some of my more notable traits

years ago when the kids were little i read in some parenting book that to encourage your kids to appreciate and truly care for each other it is sometimes helpful to do activities to encourage love.  of course, i tried them all and experienced moderate success.  my kids are older now and they still fight like crazy people, but i'd like to think that somewhere in their hearts they do love each other.  (this is certainly questionable and up for debate.)

so, we used to do this activity where we said things we loved about each other.  a variation of this activity that the kids started doing lately is to say things about each other that they wish they had for themselves.  they are usually physical traits (three of my four kids are quite vain), but if i am within hearing distance i try to encourage more altruistic traits like, y'know, "i love your enthusiasm for life," "i love your calm nature in the face of extreme stress."  but, usually they just continue with, "i love your cheekbones.  i really wish i had them."  "i love the number of instagram followers you have."  (because, y'know, they're teenagers, not humanitarians.)

the other day, while the four of them were playing the "game," girl 2 said, "oh my god!  i know!  let's have mom play with us!  let's all think of traits of mom's we'd love!!!"

*crickets*

after a good two minutes of complete silence, girl 1 (the one child who is not vain and who is actually quite profound), said, "well, i'd have to say, and this might sound really shallow, if i had to have one of mom's traits, i'd really love her hairlessness."

happy mother's day!  i hope it was........waxed.

You dropped a bomb on me, baby.

It's that time again.  Pre-Mother's Day Days wherein you discreetly drop hints about what you want like the dog discreetly drops fart bombs while he's presumably watching TV.

I'm making it easy this year and buying all my presents early.  Then I am going to wrap them in my favorite wrapping paper (probably the comics), put big Christmas bows on them and make tags that say, "To the best mom in the whole world.  We love you!"  Also, I might misspell some words just to add to the authenticity.

Here's what I'm getting so far:

1.  A good sports bra/s.  Now, I have needed some new sports bras for a while (sorry if that's TMI), but one recent incident spurred me into action.  A friend of mine was on TV while running.  Yes, you read that correctly.  TV news cameras filmed her while she was running - pushing her three? kids in a STROLLER (yeah, she's kind of like superwoman).  And, the next day instead of basking in the glory of her 15 seconds of fame her comment to a few of us was, "Man, I need a better sports bra."  I laughed pretty hard at that, but then I got serious and kind of freaked out.  What if I am filmed sometime soon running???  What would it be like???  It would be like (or, would have been like, since I've already started using my new bras - you're welcome) the song, "Do your ears hang low?"  Not pretty.

2.  A purse.  I think I've gotten a purse every Mother's Day since I became a mother.  That would add up to 11 purses if I bought the $400 kind, but since I don't it adds up to one purse.  But, it's cute:



www.squidoo.com  I don't think that's the one I actually got, but close enough and I'm too lazy to go take a photo of mine.

3.  I am getting a trip.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I am going on a trip.  By myself.  Without children. 

"Aw," you ask, "How is that for Mother's Day?" 

I know.  It's like when you secretly wish that for Mother's Day you could spend the day completely alone, right?  Who does that???  (Probably some evil people.  I've certainly never thought that.)  Okay.  So, my trip really isn't for Mother's Day, but kinda.  My niece over at Fit Foodies. Healthy Life. is tying the knot at this gorgeous place. 

Scroll through till you see the gal in the tub.  That's gonna be me.  Don't worry - I won't photograph myself....well, I might.  But, I won't post about it....unless I do.  I'll warn you first, though, so you can get ready to poke your eyes out with sharp sticks. 

Hubby gets to stay home with our four kids.  (WHEEEEE!  He's excited.)  I was careful to tell him, "It's okay, babe.  It's a round trip ticket."

4.  Another bathing suit.  So, remember last year?  When I almost proposed to the bathing suit saleswoman after she saw me naked?  Well, funny thing.  She gave me a little confidence in the area of shopping for bathing suits.  Possibly a little too much because now I really want one of these suits with "high waisted knickers." 


Apparently confidence when gotten at the hands of a blunt bathing suit saleswoman is dangerous.

Don't worry.  I'm waiting on this Mother's Day gift because 1.  I still have my winter weight and may keep it on through the summer, and 2.  These suits are not ruched in the bust, nor slimming in the waist, so I clearly would not be following her suit advice to me.

5.  Popcornopolis.  This may be a gateway drug, you guys.  Oh my GAWD.  My family and I are popcorn junkies.  If popcorn was illegal, we would all live in the pokey.  Now, I must confess, I've pretty much eaten all of this present, so the chance that it actually gets wrapped and given to me is slim to none (unlike my waistline after consuming it).  I am a bit of a popcorn snob if I've never told you guys.  I abhor microwave popcorn.  I only eat homemade or gourmet.  Recently we got a huge tin of this stuff which I thought was pretty great stuff.  But, I gotta tell you guys, Popcornopolis is DELICIOUS and way better.  I am deeply in love.  AND, I was researching important stuff on Pinterest last night and I found out there is an actual store in Austin.  So, since I already ate all of my present I told hubby and the kids that they are gonna take me there for Mother's Day!  (I know they're excited.)

That's it for now.  I'm sure I'll think of some more stuff I can't live without.  (Depending on their budget maybe a boob job to go with my new bras is in order?)  Happy Pre-Mother's Day Days!

Healthy Diet and Exercise, or EAT THE CAKE FIRST!

As many of you know, I am going through a crazy-a$$ midlife crisis which at any given moment can range in depth and proportion but for the most part is centered around, "I need to workout like a mad and crazy woman so that I can have a healthy body which may not look great, but that down deep is muscled and toned, and I need to change my eating habits from things that taste great to things that are good-for-you."

I said this is a "mid-life crisis" which I will clarify by saying:
1. I am not even sure what that means, and
2. I am realizing as the days pass that it is irrational on some levels. 

Why?  Nothing profound and requiring years of therapy.  It is quite simply difficult to understand and irrational - because I have four kids.

Yesterday:  Case in Point

5:40 - Alarm rang
6:00 - I was up.  Head ached from lack of sleep and no IV for my coffee.
6:45 - Peeps were up, breakfast was underway, lunches were being packed.
7:15 - We headed out the door a full 15 minutes early because I was dreaming of a pre-ZOO FIELD TRIP WITH MY NINE YEAR OLD BOY workout.  HUH?  Yeah, I know.  Irrational on some level.
7:30 - I was back home and promptly popped in the Reebok girl with whom I planned on "stepping" for 35 minutes.
7:30 - 8:00 - I stepped, got sweaty, stopped (yes, stopped) a few times to help a two year old pee and poop, I thought about the million things that had to be done before I could drop said two year old off at MDO and get on to the field trip.
8:00 - I said good-bye to my stepping friend early because I was then feeling a little frantic about what had to be done.  I promised myself that AFTER the zoo field trip when I was fresh and perky (???) I would finish my workout or do an additional workout with KK (can you see irrationality rearing its ugly head?).
8:00 - 8:50 - I ate a bowl of healthy oatmeal and a banana, fixed a healthy lunch for myself for the zoo (two homemade California rolls, one two day old apple, water, and trail mix with just a little dark chocolate in it), fixed "lunch" for my two year old who never eats anything anyway, got her dressed, cleaned the kitchen, put in a load of laundry, brushed and fixed her hair, showered, got dressed, packed everything twice after the two year old was helping me and unpacked it all.
9:00 - I was on my way to the zoo.
10:00 - I ate the trail mix because I was starving.
10:45 - I ate the rest of my son's heavily buttered and salted popcorn to "lighten my load" because popcorn is heavy.
11:30 - We broke for lunch and I ate the California rolls.  Note to self:  these are only yummy when they are fresh.  And I attempted to eat the apple which was mealy.
11:30 - 1:30 - I walked around the zoo and resisted the urge to buy an ice cream.
2:00 - 2:30 - I picked up baby, did a frantic thing at home that we like to call, "get-kids'-stuff-ready-for-piano-lessons-prep-for-a-quick-yet-healthy-dinner-which-has-presumably-been-planned-load-up-the-Yukon-and-take-off!"
2:50 - My two girl children bounded into the Yukon with Mother's Day Cakes that they had made at school.  I am pretty sure that's when my mouth started to water and I realized I was starving.
2:50 - 5:45 - Kids complained about no snack, they completed their piano lessons, and I tried to focus while dreaming of how I could justify eating cake for dinner AND eating the Mother's Day cakes four days before Mother's Day.
5:50 - Hubby called and asked what was for dinner.  I said, "Biscuits?    And........Mother's Day Cakes?"
6:00 - 6:20 -  We arrived home to an unplanned dinner.  Chaos ensued.  Backpacks flew, kids rushed to "talk" to dad, I frantically heated up a serious modge-podge of leftovers (including biscuits), and we unwrapped and examined both cakes.  We all dutifully ooed and ahed over the cakes.
6:25 - I got out a fork.

All my kids exclaimed, "MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"

I quietly said, "I am eating the cake."

All my kids shouted, "YOU HAVEN'T EATEN DINNER AND IT'S FOR MOTHER'S DAY???"

I quietly said, "It's MY cake and if you be quiet I will give you some before your dinner, too."

Silence ensued, I ate my cake and there went my healthy diet.

Later when all the peeps were in bed, hubby was at the gym and I was WAY too exhausted to workout with KK or the Reebok girl.  I blog-surfed and was in bed by 10:30. 

And that is how the exercise went.

Healthy day, my friends.  Cake is on the menu for breakfast this morning and may just turn into lunch.  :o)