It's come to my attention that I Am Getting Old, or the internets is gettin' too much for my brain to compute. Remember (or maybe you are too young to remember, in which case: I hate you) when the only password you had to remember was the password to your debit card? Then remember when you started to have to remember a few more passwords (to your email account, then to maybe one online account that you initiated)? So, to make things easy on yourself you just used the same password for everything? Then remember when The Experts told you that you could die by making all your passwords the same? Well, I don't think they said you could die, but that you could have everything down to your underwear (and possibly your kids) stolen from you by people who learned your one password. Remember that?
So, then you decided to get creative with all your passwords (and by now you have like a bazillion passwords for everything from the lock on the pantry door to your kids' school lunch account). THEN, remember when The Experts tried to help us by giving us hints for our passwords like: your first dog's name, the first guy you ever kissed, the year you drank your first Cheap Liquor, your mom's best friend's aunt's maiden name, your elementary school P.E. teacher's name, and your favorite color? Then remember when the internets started telling us to "strengthen" our passwords by adding Chinese symbols and the numbers in Spanish?
Now, if you are like me, you have eighty-five million passwords (none of which you remember at any given time) to various Important Things (like my own blog), AND you still have to remember your phone number, your cell phone number, your social security number, and when you last washed your hair???
For the love of God. When will it stop? I am terrified of someone (a computer or an actual person) asking me: Mother's maiden name? and I will be frozen in time, muttering something like this while the men in white coats haul me away: