Boy child this morning in the Yukon Cornelius: Mom, I know the number to call if you are abducted by aliens.
Boy: Yeah. It's xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Me: Wouldn't it be more helpful to memorize something you could actually use if you were in trouble? Like, for example, my cell?
Boy: Well, I already know your cell and seriously, mom. What are you talking about??? You are in trouble if you are being abducted by aliens! Duh!
Me: Where did you get this number?
Boy: Oh, I'm reading this book about UFO sightings and abductions and stuff and in the back they have all these resources like who to call and websites to research when it happens.
Me: Well, I think that's where your confusion might be. The number in the back of the book is probably to call after you've experienced an abduction or seen a UFO. Y'know to report it? Not while you're actually experiencing your abduction.
Boy: Well, yeah. Duh. While you are being abducted you need to call 911, mom.
Me: Oh. And how do you think that's going to go over, bub? 911 responder: Sir, what's your emergency? You: I'm being abducted by aliens. Seriously, bub? They *might* think you are half cracked.
Boy: Well, mom. I don't care what they think! I'm telling you what to do if you are abducted by aliens. Yeesh. You should thank me.
Me: Thank you.