Showing posts with label fund raising. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fund raising. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Sunday, September 2, 2012
First Week of School 2012-2013 Realities
1. Come Thursday of the first week of school, I will not be able to process a single coherent thought.
2. With each child I will take less photos (if any), less enthusiastically.
3. Fifth grade is not for the weak (teachers or students...or parents).
4. I have changed my "employment" status (again) to "Self employed." And, although it is not entirely accurate, I like it.
5. I *might have been* at school this first week as much as the principal. (She and I discussed this in depth.)
6. There is not much accomplished during Meet the Teacher each year. I am less and less motivated to attend. (This is no fault of the teachers or staff.)
7. P.T.A.
8. P.T.A. fund raiser (at least it's chocolate this year?)
9. P.T.A. chocolate fund raiser. I mean, really? Are they trying to kill me personally?
10. It's Sunday morning at 11:37 a.m. after the first week of school. I have not brushed my teeth, I still have the clothes on that I slept in, I have managed to read many more pages of the fabulous book I am reading, I have not even stepped out of the house to get the paper, I have had enough sleep, and I am thinking I *might* be able to survive the second week of school.
2. With each child I will take less photos (if any), less enthusiastically.
3. Fifth grade is not for the weak (teachers or students...or parents).
4. I have changed my "employment" status (again) to "Self employed." And, although it is not entirely accurate, I like it.
5. I *might have been* at school this first week as much as the principal. (She and I discussed this in depth.)
6. There is not much accomplished during Meet the Teacher each year. I am less and less motivated to attend. (This is no fault of the teachers or staff.)
7. P.T.A.
8. P.T.A. fund raiser (at least it's chocolate this year?)
9. P.T.A. chocolate fund raiser. I mean, really? Are they trying to kill me personally?
10. It's Sunday morning at 11:37 a.m. after the first week of school. I have not brushed my teeth, I still have the clothes on that I slept in, I have managed to read many more pages of the fabulous book I am reading, I have not even stepped out of the house to get the paper, I have had enough sleep, and I am thinking I *might* be able to survive the second week of school.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I like you, Joe Corbi. But just as a friend.
This one's going to be short and sweet. You all know about the Joe Corbi "affair." I'm back to tell you - we remain friends. I do, however, have three suggestions for Joe that I think will increase his profits (not really, but I bet people would just like him more). I have titled my list
1. Show all of your items in your glossy next to a Coke can (or a beer can since most moms feel the urge to drink a cold one when it comes to fund raising). Now, that is not really my idea but a good friends' idea. Sadly, she does not have a blog, so I will just have to steal her idea for my blog. Thank you, friend! Because I really care about you, Joe, I am going to tell you why this would be so helpful. When I was picking up my items I was frantically searching for what I had ordered (the rest of the people be damned) and I couldn't see my Cheesecake Sampler (which I had considered sampling on the way home). Turns out it was right in front of my eyes. Problem was I was looking for a huge box like the one in the glossy. The box I had was teeny tiny. I guess that's why you call it a Sampler? Needless to say, it wasn't sampled on the way home - it was eaten.
2. Consider a little higher quality for your student fund raising rewards. Now, I must say I am delighted beyond belief to now have seen a &*%$ Cell Phone Radio with Light. But, I am positively dreading the day (later this weekend or tonight) when it breaks. It is CHEAP like a chicken clucking, Joe. The kind of sad part about that is that I think Boy Child had to sell like 1,546 items to get it. Just seems to me like you could give back a little.
3. Do not make substitutions. Now, if you read my open letter to you, Joe I hope you got a feel for how hard it is to sell this stuff to good hard working Americans. And, I also hope you understand that I have to look these people in the eyes every morning when we are leaving for our days. So, when they order the Ham and Cheese Calzones and actually get the Philly Cheesesteak Sandwiches this is a Big Deal. It just doesn't sit right with any of us. Please, Joe. Do whatever you have to do - hire more help in the kitchen (Lord knows the cheesecake sampler maker peeps have a little free time). Help me keep the few neighbors I have that still will speak to me.
That's it. I promised short and sweet and I have delivered. My time with Joe has come to an end, but I like to think we are still friends. It's been a good ride overall and I look forward to our meeting sometime next year (no, I don't really but that sounded good on my blog).
Have a great weekend, friends. Know that I will be eating my cinnamon rolls and listening (kind of) to crying about thestupid cell phone thingie breaking and the 18" pencil not really writing and WHY CAN'T WE GET IN A BOX WITH MONEY FLYING AROUND??? Peace.
My Suggestions to Joe Corbi
1. Show all of your items in your glossy next to a Coke can (or a beer can since most moms feel the urge to drink a cold one when it comes to fund raising). Now, that is not really my idea but a good friends' idea. Sadly, she does not have a blog, so I will just have to steal her idea for my blog. Thank you, friend! Because I really care about you, Joe, I am going to tell you why this would be so helpful. When I was picking up my items I was frantically searching for what I had ordered (the rest of the people be damned) and I couldn't see my Cheesecake Sampler (which I had considered sampling on the way home). Turns out it was right in front of my eyes. Problem was I was looking for a huge box like the one in the glossy. The box I had was teeny tiny. I guess that's why you call it a Sampler? Needless to say, it wasn't sampled on the way home - it was eaten.
2. Consider a little higher quality for your student fund raising rewards. Now, I must say I am delighted beyond belief to now have seen a &*%$ Cell Phone Radio with Light. But, I am positively dreading the day (later this weekend or tonight) when it breaks. It is CHEAP like a chicken clucking, Joe. The kind of sad part about that is that I think Boy Child had to sell like 1,546 items to get it. Just seems to me like you could give back a little.
3. Do not make substitutions. Now, if you read my open letter to you, Joe I hope you got a feel for how hard it is to sell this stuff to good hard working Americans. And, I also hope you understand that I have to look these people in the eyes every morning when we are leaving for our days. So, when they order the Ham and Cheese Calzones and actually get the Philly Cheesesteak Sandwiches this is a Big Deal. It just doesn't sit right with any of us. Please, Joe. Do whatever you have to do - hire more help in the kitchen (Lord knows the cheesecake sampler maker peeps have a little free time). Help me keep the few neighbors I have that still will speak to me.
That's it. I promised short and sweet and I have delivered. My time with Joe has come to an end, but I like to think we are still friends. It's been a good ride overall and I look forward to our meeting sometime next year (no, I don't really but that sounded good on my blog).
Have a great weekend, friends. Know that I will be eating my cinnamon rolls and listening (kind of) to crying about the
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Open Letter to Joe Corbi
Dear Joe Corbi (assuming you are a real person),
I am the harried mother of four (three of them are actual public school fund raising kids), and I would just like to tell you: 1. I hate fund raising. 2. I would like you to publish the winners of the flat screen TVs (seriously, who doesn't already have a flat screen TV - our family excluded) and mini-fridges. And, 3. I was also wondering if you could lower your expectations a little for next year.
I'll try to explain my situation to you by way of some history and a time-line and I hope you will understand.
At the end of last school year the kids' school PTA decided it would be more financially advantageous to "get out the pleading early" before all the other schools do. So, we got our fund raising packets last Friday. Now, I will preface this letter by saying: I get it. I understand the reasoning behind fund raising. I support our schools. And, I truly do appreciate the PTA. That being said, fund raising and the prizes for fund raising make me want to try on teeny tiny bathing suits when I am bloated, and with four kids, lots of mirrors, and bad lighting. And, frankly, sir - I'd like you to go with us (don't worry - you don't actually have to enter the dressing room with me - although if we don't get our flat screen TV or at least our mini-fridge I might ask you to.)
Here's my timeline to give you an insight into what a mother of four (three of them actually in public school) goes through with fund raising every year (two times a year if we're lucky!). Just in case you never had friends or kids (just sayin' - it kinda seems like you've never actually had either).
Friday - The kids get in the car truly giddy and talking in high pitched voices upon receiving their fund raising packets (I am assuming right before lining up to be released so as "not to forget to tell mom the Good News" - and yes, our kids do look like Jehovah Witnesses walking around our neighborhood soliciting). Here is just a sampling of what they were screeching,
Girl - MOM, DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD WIN A FLAT SCREEN TV??????? WE CAN FINALLY GET A FLAT SCREEN TV???????????? FOR SELLING!!!!!!!!!!! GOSH WE'RE LUCKY!!!!!!!!
Boy - MOM, ANOTHER CHOICE IS A MINI-FRIDGE. IT'S JUST WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED. MOM, DID YOU KNOW I ALWAYS WANTED A TINY FRIDGE? AFTER I GET ONE, CAN YOU LET ME EAT UPSTAIRS?
Girl 2 - MOM, DID YOU KNOW THEY ARE SELLING LOTS OF STUFF, BUT GUMMY WORMS, TOO???? DID YOU KNOW I LIKE, NO LOVE, GUMMY WORMS????"
Later Friday - After we got home and they dumped all the trip-licate sheets of order forms, multiple catalogs, Parent Instructions, Helpful Hints for Selling, and Deadlines You Don't Want to Forget (thank you, Joe, for being so thorough) TIMES THREE on my kitchen table, here is a sampling of what they were saying in mostly normal voices, "Okay, we need to just sell 200 + items....Wait, mom is that two hundred or two thousand? ...to get the flat screen TV. Hmm. Well, maybe I just want the iTouch." "Mom, Kaitlyn's mom said she was going to take her packet to work with her and sell all of Kaitlyn's stuff. Can you do that? Wait. Mom, do you work?" "Mom, it says here the gummy worms cost $140.00. Or is that $14.00? Either way it seems like a deal to me." "Can we play video games now that we were good our first week back to school?"
Sometime Saturday - My oldest spent a little more time researching the prizes being offered by your company. He figured out (or read) that he needed to sell 75 items to get the coveted mini-fridge. He then told his sister she needed to sell 200 items to get a flat screen TV. This is a sampling of their pitiful conversation (spoken in hushed voices).
Boy - S., I don't think you'll be able to get a TV because I am not sure mom and dad even know 200 people.
Girl - Well, I'm gonna try.
Boy - Yeah, I'm still gonna try for my fridge. Let's divide up the people we know that we usually sell to. (They proceeded to divide up our ill-fated neighbors and left no neighbors for Girl 2. This caused a huge fight later. I will spare you the details.) We better start selling now.
In a flurry of activity (kind of resembling Christmas) catalogs were delivered Saturday to a spattering of neighbors (I am sure our neighbors love us even more than they did before and let me tell you - with four kids frequently loud, naked, and throwing balls, bullets, candy wrappers, etc. in other people's yards - we are loved in this neighborhood). Meanwhile, I started to review the information and figure out what my kids actually had a chance (in Hell) to "earn."
Saturday evening - I told all the kids how fabulous it would be to earn a 13" Loop Pencil. Here's what I sounded like (in a loud, excited voice), "Hey guys! Don't you want a 13" LOOP PENCIL? How cool is THAT? You need to sell 1-3 items. I think we can do that! That's THREE ITEMS TOTAL. I am SURE we can do that. Let's all count on a LOOP PENCIL. Shall we?"
Sunday - Joe, I am not sure where you live. But, we live in South Texas. We are having Extreme Weather and a Stage Three Drought right now. In case you are not familiar with heat: Basically, we could cook all the food you are selling on our driveway and your undies stick and slick right to your body each time you step out on your front porch. IT'S HOT. So, Sunday afternoon when all my kids decided to go hard core, retrieve their catalogs, place some orders, and get to the business of winning the flat screen TV, I really wish you could have been here. But, you weren't. So I had to sit outside and monitor their selling. It was positively joyful. They came home sweaty, thirsty and walking slowly, but with orders. Three each!
Monday evening - They had a group meeting to reassess what they might be able to win. Again, sample conversation (in somewhat defeated voices).
Boy - Well, it looks like I can't get my fridge. I am totally asking for one for Christmas. But, I am still trying for the Cell Phone Scan Radio with Light.
Girl - Yeah. I am not too sure now about the flat screen. What IS the Cell Phone thing?
Boy - I am not sure. I will ask mom.
Girl 2 - I am still asking mom to order the gummy worms. That's really all I want. And, I guess I'll take the Cell Phone thing if it has apps.
Yesterday - All of them collectively asked me, "Mom, what's a Cell Phone Scan Radio with Light?"
So, Joe, here I will digress a little and ask you, "What the %$*& is a Cell Phone Scan Radio with Light???"
Last night we were sitting outside melting slowly and monitoring orders and soliciting. Gradually my three children came back. Hot and sweaty. Here is how it went.
Boy - Mom, do you know anymore people? Do you have anymore friends?
Girl - Are we gonna get the flat screen, mom? Seriously? I was thinking we could put all our orders together? But, if we're not gonna get it, just tell us now.
Girl 2 - Mom, are you gonna ever write down the gummy worm order?
Boy - Are we gonna get to go to the Cookie Party? Do we really even want to? 'Cuz it's hot and I'm sick of selling. Also, can you really win money in that box you go in and all the money whirls around? I'm beginning to think this stuff is just kind of a scam. I am kind of all for straight donations to the school now.
Me - We are not going to get the flat screen. I do not have anymore friends. I am not ordering the gummy worms. My underwear is stuck to my rear and we need to go inside. I am writing Joe Corbi a letter tomorrow and I suggest you ask Kaitlyn to let you know how the Cookie Party goes. Time for bath!
So, Joe that's all I got. I hope you understand how I feel right now and why I was compelled to write to you. You seem like a great guy and God knows I love your cinnamon rolls, but seriously 200 items??? Next year can you remember a few things before making your glossy? We (or as I like to think of us - Average Joe American Family) are not popular (we are too busy having our kids fund raise to make more friends to buy our fund raisingcrap stuff), we will probably live in the desert by then, and still probably won't have a flat screen. So, for US, to make it more fun for US, can you put some cool prizes in there? And please, please, please publish your winners. I want my kids to know that there really are winners. There really are people with 200+ friends. This isn't just a scam.
Thanks, Joe! I appreciate it. And, while you're at it, a box with whirling money for parents just because would be great, too. :o)
Feeling the love,
Mother of Four (three of them being actual students)
I am the harried mother of four (three of them are actual public school fund raising kids), and I would just like to tell you: 1. I hate fund raising. 2. I would like you to publish the winners of the flat screen TVs (seriously, who doesn't already have a flat screen TV - our family excluded) and mini-fridges. And, 3. I was also wondering if you could lower your expectations a little for next year.
I'll try to explain my situation to you by way of some history and a time-line and I hope you will understand.
At the end of last school year the kids' school PTA decided it would be more financially advantageous to "get out the pleading early" before all the other schools do. So, we got our fund raising packets last Friday. Now, I will preface this letter by saying: I get it. I understand the reasoning behind fund raising. I support our schools. And, I truly do appreciate the PTA. That being said, fund raising and the prizes for fund raising make me want to try on teeny tiny bathing suits when I am bloated, and with four kids, lots of mirrors, and bad lighting. And, frankly, sir - I'd like you to go with us (don't worry - you don't actually have to enter the dressing room with me - although if we don't get our flat screen TV or at least our mini-fridge I might ask you to.)
Here's my timeline to give you an insight into what a mother of four (three of them actually in public school) goes through with fund raising every year (two times a year if we're lucky!). Just in case you never had friends or kids (just sayin' - it kinda seems like you've never actually had either).
Friday - The kids get in the car truly giddy and talking in high pitched voices upon receiving their fund raising packets (I am assuming right before lining up to be released so as "not to forget to tell mom the Good News" - and yes, our kids do look like Jehovah Witnesses walking around our neighborhood soliciting). Here is just a sampling of what they were screeching,
Girl - MOM, DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD WIN A FLAT SCREEN TV??????? WE CAN FINALLY GET A FLAT SCREEN TV???????????? FOR SELLING!!!!!!!!!!! GOSH WE'RE LUCKY!!!!!!!!
Boy - MOM, ANOTHER CHOICE IS A MINI-FRIDGE. IT'S JUST WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED. MOM, DID YOU KNOW I ALWAYS WANTED A TINY FRIDGE? AFTER I GET ONE, CAN YOU LET ME EAT UPSTAIRS?
Girl 2 - MOM, DID YOU KNOW THEY ARE SELLING LOTS OF STUFF, BUT GUMMY WORMS, TOO???? DID YOU KNOW I LIKE, NO LOVE, GUMMY WORMS????"
Later Friday - After we got home and they dumped all the trip-licate sheets of order forms, multiple catalogs, Parent Instructions, Helpful Hints for Selling, and Deadlines You Don't Want to Forget (thank you, Joe, for being so thorough) TIMES THREE on my kitchen table, here is a sampling of what they were saying in mostly normal voices, "Okay, we need to just sell 200 + items....Wait, mom is that two hundred or two thousand? ...to get the flat screen TV. Hmm. Well, maybe I just want the iTouch." "Mom, Kaitlyn's mom said she was going to take her packet to work with her and sell all of Kaitlyn's stuff. Can you do that? Wait. Mom, do you work?" "Mom, it says here the gummy worms cost $140.00. Or is that $14.00? Either way it seems like a deal to me." "Can we play video games now that we were good our first week back to school?"
Sometime Saturday - My oldest spent a little more time researching the prizes being offered by your company. He figured out (or read) that he needed to sell 75 items to get the coveted mini-fridge. He then told his sister she needed to sell 200 items to get a flat screen TV. This is a sampling of their pitiful conversation (spoken in hushed voices).
Boy - S., I don't think you'll be able to get a TV because I am not sure mom and dad even know 200 people.
Girl - Well, I'm gonna try.
Boy - Yeah, I'm still gonna try for my fridge. Let's divide up the people we know that we usually sell to. (They proceeded to divide up our ill-fated neighbors and left no neighbors for Girl 2. This caused a huge fight later. I will spare you the details.) We better start selling now.
In a flurry of activity (kind of resembling Christmas) catalogs were delivered Saturday to a spattering of neighbors (I am sure our neighbors love us even more than they did before and let me tell you - with four kids frequently loud, naked, and throwing balls, bullets, candy wrappers, etc. in other people's yards - we are loved in this neighborhood). Meanwhile, I started to review the information and figure out what my kids actually had a chance (in Hell) to "earn."
Saturday evening - I told all the kids how fabulous it would be to earn a 13" Loop Pencil. Here's what I sounded like (in a loud, excited voice), "Hey guys! Don't you want a 13" LOOP PENCIL? How cool is THAT? You need to sell 1-3 items. I think we can do that! That's THREE ITEMS TOTAL. I am SURE we can do that. Let's all count on a LOOP PENCIL. Shall we?"
Sunday - Joe, I am not sure where you live. But, we live in South Texas. We are having Extreme Weather and a Stage Three Drought right now. In case you are not familiar with heat: Basically, we could cook all the food you are selling on our driveway and your undies stick and slick right to your body each time you step out on your front porch. IT'S HOT. So, Sunday afternoon when all my kids decided to go hard core, retrieve their catalogs, place some orders, and get to the business of winning the flat screen TV, I really wish you could have been here. But, you weren't. So I had to sit outside and monitor their selling. It was positively joyful. They came home sweaty, thirsty and walking slowly, but with orders. Three each!
Monday evening - They had a group meeting to reassess what they might be able to win. Again, sample conversation (in somewhat defeated voices).
Boy - Well, it looks like I can't get my fridge. I am totally asking for one for Christmas. But, I am still trying for the Cell Phone Scan Radio with Light.
Girl - Yeah. I am not too sure now about the flat screen. What IS the Cell Phone thing?
Boy - I am not sure. I will ask mom.
Girl 2 - I am still asking mom to order the gummy worms. That's really all I want. And, I guess I'll take the Cell Phone thing if it has apps.
Yesterday - All of them collectively asked me, "Mom, what's a Cell Phone Scan Radio with Light?"
So, Joe, here I will digress a little and ask you, "What the %$*& is a Cell Phone Scan Radio with Light???"
Last night we were sitting outside melting slowly and monitoring orders and soliciting. Gradually my three children came back. Hot and sweaty. Here is how it went.
Boy - Mom, do you know anymore people? Do you have anymore friends?
Girl - Are we gonna get the flat screen, mom? Seriously? I was thinking we could put all our orders together? But, if we're not gonna get it, just tell us now.
Girl 2 - Mom, are you gonna ever write down the gummy worm order?
Boy - Are we gonna get to go to the Cookie Party? Do we really even want to? 'Cuz it's hot and I'm sick of selling. Also, can you really win money in that box you go in and all the money whirls around? I'm beginning to think this stuff is just kind of a scam. I am kind of all for straight donations to the school now.
Me - We are not going to get the flat screen. I do not have anymore friends. I am not ordering the gummy worms. My underwear is stuck to my rear and we need to go inside. I am writing Joe Corbi a letter tomorrow and I suggest you ask Kaitlyn to let you know how the Cookie Party goes. Time for bath!
So, Joe that's all I got. I hope you understand how I feel right now and why I was compelled to write to you. You seem like a great guy and God knows I love your cinnamon rolls, but seriously 200 items??? Next year can you remember a few things before making your glossy? We (or as I like to think of us - Average Joe American Family) are not popular (we are too busy having our kids fund raise to make more friends to buy our fund raising
Thanks, Joe! I appreciate it. And, while you're at it, a box with whirling money for parents just because would be great, too. :o)
Feeling the love,
Mother of Four (three of them being actual students)
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