Friday, April 12, 2013

What to do if you are abducted by aliens.

Boy child this morning in the Yukon Cornelius:  Mom, I know the number to call if you are abducted by aliens.

Me:  Really?

Boy:  Yeah.  It's xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Me:  Wouldn't it be more helpful to memorize something you could actually use if you were in trouble?  Like, for example, my cell?

Boy:  Well, I already know your cell and seriously, mom.  What are you talking about???  You are in trouble if you are being abducted by aliens!  Duh!

Me:  Where did you get this number?

Boy:  Oh, I'm reading this book about UFO sightings and abductions and stuff and in the back they have all these resources like who to call and websites to research when it happens.

Me:  Well, I think that's where your confusion might be.  The number in the back of the book is probably to call after you've experienced an abduction or seen a UFO.  Y'know to report it?  Not while you're actually experiencing your abduction.

Boy:  Well, yeah.  Duh.  While you are being abducted you need to call 911, mom.

Me:  Oh.  And how do you think that's going to go over, bub?  911 responder:  Sir, what's your emergency?  You:  I'm being abducted by aliens.  Seriously, bub?  They *might* think you are half cracked.

Boy:  Well, mom.  I don't care what they think!  I'm telling you what to do if you are abducted by aliens.  Yeesh.  You should thank me.

Me:  Thank you.



That's too perfect. Be sure to document this one for the later years. You'll really enjoy telling this one in the years to come!!

Shannon said...

OMG I love that boy, it's good to be prepared for alien abductions.

Monica said...

@donna - yeah, he says some pretty crazy stuff that i have thoroughly documented. ;o) @shannon - as the great jamie says - he was my favorite today.

Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous said...

LOL! Well, I suppose it's good to have a plan, just incase.

Monica said...

@kellie - i guess? even if your plan might land you in the loony bin. ;o) he IS my kid afterall.

literatelibran said...

Hysterical! It's amazing how boys think, isn't it?

Monica said...

@literatelibran - in one short word: yes. ;o) thanks for the read and comment. :o)

Anonymous said...

I'm very upset that you just put a bunch of x's. Now what am I supposed to do if an alien yanks me into the trunk of his UFO?!!!!

Monica said...

@whatimeant2say - how 'bout if i give you my cell, you call me, i call 911, and they call the secret number? surely NO ONE will think we are cra-cra.

Nomads By Nature said...

I needed this smile! On the side, I have no idea what to do if I am abducted by aliens while overseas, and now that I am thinking about such an important? question (love that kid of yours!)I am imagining what our go-to response is at post - go to the radios, contact the Embassy (i.e. call in the Marines) Both options would have me easily in your cra-cra category. Please ask your child if he has any information about what to do if you are out of the country and need this specific line of help.

Monica said...

@nomads - he was my favorite that day. hands down. in fact, he pretty much had me hook, line, and sinker for the entire week he spent talking about alien abductions. i think i agreed to take him to white sands. wait. is it white sands?