Wednesday, April 18, 2012

What the focka?

I hate Dora the Explorer.  I hate watching the show and I hate reading the books.  In case you have never had the literary pleasure of reading Dora books, I'll take a minute to sum it up.  The plots revolve around doing some ridiculous task (reaching star mountain to get a mermaid's necklace back in order to save the environment from a trash dumping octopus - oh and while you're at it - speak really elementary Spanish in a way that will apparently confuse the $hit out of kids), answering a multitude of stupid questions bilingually, chanting an annoying "Swiper no swiping" at some character who (for no good reason) always tries to steal Dora's $hit, and eventually having a Fiesta! with all the friends.  If this doesn't make much sense to you and you are slightly annoyed, I have done a good job explaining the books.

Despite the fact that I hate Dora, we own about 10 Dora books.  When you hate 10 books and own about 1000 books total, odds will have it that every time your three year old wants a book it will be one of the 10 that you hate.  So, that is why I end up reading a lot of Dora and I now know it *could* be how my kid learned the F word.

The other night before bedtime, Girl 3 and I laid down in her bed to read Dora and the Stuck Truck (you can guess the amazing plot for that one).  Now, in case you didn't read this post of mine back in January you may want to go back and read it because this is in a sense a post script.  If you don't want to go back and read it:  Girl 3 (age 3) likes to say something that sounds like "focka" when she is saying things that start with the letter "F."  We don't know why she does that, she just does.  We have tried exhaustively to figure out what she is trying to say, and we still don't know.  It can be a little embarrassing and a whole lot funny. 

Fast forward to the other night when we were reading Dora and the Stuck Truck. 

Every single time I asked her the questions in the Dora book she would say loudly and with great enthusiasm and anticipation, "Focka?"  It was horribly confusing and absolutely hysterical because it went something like this:

Me:  Can you count Dora's trucks with me?  How many are there?

Girl 3:  Focka?

Me (trying not to giggle):  Do you see something in the backpack that can light the way to find the trucks?

Girl 3:  Focka?

Me (chuckling a little out loud):  Can you match the shapes up so we can cross the bridge over the river to get to the stuck trucks?

Girl 3:  Focka?

Me (dying):  Can you say 'Swiper, NO SWIPING!'

Girl 3:  Focka?

Me (trying desperately to maintain what was left of my composure):  Let's say it now in Spanish!

Girl 3:  Focka?

Now, my three year old is no dummy, mind you.  In fact, right here on this blog, some people have said she might be of higher-than-average-IQ.  So, I still cannot figure out why she was just repeating this one word as a question, sure that it was what she was supposed to say.  It was like some sort of Dora monster ate my child and she thought "Focka" was either the magic answer to Dora's woes, or some sort of Spanish word. 

I have since hidden all the Dora books, but I am greatly relieved to know that apparently the F word incident wasn't my fault after all.  It was Dora's.


Anonymous said...

Can I use that as an excuse when I say it, too?

Monica said...

@whatimeant2say - yes. in fact, i think we all should.

jamiew said...

So what the Focka happened to the mutha focka truck?
I love that lil Focka!

Monica said...

during this "focka" routine, baby is part pulp fiction and part david sedaris.

Leigh Powell Hines (Hines-Sight Blog) said...

That's funny. So, what do you think she's really trying to say?

Monica said...

@leigh - i think she might be trying to say something in spanish??? although, i SPEAK spanish and i can't imagine what word it might be. who knows...this kid is an enigma wrapped in a puzzle. ;o)