Sunday, April 22, 2012

The Genius Book of World Records (because it's that good)

In my cast of characters otherwise known as my kids, Boy (age 10) is delightful (and by "delightful" I mean that if you listen long enough something beyond hysterical is bound to come out of his mouth).  For what's left of your weekend pleasure, I leave you with these gems.

1.  Boy:  Mom, how do they make the actual records for the Genius Book of World Records?
Me:  Do you mean the Guinness Book of World Records?
Boy:  Yeah, I guess..........Wait.............No, the GENIUS Book of World Records..............Wait...........So, it's NOT called the GENIUS Book of World Records?
Me:  No.  It's actually called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Boy:  Are you sure?
Me:  Um, yeah.  Pretty much.
Boy:  Wait.  Let me go get the book.
Boy (with the book in hand):  Oh my gosh.  You're right!  It is the Guinness book of World Records.  (Pause.)  Well, that's dumb.  It should be the Genius Book of World Records because all the people in this book are clearly geniuses.

Point well taken, grasshoppa.

2.  Boy:  Mom (as I am washing dishes, supervising the Mischievous Girl 3, and watching my dinner so that it doesn't burn), what word is this 'taemaule?'  Wait.  That might be 'taemalaw?'  No.  I think 'taemale.'  What word is that.  Taemale?
Me:  Hmm.  Spell it for me because that is not a word I know.
Boy:  T-a-m-a-l-e.
Me (incredulously):  Tamale?
Boy:  Oh, yeah.  Tamale!  Because it says they ate them.  So, yeah!  That works.

No bother that we are Hispanic born and raised and eat tamales on Christmas, New Year's, Cinco de Mayo and Diez y Seis de Septiembre.  Oh, and he loves them.  My Mayan/Aztec/Inca ancestors *might* be rolling over in their graves.

3.  Boy had gone to practice baseball with a friend of his.  Upon returning, Boy and his dad were talking about it. 
Dad:  So, how was it?
Boy:  Good.  We had fun.
Dad:  You don't have a mitt, do you?  We probably need to get you one.
Boy:  Well, it was okay.  I borrowed one of theirs.
Dad:  Ah.  That was really kind of them to let you borrow it.
Boy:  Yeah, well, it didn't really matter.  I only caught one ball in the whole two hours.  Turns out baseball's hard.


4.  Boy child has a school issued recorder that he has been diligent about practicing every day (usually multiple times a day to the delight of his parents).  I am really proud of the way he has progressed and practiced all on his own without any prompting from me (although I must say some days I want to poke my eyes out with sharp sticks due to the fact that I hear the same song 15,000 times).  So, after about four months of playing the recorder (and four and a half years of playing the piano - reading music accomplished) Boy child and I have this conversation:

Boy child flies down the stairs and says:  OH MY GOSH, mom.  GUESS WHAT. 
Me:  What?
Me:  Wow.  That's great.  Did you just figure it out?
Boy:  No.  I found it in one of my piano books and played it from there.  Did you know that you can do that?  You can use piano music to play a recorder???
Me:  Really?
Boy:  YES.
Me:  Wow.  You should tell Ms. J. that tomorrow.  I think she would be fascinated.
Boy:  Yeah.  I think I will.

Tell me again.  We have paid for four and half years of piano lessons from a pristine teacher, with an amazing resume, and Boy Child has excelled at piano and he just now figured this out?  This kinda made me want someone to shoot me. 

I love that boy with all my heart.  He gives me some good laughs.


Anonymous said...

Those are all fantastic observations! He sounds like he is a good candidate for my Gifted and Talented class!

Monica said...

@whatimeant2say-he definitely makes me crack up, so yeah - that's talent. ;o)

Nancy Roman said...

Oh my God...Piano music can be used as like, "music"????

Monica said...

@nancy - i know. genius, right?

Shannon said...

We are going to do the piano thing again next year after finally having found a teacher (i think). Colin HATED the recorder with a passion. I think he breaks out in hives just thinking about it. Piano is going to be interesting with him.

Monica said...

@shannon - malcolm LOVES the recorder. he plays it obsessively. and THAT *might* make me break out in hives soon.

Shannon said...

Ewww...that is really not the best sounding instrument especially if it one of those plastic ones, the wooden ones are marginally better, but seriously doesn't sound a bit like fingernails on the chalkboard? The only thing worse is beginner violin. When Dakota was Colin's age hw was playing violin with the San Antonio youth orchestra and seriously I thought I was going to go deaf before he actually learned to play that thing.

Gretchen said...

Well, I'm going to withhold judgement although at this point I'm leaning toward Gifted and Talented as well (I work with these kids...I know what I'm talking about)because I might understand the Tamale problem. My daughter's Mexican/American boyfriend was telling me about a special food they eat for holidays and it sounded something like "taemale". I said, "What?" He said "taemale". I said, "What?" He said "taemale". I said, "Spell it." and my daughter shouted from the bathroom "TAMALE MOM! He said TAMALE!!!!"

Monica said...

@shannon - OMFG. you are NOT going to believe this. he LOST the freaking recorder. damn it. we have turned this house upside down and no recorder in sight. of course i say, "WHERE DID YOU LAST SEE IT???" his answer, "i don't know!!!" yeesh. i think the note said big bucks for replacement. shizzle. @gretchen - ha! i pronounce both of you: geniuses! wait.............geniusi? ;o)

Shannon said...

We had to buy our own, which we found out the week we arrived in Germany. We didn't know where anything was, used the computer to find a store that sold musical instruments. Took the train all over the freaking place then finally found the store and bought a pair of very nice wooden recorders for Z and C. Between the train tickets and the euro those have got to be most expensive recorders ever. About 3 weeks later we discovered there was a tiny hole in the wall music store that sold plastic Yamaha recorders for about 1/5 of what we paid. SIGH.

Monica said...

@shannon - okay. that story made me feel better. ;o)

Shannon said...

Did I mention the tiny hole in the wall was about a 8 minute walk from our house?