1. I had the extreme pleasure of renewing my license that was about 200 years old. In person. With a four year old. Here's a little taste of how that felt: It took three hours and two minutes. It was about 30 degrees that morning (which is around 10 degrees below zero by South Texas standards). One hour and 15 minutes was spent outside the building (because there is a fire code - the audacity - and the building is about as big as my kitchen and so only about 10 people fit in there safely at one time - therefore the other 880 people in line have to wait outside the building). The people are friendly despite working in a time-warp-like atmosphere where all the people you are waiting on look like zombies and feel like they have severe jet lag. I made five new friends (and this is particularly shocking because as my good friends know my motto is, "I don't need any new friends. I don't even like the friends I have."). I think I was so tired and worn down I *may* have agreed to become Facebook friends with all of them. And, despite hubby's precaution as I departed the house to "take a good picture," I looked like I'd been through war when I finally made it to the front of the line. I was faced with the reality once again that age has not been good to me. In my first photo I look fresh, young, and vibrant. In my second photo....well, let's just say - I look haggard. Here's a before/after and I'll let you all be judges.
|The After. (I dressed up for the occasion. It didn't help.)|
|I don't see anyone waiting in line there (in the freezing cold, with a four year old).|
|I know. I kinda want to pet him, too. But, I would also like to live a little longer.|
Anyway. Considering coyotes can eat humans and small puppies I decided to watch Bandit carefully (and Girl 3). Then, WillEC decided to disembowel a skunk and leave the carcass for us under our tree house. That seemed like a little more of a sign that we *might* be in danger. Of dying. So, I stepped up my "basic and rational precautions a little." (Like I decided to smear the blood of my forefathers on all of my doors and carry my crucifix with me at all times.)
Then, yesterday I came home and WillEC was sniffing around my garbage cans. Holy crap I thought. This is the final retribution for all the raccoon shizzle last year. I spent most of yesterday trying to figure out how I was going to step up my game.
Then, this guy crossed my path.
|Yeah, that's an approximately four foot tall wild turkey. Side note: WE DON'T LIVE IN THE WILD. Cheesus H. Christ.|
"I surrender. You guys win. Turns out you are smarter than me. You can have all my garbage for the rest of my life. Just LEAVE ME THE F*CK ALONE."