A mostly true conversation in the Yukon Cornelius after seeing bikes propped up against and locked to a stop sign in our neighborhood:
Boy Child: Someone put their bikes next to the stop sign AGAIN! Seriously? Those bikes are going to get stolen one of these days.
Girl 1: How? They're locked.
Boy Child: THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY CAN'T BE STOLEN. Use your common sense. Someone could just use a blow torch. In fact, I'll get a blow torch and steal them.
Me: Lifting my eyebrow to hubby.
Girl 1: Seriously? How would you steal them with a blow torch?
Boy Child: You would just put the blow torch at the bottom of the pole and blow through the pole with fire. Then, the bikes are yours.
Hubby: Yeah, but they'd be locked together. And you'd have a broken down stop sign pole. AND a blow torch is noisy so someone would probably call the cops. It would be better to just use a hack saw.
Me: A hack saw??? Really? Isn't a hack saw kind of like a butter knife? A hack saw would not cut down a stop sign pole.
Hubby *kind of condescendingly*: An electric hacksaw, babe? Yes, yes it would.
Me: Duh. Of course, an electric hacksaw. But, where would you plug it in?
Hubby: Rolling his eyes at me. Really?
Boy Child: Well, I still think a blow torch would work better. I am not sure about the noise. Do they make silencers for blow torches? And, well, as for them being locked together you could just walk them home like that. Because I guess it would be a little hard to ride one and carry the other.
Hubby: Well, yeah. And someone might see you and wonder why you were carrying two bikes home in the middle of the night and leaving behind a downed stop sign pole that had been blow torched through.
Girl 1: Yeah, but you still wouldn't be able to RIDE them because they would be locked together. Duh!
Boy Child: DUH! Use your common sense! You could just cut through the locks with a.............what's that thing called, dad? What would you use to cut through the locks?
Hubby: A bolt cutter?
Boy Child: Yeah. A bolt cutter! You could just cut through the locks with a bolt cutter once you got them home. In your garage.
Hubby: Duh! Use your common sense! If you were going to steal the bikes, it would be a lot easier if you just took the bolt cutter with you and cut through the lock there at the stop sign pole.
Boy Child (somewhat deflated): Yeah. I guess you could do it that way. (Silence.) But using a blow torch would be way more fun.
Note to self: Do NOT lock my bike (when I get one) to a stop sign pole in my neighborhood. Ever.