Friday, January 4, 2013

January 4. Resolutions amended. I hate it when this happens.

In case you missed it, I made some half a$$ resolutions which now need to be amended............three days later.

If you don't click the link - I resolved to not go for seconds when eating.  I am amending this to:  I resolve to not go for thirds.  Or in the case that I go for thirds, I resolve to not go for fourths.  And this resolution is null and void on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.  Damn it.

I also would like to add the following to my short list of resolutions.

1.  I resolve to never buy anything white for any member of my family ever again.  I also resolve to remember this resolution when I am at the store and there is something I want for one of us and the only color left is whitePut it back.

2.  I resolve to not put anything hubby has told me not to put in the disposal in the disposal (first and foremost:  silverware of any kind).  You're welcome, hubby.

3.  I resolve to not lock myself in the bathroom on cold, wet, and long days in which the children have gone absolutely insane and puppy has $hit on the floor.  Or rather - I resolve to not lock myself in the bathroom for longer than one hour or as long as it takes for the children to physically harm themselves and make the puppy wish he had been euthanized - whichever comes first.  You're welcome, puppy.

4.  I resolve to take my frustrations out on cleaning the house rather than draining the bottle.  (Why have I never thought of this one before?  I must be getting smarter as I age.)

5.  I resolve to not waste time on the internets anymore.  Ever.

6.  I resolve never to play any kind of trivia game with my children again until I am considerably smarter (more on this one later after I have regained a smidgen of my dignity).

There.  I think I'm done.  (#7 was:  I resolve to not get a puppy in 2013.  Technically I met that one because we signed the paperwork for our new puppy - who incidentally hates cold and rain and is as equally insane as my own children - on December 29, 2012.  Thank you, me!)

Is it too late to wish me a Happy f*cking New Year!?  If not, maybe you should!


jamiew said...

happy f*cking new year.
yer welcome

Anonymous said...

happy f*cking new year! It sounds like it has started with great promise for you. Let me guess, you can't wait for school to start again?

WeezaFish said...

Happy F*cking New Year! I don't think you're doing SO bad. I mean, at least you have resolutions to review and amend. Me? New Years resolutions? *looks uncomfortable* Is that the phone I hear?

Monica said...

@jamiew - did you know i have been blaming you for heading out on the holidays??? (not really, just kinda). @whatimeant2say - amen and halleluia, sista! it's been a joyous (?) holiday, but i am now a huge fan of public education. :D @weeza - i love you. happy f-ing new year right back atcha! it's gonna be great (as soon as the pee and poop are gone!)!

Monica said...
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