Friday, February 10, 2012

Leonardo DiCaprio: I'm still pissed. Netflix: You are not far behind.

So, you might know we got Netflix shortly after Santa brought us the Wii.  Now, I realize the rest of the living world has probably had Netflix for about 20 years, but it's new to us.  I am still a little amazed that I can flick on the TV (well, not really me, but the 10 year old boy because I have yet to learn how to use the Wii or Netflix on my own) and find an array of movies right there that I might want to see.  (Let me just say now that, among other things, Netflix furthers my attempts to never have to dress or bathe.) 

You might be thinking to yourself, "This is a good thing, right?  How can it go south?"  Well, that's what I am here to tell you.  Here, my friends, is how Netflix can go wrong.

As a preface to this post I should probably tell you that since I was born I have been notoriously bad at picking movies.  I just suck.  I could blame my horrible memory, but that's not really fair.  I think it's just in my blood.  Often times I will hear a review of a movie that sounds just fabulous and 1.  I really screw up the name of the movie and instead rent it's B counterpart, or 2.  I actually rent the correct movie only to find the person who reviewed it was apparently on hallucinogenic drugs that caused him or her to think it was a great movie.  Hubby knows this about me and tolerates it (but not without making comments about it occasionally when he's been forced to watch some movie worse than the sit-com Whitney).

Fast forward to us getting Netflix.  The first movie I watched was The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.  I am not being paid to say this, but I should be.  That was an awesome movie.  Fabulous acting, intriguing plot, and suspenseful to the end.  Despite that, my faith in my movie picking ability was restored with one movie!  I know, too good to be true. 

Then my second pick was Creepshow 2 circa 1980s based on the book by Stephen King.  Now, I love Steven King and I may have been confusing Creepshow 2 with the original Creepshow (which I think was actually a pretty good movie).  Plus, my love for Stephen King may have influenced my pick.  I have read quite a few of his books and of the movies adaptations I remember I loved Misery, Christine, Shining, The Green Mile.  Well, let me just say that Creepshow 2 is quite possibly The Worst Movie Ever Made Based on a Stephen King Book.  In my mind (and I am pretty sure hubby's) I was demoted back to Worst Movie Picker Ever.

It looks like it could be good, right?  Apparently looks can be deceiving.
THEN I picked Shutter Island.  I remembered that when that movie came out in 2010 (because I am still watching Must Sees from the 1900's) I really wanted to see it.  Well, this is how bad it is.  I fell asleep more than twice, woke up, continued watching and still was able to understand the plot.  Not only is it a horrible movie, it is like a train wreck.  You so want to look away, but something compels you to keep watching.  When the ending credits rolled I was shocked and bitter to learn Martin Scorcese is the director?!  In a nutshell:  plot that's been used a million times, bad acting, lighting that's tough for people over *30*, and scary people on par with Creepshow.  So, let me just say - had it been circa 1980 it could have beat Creepshow 2 for the Bad Movie Oscar.

The thing that angers me the most is that I should have known better.  I really am not a DiCaprio fan.  In fact, I'm kind of an un-fan.  I'm still kinda angry about Titanic.  Not really the movie itself, but how much I had to hear about it after the movie.  Y'know?  I could be one of about 20 people that hated Titanic.  You already know how it ends and that takes away half the fun.  And then there was Inception.  I fell sound asleep after taking a bathroom break and coming back to be lost as hell.  Revolutionary Road.  Didn't even see it, but the trailers made me gag.  I thought I had remembered all of the reasons why I do not care for DiCaprio and then hubby reminded me of What's Eating Gilbert Grape.  Hubby pointed out that that was a truly great movie.  I reminded hubby that it was because Leon had Johnny Depp to pull him through.  

I wasted two hours and eighteen minutes of my life that I cannot get back.  I finally went to bed after midnight and was grumpy and groggy all the next day.  Bottom line:  I'm still pissed.  It's going to take me a while to get over this one.  My movie recommendation (thank me later) - if you have two hours and eighteen minutes of free time this weekend do not watch DiCaprio and be cautious with Netflix.  Happy weekend and may all your movie picks be winners!


Hines-Sight said...

Shutter Island looked too scary for me.

I've actually seen some good movies with him. The one about Howard Hughes is good. And he was in a good one with Mark Walburg, and Martin Sheen. Of course, I can't remember the name.

Jae said...

Remember I said there was another Scorsese movie to be mad at, with DeCaprio? Gangs of New York. Bam! ;)

I did like The Man in the Iron Mask however, and I want to see J. Edgar. And I agree with hubby - What's Eating Gilbert Grape was great! Cuz Depp was in it!! Love me some Depp... can you do a movie review about Depp next?

Anonymous said...

I have the same problem with Netflix. But you still should have known better ;)

Redwing said...

Aunt Moni~

One of the good things about Netflix, is that if you rate a couple of the movies you watch, it will recommend some that are based on your rating scale.

This is not perfect of course, but usually a good indicator of how a movie is generally received.

My Recommendations available (streaming) on Netflix: (Better or worse)

TV: The League, Coupling, Sherlock.

Movies: Limitless, True Grit(new version), Jackass 3.

Stand-up Comedy: Nick Kroll, Mike Birbiglia,Gabriel Iglesias.


Shannon said...

I have a half finished blog post, it's half finished like everything else around here, where I am asking for movie recommendations. If I ever get it finished and posted I will remember to take your recommendations with a grain of salt.

Monica said...

@leigh - shutter island is scary in that it is sooooo bad. ;o) we love, love, love scary, suspenseful, horrific, murder, and gore (don't hate us ;o). we are not creepy, just love that crime, etc. and, yes, i do remember the mark walburg coupling. can't remember movie, though. @jae - oh, yes. gangs of new york - how could i forget??? i will devote a post to depp soon. @whatimeant2say - i know, i know. @rw - that's precisely why i need savvy and younger family closer. you could help me with these issues. i will try to figure this out, but i can't make any promises. @shannon - ask and you shall receive. ;o)

Elle said...

Shutter Island was a total snooze fest for me too but I did perk up whenever Mark Ruffalo was on screen. :)

Monica said...

@elle - hahahaha. i thought the same thing. i might have to pin him!!!