gone on to be my manager, we wouldn't have made all those movies.............wait............I'm sorry I got confused. This is my birthday acceptance speech. Sorry! Thanks Mr. DayInTheLife for all of my presents you are going to buy me.
And, lastly I'd like to thank God for sending me down here in my birthday suit. Although, I question why you didn't send me in flannel P.J.'s with matching bunny head slippers since I am much more comfortable in that.
If I forgot anyone else know that this is just like a chain email that says you will die in seven days if you don't get it. I'm sure I forgot people. I have a really bad memory. Forward it to people that you think I left out inadvertently! Then they will feel good and they won't die!
And, that's all. Again, this is such an honor and I will cherish this birthday forever!
(Cue the birthday music.) (Me turning to exit the stage - the wrong way. Ladies who we don't know, but who all look like Vanna White gently guiding me by the elbow to the other direction. Why do they not just change the way people exit the stage? In fact, I am changing that $hit right now. Exit the way it feels natural after you accept your birthday.)
Happy Birthday, me!
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Thanksgiving Edition (in which I flip the bird)
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| (photo credit: mattalltrades.blogspot.com.) |
So, I decided since you guys clepped out of that drivel you might need some real tips to help take your Thanksgiving to the proverbial 'next level' (let's hope it's not the burning ring of hell level).
You're welcome.
Here we go.
1. Read this. It has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, but I'm thinking of making it my About Me page.
2. Thanksgiving is stressful, but it pales in comparison to the next 30 days. So, instead of those name plates from paper you wove yourself, give everyone a shiny party blower and some fireworks. It's kinda like the last day of summer (except you might not want to wear a bathing suit).
3. And don't wear a costume either. It confuses your guests.
4. I'm an introvert (see #1). But, damn it if like four of the five people in my inner circle have birthdays near Thanksgiving. Sucks for them because they get Turkey Surprise! for their birthday dinner and their presents all come wrapped for Christmas. Try to avoid making friends with these people.
5. Don't eat turkey before Thanksgiving. I recommend leaving approximately 364 days in between the times you eat turkey.
6. Become a vegetarian and go gluten free right before Thanksgiving. This will annoy the crap out of everyone you know thereby greatly relieving your stress. You will have no family and friends left to dine with on the big day.
7. When you cook the bird, flip it. I did this completely by accident about 20 years ago. It was my first turkey (I think I can tell you that, right?) and I had no idea what kind of protection to use, where to put my hands, what went in where, or which way was up. Everyone raved at how smart I was because the breast? thigh? wing? testicles? came out so juicy and moist because they were left to simmer in their own juices. (I have no idea what I'm talking about, but it sounds like we're ready for #8.)
8. Any mistake can be covered up with a "delicious gravy." (This tip I actually stole from NPR.)
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| This is what "delicious gravy" looks like. I think you can find it on aisle 10. |
9. Hubby knows a little rhyming joke about pumpkin pie (circa The Bible - or when he was in middle school). As much as I cringe when I hear the joke I cannot get it out of my mind and it goes without saying that I cannot eat pumpkin pie. Unless there is a lot of whip cream. Or just whip cream. Straight from the can into my mouth. And a shot for my coffee.
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| (photo credit: gumblestump.com) That's about right. |
11. If you need a new foundation (or I would venture to say any home repair costing more than a grand), consider frying your turkey.
12. If you have kids, you may need to brush up on Sqanto and the Wampanogs, so you can appropriately discuss this at the dinner table (you might want to follow that with The Trail of Tears just so that everyone is sufficiently depressed and so that there is an edge of reality to your history). (Hint: Wampanog is not a verb as in: I'm gonna wampanog your a$$ if you don't make your bed.)
14. Just in case there is not enough tryptophan in your turkey this year, I recommend crushing up sleeping pills in the stuffing. This will ensure you can watch Not Football on TV.
15. This came from NPR, too: When all else fails there is always The Google. I've used this search before 'Restaurants open on Thanksgiving this year.'
Have a good one and I'll save you a piece of pie (or the whole pie).
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Will this still be okay when it's not my birthday?
Yesterday I celebrated not dying for one more year. And as an optimistic friend reminded me I'm "one more day closer to death." Thank you, optimistic friend.
To celebrate this day my kids did everything I asked them the first time, completed their chores without complaining, and I didn't have to lift a finger all day.
And I won a hundred million dollars.
(That didn't happen either.)
What did happen is something that reminded me that on your birthday you are entitled to do the things that maybe all year long you try to limit. Examples: eat cake for all three meals, drink a martini at 8:00 a.m., shop till all your credit cards are declined, gab on the phone with all your friends who call while all your work emails go unanswered, etc.
I personally have been trying not to use commas excessively, and, also, more importantly to try to maintain a positive attitude, and not complain.
So, I think you can imagine how this card from Girl 3 made my entire day and might win a contest somewhere for................creativity?
To celebrate this day my kids did everything I asked them the first time, completed their chores without complaining, and I didn't have to lift a finger all day.
And I won a hundred million dollars.
(That didn't happen either.)
What did happen is something that reminded me that on your birthday you are entitled to do the things that maybe all year long you try to limit. Examples: eat cake for all three meals, drink a martini at 8:00 a.m., shop till all your credit cards are declined, gab on the phone with all your friends who call while all your work emails go unanswered, etc.
I personally have been trying not to use commas excessively, and, also, more importantly to try to maintain a positive attitude, and not complain.
So, I think you can imagine how this card from Girl 3 made my entire day and might win a contest somewhere for................creativity?
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| To Mom I hope you have a good bich! (Thank you! Done and dunner!) |
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Of course she does.
We have a four year old who can be a bit of a challenge. So, we have decided to be proactive in discussing the upcoming 2013-2014 school year. This was our conversation today:
Hubby to Girl 3: When school starts this year, remember you are going to behave appropriately, right?
Girl 3: Yup.
Hubby: Listening to the teacher, respecting the other children, obeying the teacher. Right?
Girl 3: Yup.
Me: When the teacher asks you to do something what should your response be?
Girl 3: YES, SIR!
Me: And, on the off chance that you have a female teacher?
Girl 3: I MEAN, YES MA'AM!
Hubby: And, how do we treat our friends?
Girl 3: We buy them lots of ice cream!
Hubby (snickering): Before we buy them ice cream.
Girl 3: WE BE NICE TO THEM!
Hubby: And, you remember consequences, right? For inappropriate behavior?
Girl 3: Hmm. What are consequences again?
Hubby: Like no night-time book, or losing movie, or losing family time?
Girl 3: Oh, yeah.
Hubby: Or losing your birthday!
Girl 3 (giggling wildly): I CAN'T LOSE MY BIRTHDAY, SILLY DADDY!
Me: Well, remember we talked about your birthday party and how you need to show us some appropriate behavior before we can decide whether or not you can have a birthday party?
Girl 3: Oh, yeah.
Me: Tell daddy where you might want your party.
Girl 3: RIGHT HERE AT THE HOUSE!
Hubby: And, what kind of party?
Girl 3: You mean what kind of theme?
Hubby: Yeah, I guess. What kind of theme?
Girl 3: Hmm. I THINK BEAVERS! YES!!! BEAVERS!!! I WANT A BIG BEAVER PARTY HERE AT THE HOUSE!!!
Hubby to Girl 3: When school starts this year, remember you are going to behave appropriately, right?
Girl 3: Yup.
Hubby: Listening to the teacher, respecting the other children, obeying the teacher. Right?
Girl 3: Yup.
Me: When the teacher asks you to do something what should your response be?
Girl 3: YES, SIR!
Me: And, on the off chance that you have a female teacher?
Girl 3: I MEAN, YES MA'AM!
Hubby: And, how do we treat our friends?
Girl 3: We buy them lots of ice cream!
Hubby (snickering): Before we buy them ice cream.
Girl 3: WE BE NICE TO THEM!
Hubby: And, you remember consequences, right? For inappropriate behavior?
Girl 3: Hmm. What are consequences again?
Hubby: Like no night-time book, or losing movie, or losing family time?
Girl 3: Oh, yeah.
Hubby: Or losing your birthday!
Girl 3 (giggling wildly): I CAN'T LOSE MY BIRTHDAY, SILLY DADDY!
Me: Well, remember we talked about your birthday party and how you need to show us some appropriate behavior before we can decide whether or not you can have a birthday party?
Girl 3: Oh, yeah.
Me: Tell daddy where you might want your party.
Girl 3: RIGHT HERE AT THE HOUSE!
Hubby: And, what kind of party?
Girl 3: You mean what kind of theme?
Hubby: Yeah, I guess. What kind of theme?
Girl 3: Hmm. I THINK BEAVERS! YES!!! BEAVERS!!! I WANT A BIG BEAVER PARTY HERE AT THE HOUSE!!!
Sunday, July 7, 2013
home of the free, land of the brave
I did not see a horse with "five legs" this Fourth of July.
Last Fourth of July in keeping with the forefathers quest for freedom from religion we saw a horse with five legs. It was at a quaint parade in a small town where apparently the horses (in addition to getting patriotic) get frisky every now and again.
Randy was the last horse to trot through the parade route and he stopped right in front of my family and decided that would be a good time to try and mount the female (?) horse in front of him.
Most of the cowboys we were sitting around snickered loudly while the children we were around either stared wide-eyed or screamed loudly, "MOMMY, WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHAT IS THAT HORSE TRYING TO DO TO THAT OTHER HORSE? WHY IS IT HURTING IT? AND WHY DOES IT HAVE FIVE LEGS? OH MY GOD! IS THAT A LEG?"
To say the least, it was awkward for all the adults witnessing and traumatic for all the children who witnessed this. Truth be told (because it's always a good idea to tell the truth, thank you George Washington), I was traumatized for quite a while afterward as well.
This year, there were no horses with five legs. For that, I am thankful.
Instead there was a bar complete with prostitutes (?) and an effigy hanging on the porch. Because what says, "Happy Birthday, America!" better than that? (Except, of course, a horse with five legs.)
Last Fourth of July in keeping with the forefathers quest for freedom from religion we saw a horse with five legs. It was at a quaint parade in a small town where apparently the horses (in addition to getting patriotic) get frisky every now and again.
Randy was the last horse to trot through the parade route and he stopped right in front of my family and decided that would be a good time to try and mount the female (?) horse in front of him.
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| Photo courtesy of: www.yellowstone.magic.com I was pretty pissed, too when Randy tried to ruin the patriotic time I was having. |
To say the least, it was awkward for all the adults witnessing and traumatic for all the children who witnessed this. Truth be told (because it's always a good idea to tell the truth, thank you George Washington), I was traumatized for quite a while afterward as well.
This year, there were no horses with five legs. For that, I am thankful.
Instead there was a bar complete with prostitutes (?) and an effigy hanging on the porch. Because what says, "Happy Birthday, America!" better than that? (Except, of course, a horse with five legs.)
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| I bet the guy on the porch was pissed, too. |
Monday, February 18, 2013
I pulled it off with little real skills and you can too!
So, in case any moms out there are asked by their daughters for a ladybug/sweet shoppe party and your baking/organizing/preparing skills are about a "2" on a scale from 1- 10 - you have come to the right place!
I did it, y'all. And I am still alive to tell about it. No one was burned (namely because I opted against having hot glue guns), no one vomited from consuming too much candy (although that one was a close call), hubby said I was getting to be "quite the party planner" (thanks, hubby - I'll take that as a compliment), I managed to take some photos for y'all, and most importantly - everyone seemed to have a good time.
You can see the invitations I picked up at Hobby Lobby here. Because it's kind of hard doing ladybug theme with a 10 year old. Most ladybug themes are geared toward toddlers.
The fluffy decorations were a huge hit. You can buy them in a huge variety of colors at Party City or online. Although, not at Hobby Lobby where the saleswoman looked at me like I was daffy when I asked her if they sold "fluffy decorations." She said, "Ma'am, that's great, but what are they really called." She then eyed me suspiciously when I said (a little louder), "FLUFFY DECORATIONS." I love balloons - so, of course, I also got red and black balloons.
The other "decorations" were the candy jars. The turned out really great and I liked them. I put some money into the containers, but happily I can use them again for our annual Halloween party. And, yes, that is a the large bucket of Papa Dean's popcorn in the background - flavor (Girl 1's and momma's favorite) - CHOCOLATE. Some of the popcorn also went home with each girl in the treat bags - to enjoy after the party.
We played a few games that the girls really seemed to like. We played the Guess How Many game that seems quite common at sweet shoppe parties I read about online. I just had the girls write down how many candies they thought were in one of the jars. I also hid a tiny candy that was different in four of the jars of candy and they had to find it. That one was not too successful because the girls screamed out each time they found the candy - so then all the girls knew. Doh. (Ten year old girls really like to scream.) We played Sweet Shoppe bingo from this great post. It downloaded and copied beautifully and the girls really liked this game. I used cinnamon dots for the markers. And we also played a game where I had them hold some cinnamon dots on a spoon in their mouth and "race" to fill up their team's jar. Again, I didn't think this one out well enough and it ended up being a laughing game with cinnamon dots ALL OVER the floor. Ah, well. If giggling is evidence of liking something - the girls liked it. And, the last game we played was a candy name scramble. I scrambled 10 candy names and they figured them out. That one was really fun and the girls liked it.
We were going to make the cute little purses that I posted a while back, but because both my girls got burned making them I decided just to make them and give them out. Instead, Girl 1 decided she wanted to make cake pops. It was a great choice. I made the cake pop chocolate balls that morning and the girls then decorated them. They weren't much to look at, but they were SUPER YUMMY. I actually think I might be on my way to making yummy and beautiful pops.
So, we gave purses and cookies for the "treat bags," and of course loads and loads of the leftover candy. Here are some other photos in case you ever need ideas for a similar party.
All in all it was super fun. Girl 1 had a blast and I hope her friends loved it, too. With so little skills and original ideas - I love to see what other people have done. So, if there is one person out there who is less creative than I am - here you go!
I did it, y'all. And I am still alive to tell about it. No one was burned (namely because I opted against having hot glue guns), no one vomited from consuming too much candy (although that one was a close call), hubby said I was getting to be "quite the party planner" (thanks, hubby - I'll take that as a compliment), I managed to take some photos for y'all, and most importantly - everyone seemed to have a good time.
You can see the invitations I picked up at Hobby Lobby here. Because it's kind of hard doing ladybug theme with a 10 year old. Most ladybug themes are geared toward toddlers.
The fluffy decorations were a huge hit. You can buy them in a huge variety of colors at Party City or online. Although, not at Hobby Lobby where the saleswoman looked at me like I was daffy when I asked her if they sold "fluffy decorations." She said, "Ma'am, that's great, but what are they really called." She then eyed me suspiciously when I said (a little louder), "FLUFFY DECORATIONS." I love balloons - so, of course, I also got red and black balloons.
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| I can't find anyplace in my house that provides a nice white background for photos, so here are some of my fluffies against a weird combination of colors. |
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| We got 20 balloons, but if I had the money I would have gotten 100. |
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| The Wonka lollies were for the prizes. Most of the containers and the candies I got at Party City. |
We played a few games that the girls really seemed to like. We played the Guess How Many game that seems quite common at sweet shoppe parties I read about online. I just had the girls write down how many candies they thought were in one of the jars. I also hid a tiny candy that was different in four of the jars of candy and they had to find it. That one was not too successful because the girls screamed out each time they found the candy - so then all the girls knew. Doh. (Ten year old girls really like to scream.) We played Sweet Shoppe bingo from this great post. It downloaded and copied beautifully and the girls really liked this game. I used cinnamon dots for the markers. And we also played a game where I had them hold some cinnamon dots on a spoon in their mouth and "race" to fill up their team's jar. Again, I didn't think this one out well enough and it ended up being a laughing game with cinnamon dots ALL OVER the floor. Ah, well. If giggling is evidence of liking something - the girls liked it. And, the last game we played was a candy name scramble. I scrambled 10 candy names and they figured them out. That one was really fun and the girls liked it.We were going to make the cute little purses that I posted a while back, but because both my girls got burned making them I decided just to make them and give them out. Instead, Girl 1 decided she wanted to make cake pops. It was a great choice. I made the cake pop chocolate balls that morning and the girls then decorated them. They weren't much to look at, but they were SUPER YUMMY. I actually think I might be on my way to making yummy and beautiful pops.
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| And there's the popcorn and one cake pop. |
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| I got these super cute candy bags at Party City, too. |
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| And another shot of the cookies because - yes - I am proud. |
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| These are the bags me and my girls made for everyone. You can see a better photo here. And you can find the link to make them on my Ladybug/Sweet Shoppe Pinterest board. |
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Crafting didn't kill me. But there's still a chance.
So, I'm getting ready for Girl 1's 10th birthday Ladybug/Sweet Shoppe extravaganza. And for me it's a challenge. I am both crafting and baking impaired, and I have four kids. The crafting and baking involved in birthday parties held at home can be especially problematic. And, Girl 1 chose a theme that basically is not a theme....anywhere....on the Internet or IRL. (Of course.)
I promised I'd post the No Sew Ruffled Tote that I made yesterday if it was not crap. Here it is.
Girl 1 is in love with the tote. And I must admit, I surprised myself. I only burned one of my kids. And, only once.
We will not be doing this as a craft during the party, though as I originally thought. I really want my kid to have friends after the party, so I thought it would be bad protocol to burn all the girls at the party with hot glue guns (that and the party is only three hours and it took eight hours for me to make this).
So, guess who has five more days to make nine more No Sew Ruffled Totes?!
I promised I'd post the No Sew Ruffled Tote that I made yesterday if it was not crap. Here it is.
Girl 1 is in love with the tote. And I must admit, I surprised myself. I only burned one of my kids. And, only once.
We will not be doing this as a craft during the party, though as I originally thought. I really want my kid to have friends after the party, so I thought it would be bad protocol to burn all the girls at the party with hot glue guns (that and the party is only three hours and it took eight hours for me to make this).
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| Not dead yet! |
Monday, February 4, 2013
Going for a world record.
I haven't blogged in a while because Girl 1 is turning 10 in a couple weeks. And remember - we do 10 big in this family? And, after the amazing success of Boy Child's 10th (and by "amazing success" I mean: I didn't burn anything, everything I made fairly resembled what it was supposed to, and all children made it safely back to their own parents), I am kinda feeling pressured. I started to plan late and my ideas are nonexistent. So, here's the skinny. Maybe you guys can help.
Girl 1 wants a ladybug theme. Again. For the fourth (or is it fifth?) time. She absolutely loves ladybugs. It's weird. And kind of creepy. But, she does. They're cute, but really? Four times? And for the 10th birthday? But, alas - it is her birthday not mine, so we're doing it. We are combining ladybug theme with sweet shoppe theme. How do you do that, you ask? I don't freakin' know.
Here's what I have so far that I love. What will actually make it to the party - it's anybody's guess.
I'm abnormally nervous about more than four children in my house with nothing specific to do, so of course I have researched a craft because Girl 1 also loves crafting. I found these. Which are incredibly cute and also incredibly labor intensive. So, these might not make it to the party. I am going to do a trial run this weekend. If I never blog again - it will be because I was eaten by the wicked witch of crafting everywhere.
And, lastly I found these things called, "Fluffy black decorations" at Party City and I kinda love them. A lot. I also love their name. It's like I named them. The person who named them was all, "I'm really tired from inventing these and so let's just name them 'fluffy decorations.'" I want to get black and red fluffy decorations and lots of black and red balloons.
And, games. I have thought of two games. Don't laugh. It took me a long time to think of two. First game: Guess how many red and black M&M's are in the jar. Second game: Scramble up a bunch of candy names and have the girls unscramble them. If you guys have some great games for 10 year old girls related to ladybugs or candy (because I know that's really common) - please send them my way!
Wish me luck this weekend friends. And if my creation is not complete crap maybe I'll post it. Cheers!
Girl 1 wants a ladybug theme. Again. For the fourth (or is it fifth?) time. She absolutely loves ladybugs. It's weird. And kind of creepy. But, she does. They're cute, but really? Four times? And for the 10th birthday? But, alas - it is her birthday not mine, so we're doing it. We are combining ladybug theme with sweet shoppe theme. How do you do that, you ask? I don't freakin' know.
Here's what I have so far that I love. What will actually make it to the party - it's anybody's guess.
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| These are the super cute invitations I bought today that are kind of lady-bugish? (That's all I really have so far besides grandiose ideas.) |
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| I know. It's a long shot. Mine will probably look like murder balls, but one can hope, right? |
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| From amandaparkerandfamily.blogspot.com. I've made these before and they are fairly easy, so I figure I'm good with this one. I'm going to do red with black sprinkles. |
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| From catchmyparty.com. This is my sweet shoppe idea. I want to put some red and black candies in clear jars? How hard can that be? Except, of course, black licorice. Because it tastes like crap? |
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| This is way above my level. What's my level? Gluing...paper...to paper. |
And, games. I have thought of two games. Don't laugh. It took me a long time to think of two. First game: Guess how many red and black M&M's are in the jar. Second game: Scramble up a bunch of candy names and have the girls unscramble them. If you guys have some great games for 10 year old girls related to ladybugs or candy (because I know that's really common) - please send them my way!
Wish me luck this weekend friends. And if my creation is not complete crap maybe I'll post it. Cheers!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
it's a short list
So, today I am a few years past my thirtieth and a few years closer to my fiftieth. Yes, that makes me a little dizzy. If you're anything like me, after a certain age you might not want to even celebrate your birthday anymore. It's just kind of another day that you'd rather just slip by so that you don't have to face the realization that you are one day closer to your imminent death (yes, I am the epitome of optimism).
But, hubby is really great at buying me gifts and celebrating. And the kids start asking way in advance if I'm gonna have a party with a pinata (um, no). Hubby asks me what I want a few weeks before my birthday and just buys what I tell him. Romantic? No. Practical? Yes.
This year was no different. I had kinda gone overboard buying myself Christmas gifts so I tried to really keep it simple. So, I got some low-key, but great stuff that I really wanted. I got another really warm scarf in a fabulous color because we have been having cold weather down here in south Texas and I hate cold weather. I got some funky earrings that I've been wanting. I got a Pay Day from the Boy Child because he could afford that and he knows Pay Days are one of my guilty pleasures. I got some wonderfully smelling stuff from Bath and Bodyworks. And hubby has a great sense of humor so he wrapped everything up in this fabulous bright pink tote (with an amazing number of pockets) that we got as a free gift for donating to a charity and gave all the gifts to me in that.
But, (everyone always has a big butt, right?) here's what I didn't get that I really wanted. I didn't put any of this on the list, but I'm telling you guys. So, if you can, help a sista' out?
The Unstated Real Birthday List
1. I want my boobs back where they used to be. And, while they (whoever's gonna do this for me) are at it, I'd also like them a titch larger than they are right now. Y'know just to help me get some attention when I need it?
2. I want my hair not to do this weird thing it's started doing called: Growing right out of the front of my head. WTH? Is that some sort of old thing?
3. This one is kinda for women only: I'd like to be On the Cycle Again or Completely Off the Cycle instead of just every 78 days, or every 14 days, or every 112 days, or anytime my body thinks it's time again. Yeesh. I am ready to say good-bye to fertilehood for good.
4. I'd like to be able to remember shiz without writing it down. It's kind of annoying to have a memory that is only three seconds long. And I am kinda tired of Girl 1 always accusing me of having early onset Alzheimer's.
5. I'd really love to be able to text without my bifocals. OLD PERSON ON BOARD. Yeah, that's me. Yeesh. Embarrassing and cumbersome. Oh, and I'd like to be able to text as fast as a tween.
6. I want the skin on my hands back. I have developed in the past five years this weird old people skin on my hands and I don't really like it.
7. These dark circles under my eyes and wrinkles on my forehead need to be cleared up. (I'm thinking when they are working on my boob concerns they can just skip up to my face and fix that.)
8. I'd like my acute hearing back from the 80's. Now, I've never really had great hearing. If you're a long term reader you know that one of my greatest fears is going completely deaf by my fifties. So, I'd really just like to be able to hear. Everything. Like a superpower. Or, just like a regular human.
9. I'd like to be able to drink the amount of beer I want without it going directly to my belly in record time. Remember the good 'ole days when you could stay out all night drinking and not feel any repercussions? Yeah, I want those days back.
10. And, just because I'm a stickler for even numbers. I'd like to eat all the chocolate I want just once. Doesn't everyone want that?
11. Oh, and one more. I'd really like to get the rest of my life figured out. Seriously? What am I going to be when I grow up? (I'm sure hubby would like me to figure that out, too.)
So, friends. Happy birthday to me! Don't worry - I won't put candles on my cake. Safety first!
But, hubby is really great at buying me gifts and celebrating. And the kids start asking way in advance if I'm gonna have a party with a pinata (um, no). Hubby asks me what I want a few weeks before my birthday and just buys what I tell him. Romantic? No. Practical? Yes.
This year was no different. I had kinda gone overboard buying myself Christmas gifts so I tried to really keep it simple. So, I got some low-key, but great stuff that I really wanted. I got another really warm scarf in a fabulous color because we have been having cold weather down here in south Texas and I hate cold weather. I got some funky earrings that I've been wanting. I got a Pay Day from the Boy Child because he could afford that and he knows Pay Days are one of my guilty pleasures. I got some wonderfully smelling stuff from Bath and Bodyworks. And hubby has a great sense of humor so he wrapped everything up in this fabulous bright pink tote (with an amazing number of pockets) that we got as a free gift for donating to a charity and gave all the gifts to me in that.
But, (everyone always has a big butt, right?) here's what I didn't get that I really wanted. I didn't put any of this on the list, but I'm telling you guys. So, if you can, help a sista' out?
The Unstated Real Birthday List
1. I want my boobs back where they used to be. And, while they (whoever's gonna do this for me) are at it, I'd also like them a titch larger than they are right now. Y'know just to help me get some attention when I need it?
2. I want my hair not to do this weird thing it's started doing called: Growing right out of the front of my head. WTH? Is that some sort of old thing?
3. This one is kinda for women only: I'd like to be On the Cycle Again or Completely Off the Cycle instead of just every 78 days, or every 14 days, or every 112 days, or anytime my body thinks it's time again. Yeesh. I am ready to say good-bye to fertilehood for good.
4. I'd like to be able to remember shiz without writing it down. It's kind of annoying to have a memory that is only three seconds long. And I am kinda tired of Girl 1 always accusing me of having early onset Alzheimer's.
5. I'd really love to be able to text without my bifocals. OLD PERSON ON BOARD. Yeah, that's me. Yeesh. Embarrassing and cumbersome. Oh, and I'd like to be able to text as fast as a tween.
6. I want the skin on my hands back. I have developed in the past five years this weird old people skin on my hands and I don't really like it.
7. These dark circles under my eyes and wrinkles on my forehead need to be cleared up. (I'm thinking when they are working on my boob concerns they can just skip up to my face and fix that.)
8. I'd like my acute hearing back from the 80's. Now, I've never really had great hearing. If you're a long term reader you know that one of my greatest fears is going completely deaf by my fifties. So, I'd really just like to be able to hear. Everything. Like a superpower. Or, just like a regular human.
9. I'd like to be able to drink the amount of beer I want without it going directly to my belly in record time. Remember the good 'ole days when you could stay out all night drinking and not feel any repercussions? Yeah, I want those days back.
10. And, just because I'm a stickler for even numbers. I'd like to eat all the chocolate I want just once. Doesn't everyone want that?
11. Oh, and one more. I'd really like to get the rest of my life figured out. Seriously? What am I going to be when I grow up? (I'm sure hubby would like me to figure that out, too.)
So, friends. Happy birthday to me! Don't worry - I won't put candles on my cake. Safety first!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Crack German Dark Chocolate Cake (presumably with gluten)
I blame my brother for my latest indulgence in dark chocolate gooiness heaven. He had to have a birthday. Damn him. My brother's favorite cake is German chocolate and I have a tradition of making him a cake. It used to be a box cake. Then a few years ago when I got snappy and decided to give up as many preservatives as I could, it became homemade.
I went through a few German chocolate cake recipes, y'all. And, although they were good - I think German chocolate cake is supposed to be a bit less sweet (and less moist?) than regular chocolate cake. If you are a professional reading this post, please tell me if I am mistaken. Because my cakes were coming out less sweet and slightly dry, I cannot tell you that I was really in love with any of the recipes I tried.
Last year the German chocolate cake I made had about 25 eggs in it, so I renamed that one Heart Attack Cake. And, for all those eggs, it wasn't all that great.
Well, this year with the help of a good friend I made Crack Cake (named that by me because it is habit forming within seconds of eating it and you might go to jail when someone tries to eat your piece and you stab them with a fork).
It is hands down the best chocolate cake I have ever eaten. In my life. (And I've tried a lot of chocolate cake just ask my waistline.) If you try it and it's awful then clearly it is because my cake making skills are awesome and superior to yours. Since we all know that's not true, then you should make it and it will be habit forming for you as it was with me.
Here's the recipe (from the box of Hershey's Especially Dark Chocolate): Don't blame me if you need rehab afterwards.
Hershey's Especially Dark Chocolate (Habit Forming) Crack Cake
2 c sugar
1 3/4 c flour (I used cake flour because I had some in the pantry and it said "cake flour.")
3/4 c Hershey's Special Dark Cocoa
1 1/2 t baking powder
1 1/2 t baking soda
1 t salt
2 eggs
1 c milk
1/2 c vegetable oil
2 t vanilla
1 c boiling water
Heat over to 350. Grease and flour two 9 inch round baking pans (I used a 9 x 13 because my kids hate coconut and it's easier for them to scrape off their frosting - and put it on my cake - when there is less to scrape.). Stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla; beat on medium speed of mixer 2 minutes (I beat mine way longer because I went to pay some bills - I am a genius multi-tasker - and forgot the Kitchen Aide was on). Stir in boiling water (batter will be thin). Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes, remove from pans to wire rack.
There is no Nutrition Information on this one. I'm gonna estimate the calories from fat at somewhere around 1000 (especially since you're gonna want about five pieces).
We had about four pieces leftover that my family took home and they were DELISH the second day. (Not that I ate all four pieces the second day.)
Family report on the cake? Hubby - who doesn't really care for chocolate - damn him - said it was super yummy. Girl 1 said she liked German chocolate cake frosting now. Girl 2, 3 and Boy Child ate it without frosting and with ice cream and said it was good.
I've been using the same recipe for the frosting for years because it is super easy and I can almost remember all the ingredients. Here is the frosting recipe. It's delish - not that this cake even needs frosting. It would be excellent with a steaming hot cuppa joe.
I'll be working out a little more this week in an effort to work off the calories from this cake. I don't say this much, but y'all, it was so yummy it was worth every calorie.
Happy eating!
I went through a few German chocolate cake recipes, y'all. And, although they were good - I think German chocolate cake is supposed to be a bit less sweet (and less moist?) than regular chocolate cake. If you are a professional reading this post, please tell me if I am mistaken. Because my cakes were coming out less sweet and slightly dry, I cannot tell you that I was really in love with any of the recipes I tried.
Last year the German chocolate cake I made had about 25 eggs in it, so I renamed that one Heart Attack Cake. And, for all those eggs, it wasn't all that great.
Well, this year with the help of a good friend I made Crack Cake (named that by me because it is habit forming within seconds of eating it and you might go to jail when someone tries to eat your piece and you stab them with a fork).
It is hands down the best chocolate cake I have ever eaten. In my life. (And I've tried a lot of chocolate cake just ask my waistline.) If you try it and it's awful then clearly it is because my cake making skills are awesome and superior to yours. Since we all know that's not true, then you should make it and it will be habit forming for you as it was with me.
Here's the recipe (from the box of Hershey's Especially Dark Chocolate): Don't blame me if you need rehab afterwards.
Hershey's Especially Dark Chocolate (Habit Forming) Crack Cake
2 c sugar
1 3/4 c flour (I used cake flour because I had some in the pantry and it said "cake flour.")
3/4 c Hershey's Special Dark Cocoa
1 1/2 t baking powder
1 1/2 t baking soda
1 t salt
2 eggs
1 c milk
1/2 c vegetable oil
2 t vanilla
1 c boiling water
Heat over to 350. Grease and flour two 9 inch round baking pans (I used a 9 x 13 because my kids hate coconut and it's easier for them to scrape off their frosting - and put it on my cake - when there is less to scrape.). Stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla; beat on medium speed of mixer 2 minutes (I beat mine way longer because I went to pay some bills - I am a genius multi-tasker - and forgot the Kitchen Aide was on). Stir in boiling water (batter will be thin). Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes, remove from pans to wire rack.
There is no Nutrition Information on this one. I'm gonna estimate the calories from fat at somewhere around 1000 (especially since you're gonna want about five pieces).
We had about four pieces leftover that my family took home and they were DELISH the second day. (Not that I ate all four pieces the second day.)
Family report on the cake? Hubby - who doesn't really care for chocolate - damn him - said it was super yummy. Girl 1 said she liked German chocolate cake frosting now. Girl 2, 3 and Boy Child ate it without frosting and with ice cream and said it was good.
I've been using the same recipe for the frosting for years because it is super easy and I can almost remember all the ingredients. Here is the frosting recipe. It's delish - not that this cake even needs frosting. It would be excellent with a steaming hot cuppa joe.
I'll be working out a little more this week in an effort to work off the calories from this cake. I don't say this much, but y'all, it was so yummy it was worth every calorie.
Happy eating!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Cake pops! (In which I practice Extreme Procrastination and then overachieve.)
As you probably know, I am a self-professed slacker mom and I am also a non-baker/cook. I really suck at baking. I can screw up basically any "simple" recipe. So much that I look for the words "simple" in titles and then scan the recipes to see just how simple they are before making the final decision to make them.
These past few years I have realized that my life is probably half over and if I want to ever bake stuff, I better get busy. Against my better judgment, this has led to me experimenting with all kinds of baking. Some of them were successful. Some of them, not so much. Mostly, my family has not suffered. I have written much about my successes and my screw-ups. I have perfected: biscuits, homemade brownies, and some cookies including plain sugar cookies. I still struggle with: frosting a cake, cookie decorating that doesn't look like it was done by a first grader (and some first grader skills are way above mine), and some kinds of cookies (the kinds that burn easily).
My slackerish mom ways and my often misguided attempts at baking collided somewhat when Girl 2 announced about a year ago that she would like me to make cake pops for her eighth birthday. She was forward thinking in giving me nearly a year to step up to the challenge. Naturally, I waited eight months to get off my slackerish a$$ and research the making of cake pops. Then, I waited another month for the cheapest cake pop maker to go on sale. Then, I waited until the day before Girl 2's birthday to get the cake pop maker out of the box and make the damn things.
And, THEN guess what. God cut me a break. Or, He felt sorry for me because I am such a last minute slacker. No matter what the divine intervention: THEY WERE EDIBLE and FESTIVE!
I know. I can't believe it either. I actually was successful despite my extreme procrastination.
And, because I love you - just in case you ever want to make cake pops - I am going to show you what I did so that you can make festive ones too (with the least amount of effort)!
Here are the steps I followed (adjust as you see fit). (I feel my list is much more real and entertaining than the gazillion YouTube videos I watched while doing my research. You're welcome.)
1. Buy a Bella cake pop maker and lollipop sticks when they go on sale at Target.
2. Keep it nicely stored in your closet until the day before you need to have your pops ready.
3. Wait until late afternoon that day and start to panic.
4. Get the cake pop maker out and browse through the 100 pages of directions, warnings, and warranties (violence to the cake pop maker - and you *might* feel violent at this point - is not covered under warranty).
5. See if you have any of the ingredients to make the chocolate pop recipe that came with the damn maker because you don't have time to go to the store before your baby wakes up and your other three kids get off the bus.
6. Eat a yummy snack because you HAVE all the ingredients for the chocolate pop recipe in the book! (And, also you will need to feel better when all your kids get home and the kitchen is a filthy mess and you are still not done.)
7. Make the cake pops. Here is the recipe I used and it was yummy. You should really double it because you will probably need about 20 for any type of small children and after a few beers you are going to want another 20. Trust me on that one.
EZ Scratch Chocolate Cake Pops or Donut Holes
1/2 cup unsalted butter, soft
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 t vanilla
1 cup flour
1/2 t cream of tartar
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
Cream butter and sugar. Add all other ingredients. Follow directions that come with the your cake pop maker.
8. Desperately search for the lollipop sticks you swear you bought. Curse loudly and slam another beer because YOU CANNOT FIND THEM ANYWHERE. Text hubby and ask him to get you some sticks at Hobby Lobby. Delete text because hubby has no idea what lollipop sticks are and it's doubtful he can find Hobby Lobby.
9. FIND the sticks! Praise yourself and then quickly curse yourself for not having meltable chocolate for decorating. Damn it.
10. Drag four kids to Hobby Lobby for meltable chocolate and more sprinkles.
11. Get home and drink a beer because you are half way through! Melt your chocolate, pop the sticks into the balls (dipping the stick in chocolate before inserting it into the ball helps it all stick together better), and cover each cake pop with chocolate (shaking them slightly to spread the chocolate, but not so much that the stick pops out or the damn pop breaks). Immediately after covering them with chocolate (while the chocolate is still gooey) sprinkle sprinkles all over your chocolate ball.
12. Pop them into some Styrofoam (I am obviously not a planner, so I used the Styrofoam that came with the cake pop maker.)
13. Refrigerate your pops a few hours to make them harden.
14. Make dinner for six now starving people and drink another beer.
15. Put all your pops into little clear plastic bags and tie them with a cute ribbon.
16. Fall into bed at around midnight having drank (drunk?) a six-pack of beer and made adorable pops!
17. Wake up clear headed (mostly) and have the foresight to put all the fancy cake pops into a basket so that no kid destroys them before they are popped in their little mouths.
So, that's my Cake Pop tutorial for dummies (no offense). I hope you will try them. Happy Birthday, Girl 2! Momma loves you enough to make you cake pops (and that's a whole lotta love)!
I would like to try to make some eyeballs or other things that are round and ballish. But that will have to wait. I have clearly overachieved and I am thankful to God. (And I don't want to piss Him off just yet.)
These past few years I have realized that my life is probably half over and if I want to ever bake stuff, I better get busy. Against my better judgment, this has led to me experimenting with all kinds of baking. Some of them were successful. Some of them, not so much. Mostly, my family has not suffered. I have written much about my successes and my screw-ups. I have perfected: biscuits, homemade brownies, and some cookies including plain sugar cookies. I still struggle with: frosting a cake, cookie decorating that doesn't look like it was done by a first grader (and some first grader skills are way above mine), and some kinds of cookies (the kinds that burn easily).
My slackerish mom ways and my often misguided attempts at baking collided somewhat when Girl 2 announced about a year ago that she would like me to make cake pops for her eighth birthday. She was forward thinking in giving me nearly a year to step up to the challenge. Naturally, I waited eight months to get off my slackerish a$$ and research the making of cake pops. Then, I waited another month for the cheapest cake pop maker to go on sale. Then, I waited until the day before Girl 2's birthday to get the cake pop maker out of the box and make the damn things.
And, THEN guess what. God cut me a break. Or, He felt sorry for me because I am such a last minute slacker. No matter what the divine intervention: THEY WERE EDIBLE and FESTIVE!
I know. I can't believe it either. I actually was successful despite my extreme procrastination.
And, because I love you - just in case you ever want to make cake pops - I am going to show you what I did so that you can make festive ones too (with the least amount of effort)!
Here are the steps I followed (adjust as you see fit). (I feel my list is much more real and entertaining than the gazillion YouTube videos I watched while doing my research. You're welcome.)
1. Buy a Bella cake pop maker and lollipop sticks when they go on sale at Target.
2. Keep it nicely stored in your closet until the day before you need to have your pops ready.
3. Wait until late afternoon that day and start to panic.
4. Get the cake pop maker out and browse through the 100 pages of directions, warnings, and warranties (violence to the cake pop maker - and you *might* feel violent at this point - is not covered under warranty).
5. See if you have any of the ingredients to make the chocolate pop recipe that came with the damn maker because you don't have time to go to the store before your baby wakes up and your other three kids get off the bus.
6. Eat a yummy snack because you HAVE all the ingredients for the chocolate pop recipe in the book! (And, also you will need to feel better when all your kids get home and the kitchen is a filthy mess and you are still not done.)
7. Make the cake pops. Here is the recipe I used and it was yummy. You should really double it because you will probably need about 20 for any type of small children and after a few beers you are going to want another 20. Trust me on that one.
EZ Scratch Chocolate Cake Pops or Donut Holes
1/2 cup unsalted butter, soft
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 t vanilla
1 cup flour
1/2 t cream of tartar
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
Cream butter and sugar. Add all other ingredients. Follow directions that come with the your cake pop maker.
 |
| These are the cooked pops before decorating. Yeah. See why you should double the recipe? They are bite-sized for Pete's sake. |
8. Desperately search for the lollipop sticks you swear you bought. Curse loudly and slam another beer because YOU CANNOT FIND THEM ANYWHERE. Text hubby and ask him to get you some sticks at Hobby Lobby. Delete text because hubby has no idea what lollipop sticks are and it's doubtful he can find Hobby Lobby.
9. FIND the sticks! Praise yourself and then quickly curse yourself for not having meltable chocolate for decorating. Damn it.
10. Drag four kids to Hobby Lobby for meltable chocolate and more sprinkles.
11. Get home and drink a beer because you are half way through! Melt your chocolate, pop the sticks into the balls (dipping the stick in chocolate before inserting it into the ball helps it all stick together better), and cover each cake pop with chocolate (shaking them slightly to spread the chocolate, but not so much that the stick pops out or the damn pop breaks). Immediately after covering them with chocolate (while the chocolate is still gooey) sprinkle sprinkles all over your chocolate ball.
12. Pop them into some Styrofoam (I am obviously not a planner, so I used the Styrofoam that came with the cake pop maker.)
 |
| Maybe that's why they wrap the cake pop maker in Styrofoam? Because you're gonna need it later? I'd like to think so. |
13. Refrigerate your pops a few hours to make them harden.
14. Make dinner for six now starving people and drink another beer.
15. Put all your pops into little clear plastic bags and tie them with a cute ribbon.
 |
| Festive? |
16. Fall into bed at around midnight having drank (drunk?) a six-pack of beer and made adorable pops!
17. Wake up clear headed (mostly) and have the foresight to put all the fancy cake pops into a basket so that no kid destroys them before they are popped in their little mouths.
 |
| Girl 2 kinda looked like Little Red Riding Hood. |
So, that's my Cake Pop tutorial for dummies (no offense). I hope you will try them. Happy Birthday, Girl 2! Momma loves you enough to make you cake pops (and that's a whole lotta love)!
I would like to try to make some eyeballs or other things that are round and ballish. But that will have to wait. I have clearly overachieved and I am thankful to God. (And I don't want to piss Him off just yet.)
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Girl 1's Birthday at the Geezer House in Which Hubby Almost Uses the Jaws of Life on the Three Year Old
It was the birthday of Girl 1 (and, yes, English is my native language - I just have trouble with possessives and numerals) this past Saturday. In the dysfunctional way that only our family can be, we ended up at a local diner for her celebration dinner. Although she was only turning nine, this diner is notorious for being a geezer house. As in: There is usually no one under 87 in the diner dining, and the waitresses (as kind as they are) all kinda resemble Flo.
So, there we are dining on meatloaf, mashed potatoes, really soft green beans, and jello (I am exaggerating, but not by much) when the three year old decides to go south (figuratively and literally). She had been slowly making a downward spiral (as evidenced by the amount of food under her high chair) when all of a sudden I noticed she had scooted down low in her restaurant issued high chair.
It was about an hour past her bedtime and she was being especially ornery, so I mostly just ignored her. This continued for about five minutes until I noticed this:
Now, this is not a skillful drawing. In fact, it is mostly copied and pasted from Google Restaurant Chairs, but the "drawing" is to represent my child. The red "X" is her head and the blue twisted line is her body.
I wasn't too concerned because although her head was wedged abnormally in what could be considered a tight spot, she wasn't really complaining too much. I think I said, "Get back up in your chair," or something like that and continued eating.
Then a few minutes later she started to make little squealing sounds. I looked at her and it did indeed appear that her head was stuck. So, like any good mom, I grabbed her by the armpits and tried to hoist her back on to the seat. It was then that I noticed because of the slant of her body - I might need back-up. Meanwhile, Girl 2 had noticed what was going on and had moved from her seat at my left to "help." She helped by mostly loudly saying to me, "MOM, help her." I think it was about then that I was struck with a horrible case of the giggles. I plain could not stop laughing at the situation.
By then the geezers had started to stare and some of the Flos had slowed down with their trays to gawk at us. My observant and serious son had come over from his spot at the other side of our table to say, "MOM, CAN YOU STOP LAUGHING? JEESH, MOM. THIS IS NOT REALLY FUNNY. You need to help baby." That only made me laugh harder and tears started coming out of my eyes.
A few seconds later hubby finally noticed what was happening and I think I said (or tried to say through my laughter), "I'm gonna need some help over here, babe." It was then that he sprang into action. If you are a longtime reader you know that hubby's true calling in life was to be a fire fighter. He's not one. But, every chance he gets to save people in a fire related incident he goes above and beyond. He literally jumped out of his seat with this look of terror in his eyes. Of course, that made me laugh so hard I had to turn away from the crisis. He started to yank baby back up.
By then, Girl 1 was saying loudly, "TURN HER HEAD, DAD. PUSH HER THROUGH!" He tried, but she has ears, so that didn't work. Meanwhile baby was saying loudly, "I'm stuck! Help me!" At some point hubby said to me, "Babe, I don't know what to do." I remember helpfully saying through tears which just kept coming, "What do you want me to do? Get a hacksaw? She got down there, she's gotta come back up." While Boy Child kept saying, "MOM! PLEASE STOP LAUGHING! CAN YOU PLEASE BE SERIOUS?"
Oh man. We have a bit of a history regarding making scenes in restaurants. This may be a another one that does not invite us back. She did eventually get out and hubby plopped her (a bit violently) back on a real chair. Whereupon in classic Our Family style she kicked the highchair and said, "I hate that highchair." Nice. She won't need therapy later.
I know I've taught my kids well because immediately after the crisis was over Girl 1 said, "Aw, man, mom. Why didn't you videotape that??? We could've won something."
I'll try to keep my kids safe until next time, but I'm not making any promises.
So, there we are dining on meatloaf, mashed potatoes, really soft green beans, and jello (I am exaggerating, but not by much) when the three year old decides to go south (figuratively and literally). She had been slowly making a downward spiral (as evidenced by the amount of food under her high chair) when all of a sudden I noticed she had scooted down low in her restaurant issued high chair.
It was about an hour past her bedtime and she was being especially ornery, so I mostly just ignored her. This continued for about five minutes until I noticed this:
I wasn't too concerned because although her head was wedged abnormally in what could be considered a tight spot, she wasn't really complaining too much. I think I said, "Get back up in your chair," or something like that and continued eating.
Then a few minutes later she started to make little squealing sounds. I looked at her and it did indeed appear that her head was stuck. So, like any good mom, I grabbed her by the armpits and tried to hoist her back on to the seat. It was then that I noticed because of the slant of her body - I might need back-up. Meanwhile, Girl 2 had noticed what was going on and had moved from her seat at my left to "help." She helped by mostly loudly saying to me, "MOM, help her." I think it was about then that I was struck with a horrible case of the giggles. I plain could not stop laughing at the situation.
By then the geezers had started to stare and some of the Flos had slowed down with their trays to gawk at us. My observant and serious son had come over from his spot at the other side of our table to say, "MOM, CAN YOU STOP LAUGHING? JEESH, MOM. THIS IS NOT REALLY FUNNY. You need to help baby." That only made me laugh harder and tears started coming out of my eyes.
A few seconds later hubby finally noticed what was happening and I think I said (or tried to say through my laughter), "I'm gonna need some help over here, babe." It was then that he sprang into action. If you are a longtime reader you know that hubby's true calling in life was to be a fire fighter. He's not one. But, every chance he gets to save people in a fire related incident he goes above and beyond. He literally jumped out of his seat with this look of terror in his eyes. Of course, that made me laugh so hard I had to turn away from the crisis. He started to yank baby back up.
By then, Girl 1 was saying loudly, "TURN HER HEAD, DAD. PUSH HER THROUGH!" He tried, but she has ears, so that didn't work. Meanwhile baby was saying loudly, "I'm stuck! Help me!" At some point hubby said to me, "Babe, I don't know what to do." I remember helpfully saying through tears which just kept coming, "What do you want me to do? Get a hacksaw? She got down there, she's gotta come back up." While Boy Child kept saying, "MOM! PLEASE STOP LAUGHING! CAN YOU PLEASE BE SERIOUS?"
Oh man. We have a bit of a history regarding making scenes in restaurants. This may be a another one that does not invite us back. She did eventually get out and hubby plopped her (a bit violently) back on a real chair. Whereupon in classic Our Family style she kicked the highchair and said, "I hate that highchair." Nice. She won't need therapy later.
I know I've taught my kids well because immediately after the crisis was over Girl 1 said, "Aw, man, mom. Why didn't you videotape that??? We could've won something."
I'll try to keep my kids safe until next time, but I'm not making any promises.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
M.'s Terrific 10th Gaming Birthday Party Update!
Just checking in to give you an update on the birthday party set to happen this Friday (And, Mother Nature - if you are reading, I am giving you plenty of time to change the forecast to sunny. Please and thank you.)
I decided to try on my own to create a birthday invitation similar to the one I saw online that cost $17.00 for the template alone (then you still had to pay for printing). I think you know that I am the anti-computer literate gal, so after about two hours of Publisher I had this. It came out pretty good (I couldn't get a good shot of the invitation, so just know that it's much cuter IRL).
I had them printed because my printer just couldn't do them justice. Total cost - about $15.00 for 20 invitations. M. loved them, so it was worth it. The treat bags are coming together, but I will have to post pictures of them later because I haven't made the angry bird bags yet. But, these yummy cookies are going inside as one of the treats along with Angry Bird Silly Bandz, black barrels-o-slime, and snap-n-glow stick lollipops.
I decided to try on my own to create a birthday invitation similar to the one I saw online that cost $17.00 for the template alone (then you still had to pay for printing). I think you know that I am the anti-computer literate gal, so after about two hours of Publisher I had this. It came out pretty good (I couldn't get a good shot of the invitation, so just know that it's much cuter IRL).
I had them printed because my printer just couldn't do them justice. Total cost - about $15.00 for 20 invitations. M. loved them, so it was worth it. The treat bags are coming together, but I will have to post pictures of them later because I haven't made the angry bird bags yet. But, these yummy cookies are going inside as one of the treats along with Angry Bird Silly Bandz, black barrels-o-slime, and snap-n-glow stick lollipops.
Pinterest is being a pain today, so I am unable to upload these cute babies to my party board. :o( Hope to have them pinned later. They are not quite as cute as the ones here that I was trying to copy by following her directions, but pretty darn good for a cookie novice.
That's it for now. I am soooooooo excited - it kinda seems like it's my birthday. But, I sometimes set myself up for disappointment by getting my hopes high, so I am trying to keep the whole thing in perspective (yeah, right - who am I kidding?).
Happy days and I'll check back in soon with the "finished product!"
P.S. - Finished these today!
 |
| angry bird treat bags |
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Birthday Bash Planning Begins
We are Mean Parents that don't do birthday parties for our kids after their kindergarten birthday party. As I have said many times, we live within a TIGHT budget and all-and-out parties for four kids every year along with Christmas, summer vacations, and just-because presents can get REALLY pricey QUICKLY. So, we made a deal (hubby and I) years ago when our son was turning five that the sixth birthday would be the last big party for our kiddos. Then we would have another big party for 10 and another big party for graduation (assuming they do graduate.....kidding.....kind of). I am telling you all of this because my son has not had a party in four years and I get to plan one NOW! He will turn 10 on December 17, and I am beyond excited and he is pretty excited as well.
He loves all things technological and he loves gaming. As much as I discourage this (yes, I am more for actual play in the real world), I realize we have a teeny tiny house and I admit I've not the foggiest idea on where to start on entertaining 10 to 15 nine year old boys. So, I have succumbed and he is getting Games2U for his party. After securing the game truck, I decided I better start the actual planning: the invitations, the decorations, the menu, the favors, the cupcakes/cake, etc.
I have found yet another wonderful use for Pinterest and I have pinned some pretty cool stuff. If you have a burning desire - check out my video game birthday party board. My son was in love with the invitations I pinned. But, they were not cheap. Our budget for the party is not huge and the gaming truck has taken a large chunk of it, so I decided to get on Microsoft Publisher and just do our own. I used the basic idea from the invitation I pinned, but inserted pictures he picked. Since I am considerably technology impaired and it only took me about an hour, I am pretty damn proud of it. As soon as I send it to the printers I will post a picture here.
My next step will be making some of these awesome Angry Birds decorations. This site was so great, helpful, and just cute.
I realize this post is a little All About Me/Us/Me, but I just can't help it. It kinda feels like I am turning 10 again and since I don't really remember the first time - I can't help being just a little excited. :o)
He loves all things technological and he loves gaming. As much as I discourage this (yes, I am more for actual play in the real world), I realize we have a teeny tiny house and I admit I've not the foggiest idea on where to start on entertaining 10 to 15 nine year old boys. So, I have succumbed and he is getting Games2U for his party. After securing the game truck, I decided I better start the actual planning: the invitations, the decorations, the menu, the favors, the cupcakes/cake, etc.
I have found yet another wonderful use for Pinterest and I have pinned some pretty cool stuff. If you have a burning desire - check out my video game birthday party board. My son was in love with the invitations I pinned. But, they were not cheap. Our budget for the party is not huge and the gaming truck has taken a large chunk of it, so I decided to get on Microsoft Publisher and just do our own. I used the basic idea from the invitation I pinned, but inserted pictures he picked. Since I am considerably technology impaired and it only took me about an hour, I am pretty damn proud of it. As soon as I send it to the printers I will post a picture here.
My next step will be making some of these awesome Angry Birds decorations. This site was so great, helpful, and just cute.
I realize this post is a little All About Me/Us/Me, but I just can't help it. It kinda feels like I am turning 10 again and since I don't really remember the first time - I can't help being just a little excited. :o)
Monday, September 19, 2011
What? Where? And, remind me - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
It's Monday. So, since it's already a tough day, can we talk about aging for a minute? It sucks. I have decided to share a few tidbits from another list that I have been working on for about three years now. I call it:
Aging Sucks. Don't Let Anyone Tell You Any Different
Side note: It's baby's third birthday today. Now, when I'm dead and baby (hopefully she will go by her given name by then) reads my blog lovingly over and over trying to remember what a witty and wise mom she had I do not want her to think that I was only thinking about myself on HER third birthday. So, this is for you, baby, when you are old and known by your real name, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY! I LOVE YOU AND I AM SO HAPPY YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE!"
Okay. On with what I'm thinking about today. If you are Where I Am let this be a refresher list for you. If you are not Where I Am, let this be a warning. If you are past Where I Am - God bless ya, be glad you are still alive, grab your bi-focals, and have a good laugh at how you used to be. By the way - Where I Am is somewhere between 30 and 50........WITH A THREE YEAR OLD.
1. At some point you will have to wear bi-focals. Let me tell you why these are a raw deal. First a short history in opthamology: When you were born you had excellent vision. You could see through walls. As you aged you may have gone the route of glasses or contacts. Or you may have been one of the lucky ones who skipped through Life Under 40 with nothing but your naked eyes. BUT, you will know you are close to 40 or 40 because one day you will wake up and not be able to see the directions on the medicine you are either taking or dispensing. It's a little disturbing at first. You will go to the eye doctor and he will do an irritating test where he says, "Is it 1 or 2? A or B? C or D? 3 or 4?" Until you think you have failed the SAT. Then he will tell you, "You need bi-focals. It happens when you get old." This will make you want to say, "Thanks, eye doctor. Now, go suck an egg." At first your bi-focals will be fun and cute (like a new puppy). But, then you will lose them, have to purchase like 10 pairs to keep all over, and you will forget what "prescription" you need when you are at the actual store where they SELL bifocals (You will stand before the racks of bifocals saying to yourself, "Is it negative 3 or 4, 4 or 5, 6 or 7????"). It's all terribly annoying. AND, forget about texting. Don't feel bad about not being able to read the text because there is no way you will be able to text back. Squint and figure out who is texting and then pick up your home phone (Remember those? You're gonna need one again.) and call them. Hopefully they are a reader of this blog, so they will know what the hell is going on.
2. Your hearing will gradually go. At first this will be a grand excuse to ignore your kids, hubby, and friends (like when they are reminding you you owe them money). But, then you will find you actually need your hearing and not having it can, frankly, be embarrassing. Here are a few examples:
4. Menopause kicks in if you are a woman. If you are a man reading my blog: sorry, but if you know any women approaching 40 you might want to read #4 just by way of self preservation. Now, let me just say menopause is a strange creature. The more I know it, the more I want to say, "Remember when you were a teenager and your emotions could flip on a dime, you sometimes had this raging appetite (no funny business here) where you wanted to eat like a live horse, you sometimes slept until your mom woke you up and told you a week had passed, and you sometimes felt like the most minor of all occurrences could literally RUIN YOUR LIFE???????" Well, that's menopause in a nutshell. Add some extreme bloating, night sweats, migraines, and bad cramping and you've got it. Does it sound like a church picnic on a beautiful sunny day? No, I don't think so either.
5. Your memory will fail you. Now, I've never had a mind for details so my mind fails me in much broader ways. For example (and take note - this is just an example it hasn't actually happened): I would never forget my fourth born's date of birth because I never was able to remember that in the first place. But, I might forget the fourth born. It's shocking and embarrassing at first, but if you carry your phone (and your bifocals) around with you most of the time you can always try to remember to slip away and google what you need to know.
I have tried to hit the most important aspects of aging with this short list. There are many more, but you will just have to muddle through those on your own. After all you didn't get this far simply by reading my blog! Now, lest I end this post all gloom and doom - take heart! Remember you will be much wiser and able to laugh at the foolishness of young people. Just know you will doing it with your glasses on, they will have to be loudly foolish and you will have to remember who the hell they are and why you give a flip. At any rate - Happy Monday, my friends! Enjoy your day, and remember this is your LAST DAY being exactly as old as you are!
Aging Sucks. Don't Let Anyone Tell You Any Different
Side note: It's baby's third birthday today. Now, when I'm dead and baby (hopefully she will go by her given name by then) reads my blog lovingly over and over trying to remember what a witty and wise mom she had I do not want her to think that I was only thinking about myself on HER third birthday. So, this is for you, baby, when you are old and known by your real name, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY! I LOVE YOU AND I AM SO HAPPY YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE!"
Okay. On with what I'm thinking about today. If you are Where I Am let this be a refresher list for you. If you are not Where I Am, let this be a warning. If you are past Where I Am - God bless ya, be glad you are still alive, grab your bi-focals, and have a good laugh at how you used to be. By the way - Where I Am is somewhere between 30 and 50........WITH A THREE YEAR OLD.
1. At some point you will have to wear bi-focals. Let me tell you why these are a raw deal. First a short history in opthamology: When you were born you had excellent vision. You could see through walls. As you aged you may have gone the route of glasses or contacts. Or you may have been one of the lucky ones who skipped through Life Under 40 with nothing but your naked eyes. BUT, you will know you are close to 40 or 40 because one day you will wake up and not be able to see the directions on the medicine you are either taking or dispensing. It's a little disturbing at first. You will go to the eye doctor and he will do an irritating test where he says, "Is it 1 or 2? A or B? C or D? 3 or 4?" Until you think you have failed the SAT. Then he will tell you, "You need bi-focals. It happens when you get old." This will make you want to say, "Thanks, eye doctor. Now, go suck an egg." At first your bi-focals will be fun and cute (like a new puppy). But, then you will lose them, have to purchase like 10 pairs to keep all over, and you will forget what "prescription" you need when you are at the actual store where they SELL bifocals (You will stand before the racks of bifocals saying to yourself, "Is it negative 3 or 4, 4 or 5, 6 or 7????"). It's all terribly annoying. AND, forget about texting. Don't feel bad about not being able to read the text because there is no way you will be able to text back. Squint and figure out who is texting and then pick up your home phone (Remember those? You're gonna need one again.) and call them. Hopefully they are a reader of this blog, so they will know what the hell is going on.
2. Your hearing will gradually go. At first this will be a grand excuse to ignore your kids, hubby, and friends (like when they are reminding you you owe them money). But, then you will find you actually need your hearing and not having it can, frankly, be embarrassing. Here are a few examples:
- The school (where your kids go) calls and tells you, "Blahblahwhooblah, blah is in the nurse's office. It seems blahwhoohasoma." You say, "WHO? WHAT HAPPENED?" The nurse patiently repeats what she said the first time and makes a note in your kid's file, "Mom is deaf."
- You go through the bank drive through and ask for your balance. The teller speaks through that tunnel that I think is connected to Australia and says, "Two thhunonefour." You scream back, "EXCUSE ME???" She patiently screams back at you and then everyone in the drive through line knows that you are overdrawn and have been for about two weeks.
- You constantly tell friends, relatives (and sometimes strangers) that your cell phone is "breaking up," simply because you cannot hear a $%*# word they are saying.
4. Menopause kicks in if you are a woman. If you are a man reading my blog: sorry, but if you know any women approaching 40 you might want to read #4 just by way of self preservation. Now, let me just say menopause is a strange creature. The more I know it, the more I want to say, "Remember when you were a teenager and your emotions could flip on a dime, you sometimes had this raging appetite (no funny business here) where you wanted to eat like a live horse, you sometimes slept until your mom woke you up and told you a week had passed, and you sometimes felt like the most minor of all occurrences could literally RUIN YOUR LIFE???????" Well, that's menopause in a nutshell. Add some extreme bloating, night sweats, migraines, and bad cramping and you've got it. Does it sound like a church picnic on a beautiful sunny day? No, I don't think so either.
5. Your memory will fail you. Now, I've never had a mind for details so my mind fails me in much broader ways. For example (and take note - this is just an example it hasn't actually happened): I would never forget my fourth born's date of birth because I never was able to remember that in the first place. But, I might forget the fourth born. It's shocking and embarrassing at first, but if you carry your phone (and your bifocals) around with you most of the time you can always try to remember to slip away and google what you need to know.
I have tried to hit the most important aspects of aging with this short list. There are many more, but you will just have to muddle through those on your own. After all you didn't get this far simply by reading my blog! Now, lest I end this post all gloom and doom - take heart! Remember you will be much wiser and able to laugh at the foolishness of young people. Just know you will doing it with your glasses on, they will have to be loudly foolish and you will have to remember who the hell they are and why you give a flip. At any rate - Happy Monday, my friends! Enjoy your day, and remember this is your LAST DAY being exactly as old as you are!
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