Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Little Witch. Indeed.

Happy Halloween, guys!  I miss you!

I got this gem from The Bloggess' s post today.  If you don't read her, you should.  This video kind of says it all. 

Happy hauntings!

Friday, October 11, 2013

Short list.

1.  It's October 11 and I am still trying to decide on a costume.

2.  Despite the pile of prints, the uncertainty of the future, the fact that Boy Child has developed a high schooler's attitude while just starting middle school, and my ridiculously early "winter" weight gain, I am trying to be fully in the Spirit (the Halloween Spirit).

3.  We are trying to spend money only on "essentials" right now due to some business dealings we will have in the near future.  I am trying to convince hubby that this crazy person at Spirit Halloween  (for the low, low price of $99) is an "essential."

4.  Why can't money grow on trees?

5.  Would it be weird to ask hubby for this guy for Christmas? 

6.  I listened to my first book on tape.  It was Water For Elephants which I have been trying to read since 2006.  I know I'm late to the party - but it is a fabulous book.  If you haven't read it - do it as soon as possible.  But, here's the thing.  Listening to any book on tape (not like in a car on a cross-country trip) would probably make me feel old.  This particular book made me feel ancient.  (And blind.)

7.  Having children much later in life is not without its awkward embarrassments.  Every time I have been up to the middle school I see parents that I mistake for students.  So, I can only imagine they are mistaking me for the grandparent?  (Don't answer that.)

8.  I felt mildly successful that I had convinced my entire family to go scary for Halloween this year.  It's always been my dream, but it's never happened before.  Partly because it's difficult (and possibly traumatizing?) to convince a three and then four year old that she wants to be a zombie and not a princess.  But, now that she's FIVE she totally consented to being a zombie witch.  I'm not even sure what that is, but when she asked me today if her face could be painted pink instead of white with blood (which is what I told her it would be) I said, "Um.  No." 

9.  After all my diligence and persuasion in convincing my whole family to go scary, my kids have been singing this incessantly for about two weeks.  Now I kinda want our family to be this for Halloween:  

Damn the internet for trying to screw with my dreams.

10.  Since Halloween is my favorite holiday and our dogpuppy aims to contradict me every chance he gets, it totally figures that he's scared of Halloween decorations.  I have to drag him by this guy

Just a dead guy with his head in his hands.  No big.

to take him on a run everyday and when I do he first looks at me like this:

"Mother!  Save me from the dead guy!  Oh, and I HATE HALLOWEEN!"

And then quickly crosses behind me in order to get as far away from the dead guy as possible.  As much as I am beginning to love this dog if he can't learn to love Halloween and all it's gore soon, he may have to move out.

Keep your spirits up guys and try not to eat all the candy before Halloween.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

If you are in front of the bus, do not turn right (or something like that).

Some signs are jacked up, right?  I mean driving is pretty simple, but some signs are just nuts.

Well, when I read, "NO RIGHT TURN IN FRONT OF THE BUS," which is the sign that is on the back of every city bus in our fine city, I have always figured that's pretty straightforward. 

Until this.

Boy Child (in the Yukon Cornelius - behind a city bus):  Mom, I've never understood that sign, "NO RIGHT TURN IN FRONT OF THE BUS."

Me:  What's not to understand?  You can't turn right in front of the bus.

Boy Child:  I get that.  But, why?

Me:  Um.  Duh.  Because the bus will smack you?

Boy Child:  Huh?


Boy Child:  How?  I don't get that.

Me:  (While driving because it's safe to take both hands off the wheel if you are trying to illustrate a dangerous driving technique with your hands...........while driving.)  Okay.  Look.  Pretend my left hand is our truck and my right hand is the bus.  So, here we are driving and I go to make a right turn in front of the bus.  And, BAM.  The bus smacks me.  Now do you get it?

Boy Child:  OOOOOOOOOOOH!  I have always thought that NO RIGHT TURN IN FRONT OF THE BUS meant that if you were driving in front of the bus you could never make a right turn.  Get it?  And like how would you ever be able to get where you were going?  Y'know like pretend my left hand is us..............

Me:  I get it.  But if that were the scenario how would you even be able to read the sign.

Boy Child:  Good point.
photo courtesy: