Tuesday, January 1, 2013

My New Year's resolution for you is for you to make New Year's resolutions.

I'm not a huge fan of resolutions, but I make them every year.  I've had moderate success over the years, so that seems reason enough not to stop.

In order to achieve some level of success and be a reliable resolution setter, I've learned to:  1.  Set the bar low.  2.  Make the number small.  3.  And, keep getting back on the wagon until it finally runs me over.

Resolutions 2013.

1.  I resolve to not interrupt any of my children or my husband when they are talking (I will also try not to interrupt anyone else, but see paragraph 2, #1).  I have an annoying habit of always thinking I know what everyone is going to say before they say it (nine times out of ten I am right).  So, I just say it while they are still talking trying to say what they were going to say.  Our conversations are basically one person talking (or a few people talking) and me interrupting (or a few people interrupting).  So, basically nothing ever gets completely said or understood. 

But, it's really hard for me not to interrupt....in fact I may already need to interrupt this resolution to amend it!  Damn it!  I resolve to not interrupt any of my children or my husband when they are talking on Mondays?

2.  I resolve not to go for seconds.  (I'm gonna need some bigger plates.)  My good friend recently lost a good amount of weight and when I asked her about how she did it she said, "I don't go for seconds.  Sometimes my plate is loaded down and somewhat hard to carry, but I do not go for seconds anymore."

I might need to buy these "extra large dinner plates."  And the fork and spoon might need to find my home, too.
3.  I resolve to exercise first thing in the morning.  Lately (since about Halloween) my workouts have gotten later and later.  I find myself spending all morning (and much of the early afternoon) in my workout clothes.  One of two things has been happening:  1.  It gets too late to actually workout and I realize I've spent a good deal of the day answering the questions - Oh, did you just run?  Oh, are you getting ready to run?  or 2.  I don't shower for days because I end up having just enough time to workout, but not to shower.  Both of these options are uncomfortable and problematic.

4.  I resolve to eat all the remaining crap food in the house by Monday.  I know better than to resolve to "eat healthy," or "lose the holiday weight gain," or any other overachieving resolution like that.  I simply want all this sh*t a$$ food out of my house so that I have a fighting chance...and I'm not going to throw it away (because there are starving people somewhere in the world who would give the world to eat these seven remaining fudge brownies).

5.  I resolve to make more resolutions for other people.  It never fails that while I am doing my resolutions I really can't think of many ways to improve myself.  But, I can think of many ways in which to improve the people I live with.  So, rather than let this eat away at me why not just help them resolve some things for themselves?  It's brilliant, right?

Resolution #1 for all family members (except me) - put things back where they belong...damn it!  I think if they all just did that we could have peace in our house for all of 2013 (or even just for a few days).

Okay.  That's it.  Five simple resolutions.  Set the bar low and make the number small!  And help your fellow resolutioners out when you can!

I hope you guys have success and peace in the New Year (and a little money wouldn't hurt either...or a lot of money) and I'll be back soon with photos of our new addition to the family.  (It's a boy!)


Shannon said...

No resolutions for me, although I COULD run right over and reduce the fudge brownie count in your house to 6 or 5 or, you know, NONE just because I want to help you out and all....should there be any left in the morning feel free to offer them to me with coffee. *wink*

Still working on the one little word thing. The one word was easy, sort of. Trying to come up with more words to explain my choice of one little word, not so much.

OMG I just looked over at Dave and he is sitting here next to me reading your blog post next to me and is now wondering why I burst into spontaneous giggles. And now he just asked if I have read your blog post. I can't stop laughing. He thinks I am nuts. I haven't been drinking I promise.

See you tomorrow friend!

jamiew said...

So glad you're on that resolution thingy for me, especially as i am on "vacation." send them via email & i'll check it as the somewhat adequate wifi at my parents becomes available.

TNMom said...

I interrupt too. Maybe I will try to cut down on that...note to self "Just listen stupid". Happy New Year!

Monica said...

@shannon - oh, that made me spit up my coffee just a little. i will be sure and put out ALL the sweets this morning. @jamiew - well, i hadn't thought of a "friends resolutions" thingie, but i think i like that. you are the only one that would not be too offended and possibly still speak to me - so, yeah! you're up! i'll try to have it ready by the time you finish all that damn fooling around you are doing. @devan - here's the cracked up crazy part - i HATE it when other people do it???!!! so, maybe another resolution of mine should be: stop being a hypocrite?

Anonymous said...

Not going back for seconds really worked for me, too. And I don't even really fill up my plate the first time. I just try to take longer to eat it. Which is very difficult as I am a teacher and used to gobbling an entire meal in 10 minutes.

Monica said...

@whatimeant2say - well, today i didn't go back for seconds for dinner. BUT, i had a huge pre-dinner snack. i'd like to think it was fairly healthy, but i am once again painfully bloated, so i'm not sure it was. yeesh. this transition back to normalcy *might* be harder than i thought.

Shannon said...

You know when I started not going back for seconds I bought hotel-ware 7 inch salad plates for our dinner plates. Standard American dinner plates are 9 inches and i have seen 10 and 11 inch plates for sale. That's a heck of a lot of food. Having a limited amount of space in which to make food mountains helps a lot.

And normalcy will return shortly after you put me on a plane, the kids on a bus, and the tree in a box, then trust me friend, normalcy and all it's to-do lists will return with a vengeance.

WeezaFish said...

I like the way you think lady. I don't resolve normally, but seeing as you mention it. Yeah, okay. Maybe I could interrupt a little less also *pff*. Incidentally, I lost a shed load of weight a few years ago by halving my portions, eating slower and using smaller plates. No, really. It worked!

WeezaFish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Monica said...

@weeza and shannon - well, clearly i have no will power (which i think we knew already). i have already gone back for seconds, but have had moderate success getting back to my "healthy eating." resolutions, shmesolutions.

Mind Margins said...

Wouldn't life be so much better for all of us if everyone would just put things back where they belong? Can we make that a Universal New Year's Resolution? Maybe we could finally attain world peaceif we did!

Monica said...

@mind margins - i. swear. to. god. israeli peace agreement could come out of "PUT STUFF BACK WHERE YOU GOT IT."