Friday, January 10, 2014

Here's to TV giving me something to blog about when I'm not watching TV.

So, probably my kids went back to school and wrote their proverbial "What I Did On Christmas Vacation" paper like this:

"Over Christmas vacation I stayed in my room and gamed while my mom sat glued to TV like a meth addict on........meth.  The end."

Forget the polar vortex, I was in my own personal TV vortex. 

And this vortex came right on the heels of the frenzy of Season 3 of The Killing.  It's no wonder I'm exhausted.  I think you all know how I feel about The Killing (if you don't - it could be expressed with the emoticon of a cat roller skating carrying a huge heart) and Joel Kinnaman AKA Stephen Holder.  (And if you don't - I'm marrying him when hubby dies.  ((Shhh.  Don't tell John.))  Meanwhile, I'm a stalker.)

So, how did the TV watching stack up?

First hubby had to finish all freaking seasons of Dexter.  Here's my deal with Dexter.  I don't really like it.  I liked it the first couple of shows and then I quit liking it.  I cannot stand Dexter's sister.  Or the detective that always wears the hat.  Or his girlfriend/wife Maria.  Or the other Rob Loweish/Keven Baconish (more on how interchangeable they are later) detective that slept with Dexter's sister.

I do, however, love Dexter.  I love his clever lines and his personality mirrors my own (except for the serial killer part).  So what's not to love?

Why do I watch if that's all I like?  Partly because it's like a train wreck for me and partly because hubby is addicted (although he'll deny it).  Season 4 is out and so we had to watch all of Seasons 2 and 3.  Must.  Keep.  Watching.

Downton Abbey.  I made a noble attempt (which reminded me of someone trying to save themselves from the Titanic) to watch Seasons 2 and 3 between December 26 and this past Sunday when the new season came out on PBS.  I didn't make it.

But, I couldn't keep myself from listening to David Bianculli's review of the first episode of Season 4 on NPR though so now I know some of the juiciness from Season 3 even though I'm still not done with it.  Damn NPR.  (No self control.  That's me.)  And, by the way, I want Bianculli's job.  Sit and watch TV all day (which is what I do now), and then get to discuss it, and get paid for it (which is what hubby wished happened)?  Is that legal???

There is nothing about Downton Abbey that I do not love.  I watched so much over vacation that I was addressing hubby as, "My Lord."  I can't say he hated it?

And, Downton Abbey makes me feel so refined and less sleazy about all the other crap I watch.  It's like a food cleanse after you've eaten 20 Big Macs.

The Following.  So, I kinda got addicted to this by accident.  As usual, I blame hubby who I think  happened on it after I'd succumbed to sleep around two o'clock in the morning after watching about eight episodes of Dexter.

I had no respect for Kevin Bacon after his sex tape scandal of the eighties.  Then hubby informed me that that was Rob Lowe.  (Both of them have that look shared by what'shisface on Dexter, apparently.)  But, I still can't erase the horrors of Sleepers from my mind every time I see Bacon on screen.  (I know that's legit.)

I don't recommend The Following if you are suspicious by nature because then I think you would end up committed - to a mental institution (not a good man).  And after about the fifth or was it the eighth? episode it's getting on my nerves.  Really?  Everyone is out to get Bacon?

I've had to put this show on hold though because while I've had my nose so far up Netflix' a$$, the spring season of MY REGULAR SHOWS came out.  Alas, I already missed one.  Sorry, Mr. Reese!

So, that's it friends. 

If it weren't for my TV life, I'd have no life at all.


Anonymous said...

I can't believe I haven't watched any of these shows. And it's not like I don't watch TV. But I totally agree with you about wanting that TV show reviewing job. Why don't they tell you in HS when you are thinking about careers that such jobs exist? They need to stop pushing doctoring and lawyering and open up people's minds to some other possibilities. Like ice-cream taster. Yeesh. Narrow thinking. That's the problem with this country.

Anonymous said...

Oh, yeah. Forgot. That last comment was me, Mrs. Cap'n Firepants. Oops!

Monica said...

@whatimeant2say - you really must try downton abbey. the rest are pretty much crap (well, except the killing - that one is awesome). I can't believe I was holding a grudge for all these years against bacon for a sex tape he didn't even make.

Anonymous said...

I feel so close to you right now that I'm going to forgive the Dexter diss and move past it. The Lowe/Bacon thing is hysterical. Poor Kevin got a bum rap...

Mind margins said...

I did the same thing with Breaking Bad while going through chemo. Me and Walter White were tight.. Then I watched two entire seasons of Grey's Anatomy I somehow missed, tried to get into Dexter and Sons of Anarchy (didn't like either), and then turned to fluffy, mindless chick lit on the Kindle. Today I watched figure skating all afternoon and evening. While knitting. I am such a nerd.

Monica said...

@spacurious - I am quite famous for confusing famous people in my head and then having hubby (condescendingly) straighten it out for me only to forget again a few months later. #oldbrain and, by the way, your post in which you reference Dexter's sister's perfect body. yeah, I forgot that. like how much does she weigh? 70? my god. and every time I turn around she's drinking a BEER. I love beer and I look like it, too. shit. it's just not fair. @mind margins - knitting AND figure skating? no judgment (well, just a little). if you lived closer I'd come over and ask you to knit me a hat. that would be totally worth the figure skating. ;o)

Anonymous said...

I think Deb weighs 75 pounds soaking wet. I actually saw her in person in the coffee shop near my house and her legs looked like pencils - really looooong pencils. Deep into Grey's Anatomy now. Finished Leverage, Monk, Alphas, Frasier, Wings, SCANDAL! and every Star Trek ever made - even the original series.