I had just been bitching and moaning about how I never get awarded crap, how I must be just a God awful blogger, how I will never, ever be a famous author (or cookie store owner, damn it), how every other blogger I know has a crap ton of awards and I don't have jack$hit, how my skin is looking so old and that's probably why my blog sucks, blah, blah, blah. And then I find out that the fairly famous gal over at whatimeant2say (who has a crap ton of awards, BTW, that she had to buy a f&*%ing bookshelf for them) has given me this:
So, apparently when people get awarded awards (this is my first one, so I am not really sure about protocol) they are required to do certain things (like buy new cars and maybe that new purse I have been wanting..............I feel a "note to self" coming on). So, here's the certain things I need to do/feel compelled to do. Don't worry I made it concise.
Protocol when you are awarded an award for Awarding People Who Are Kind of a Big Deal.
1. Acceptance Speech: I would like to thank
2. Name 5 things you would stick up your Junk Trunk if you were forced to. Hmm. whatimeant2say has never met me IRL so I would not expect her to know that I don't have any Trunk Junk. I would, however, stick my skinny a$$ up for: a beer (it's okay I don't need a glass), Ghiradelli chocolate brownies (even just the samples at Costco), injustice of any kind (unless it involves squirrels, those nasty chocolate rats, living things crawling up your toilet to bite you in the a$$, or SPAM because I have rational fears toward all of those things), white girls who rap (because there aren't very many and I think they might need my Junk Trunk - small as it is - to help them out), and The People of Wal-Mart (because let's face it, we would have far fewer laughs without them).
3. Tell at least 5 things you do that would make people want to kill you or, at the very least Hate you for the rest of their lives. Wow. Just five? 1. When I am bored talking on the phone I make a static-y sound with my mouth and say, "Oh, the phone's breaking up. I'll call you back." 2.
3. Blindfold yourself & walk out into traffic on the Highway. I got my four kids to do that one for me.
4. Pick 5 Bloggers to BULLY with this (a-hem) ‘Award’.
Adventures in Self Reliance
Ramblings and Rumblings
This Is Mommyhood
P.S. A good friend just brought to my attention that I totally screwed up the answer to #2. Sorry. Apparently my brain was "off" when I answered that. Now that I have read it correctly my answer, "EWWWWW. EXIT ONLY."