Monday, April 29, 2013

Did my family buy a zoo?

So, it's been awhile since I've posted.  It's mainly because I've been depressed, eating too much while trying to lose weight, working, and trying to keep up with my kids.  But, this morning on my run I composed a post about social awkwardness (of course) that I thought was good and I planned on writing it today after I got home from work.

Then, I got home from my run, glanced over at the side of my house and this was there:
That's TRASH that was inside the can last night.  Damnit.
If you live nearby, you might have heard the obscenities I screamed.

We have a dog now (God love us) and so the trash can really smells like $hit.  So, a few weeks ago (after nagging Boy Child for about a week) I took it upon myself to clean the trash can.  (And I think you know how I feel about this - it's right there with cleaning the vacuum.  These tasks just make me go, "What the WHAT?") 

So, of course, the fu*cking raccoons came back.  They were waiting for me to do this. They smelled a clean trash can with food trash in it and they went nuts.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering - my brushes with wildlife this past week have included this guy
Yeah.  That's a coral snake that Girl 1 found hanging out.  He's dead now.

and this gal.

That's a peahen (female peacock...duh).  (I always have called them female peacocks because I am a dork.)

Am I Dr. Dolittle?  Because it kinda feels like it.


Nomads By Nature said...

Put up a sign and start charging admission. Maybe you can get enough for your first child's college dorm fees. :)

Monica said...

i think hubby was going to do the "human waste" thing again last night. plus i put a big a$$ rock on the can in the hopes that they are weak. it poured down rain last night, so i may not see the results until tomorrow night.

jamiew said...

i am going to start some serious negotiations with Animal Planet (FYI: for the anti-cable having peeps, that's a cable channel).
this gift of yours needs to be working for you. ($$$ and by you, i mean me)

Shannon said...

Ok ICKKY to the raccoon, because i know hoe much of a mess they make, and glad the snake is dead (although if you tell Colin I said that I will deny it) as to the peahen all I can say is I am sorry because those are flipping loud birds. Hope it goes away soon!

Monica said...

@shannon - do you remember how you schooled ed to the ways of the coral snake??? well, this time he was very careful to place BOTH pieces under a big a$$ rock. ;o) @jamiew - please, please make me some money. reality tv?

Anonymous said...

I think, instead of Dr. DoLITTLE, you are Dr. DoTOOMUCH. You definitely deserve that trip in your latest post!

Monica said...

yeah, the trip is going to be a nice vacation from the raccoons.

Punky Coletta said...

Snake -- scary!! Peacock -- awesome!!!

Monica said...

@punky coletta - agree. the snake was really pretty, but too poisonous to relocate. ;o)

WeezaFish said...

Oh lordy, lady I wish I couldn't relate but I so can. Our bins are in a cage (anti cat, dog, monkey etc) and there's the army ants in the yard, the bats in the roof and more recently a small puff adder the dog found in a flowerpot by the front door! Live my nature filled life though, I'd never change it :)