Thank you, public education for keeping me sober. This week. So far.

So, it's no secret how I feel about Red Ribbon Week.  Although, I must say it kinda seems like my kids' elementary school decision-makers read my blog post last year *gasp*.  I say this, because this year Red Ribbon Week Schedule has actually been...manageable.  Since the majority of the people in the world are not reading my blog, I suspect what actually happened was that they had someone serving on the Very Important Committee That Makes Red Ribbon Week Decisions who actually has a child.  In public school.  Participating in Red Ribbon Week.  *GASP*  The first step in making it a successful year (in keeping parents sober) was sending the Red Ribbon Week Schedule home a WEEK EARLY.  So great.  We had one full week to prepare and buy crap we don't need this year.  Thank you, public education!  I will not mention how a few people thought that because the note went home a week early, Red Ribbon Week was October 17-21.  Therefore their kids showed up at school all peace-ed out for no good reason.  Nor, will I gloat by saying: -I was not one of those people!

Here's the 2011 Red Ribbon Week Run-Down (and although I am delighted at not wanting to drink heavily after reading it, I must admit I am a tad disappointed in the lack of fanfare, chaos, and household fighting):

Monday - Say Peace Out To Drugs.  Wear your tie-dye shirts and/or peace symbols.  Since both of my girls love peace symbols and since the nine year old boy is content this year with, "Just saying no," I really have no comment on this.  But, I would be remiss if I did not repeat what I said last year.  If you remember the 70's - you were not there.  So, I remain conflicted about invoking the "Peace" symbol as a symbol of No Drugs.  It seems a bit like a mixed message.  Girl 1 and 2 left the house looking cute as bugs and as far as I know they remained drug free all day. 

Tuesday - Don't Let Drugs Give You The Blues.  Wear your blue jeans.  Fabulous!  I almost thought it was a joke when I read it - it was so easy.  It seemed a little surreal.  Like I had been serving on the committee and I had said, "Why not just something simple that everyone already has.  *Insert long pause.*  Like BLUE JEANS?!"  No blue hair?  No obscure outfit from the 40's?  No "paint your face two different colors"???  This one seems to have been made for Slacker Moms like me.  After all, what sane kid living in America doesn't have a pair of jeans???  I'll tell you what kid.  Girl 2.  She has not one pair of jeans.  She hates jeans.  She hasn't worn jeans since she was two and I forced her into them.  Hubby says she has "sensory issues."  I say she likes to drive her mom crazy when shopping for clothes.  I digress, and either way - SHE DOESN'T HAVE JEANS.  So, there was ONE unhappy camper in my house yesterday morning.  BUT, it's okay - because this did not make me want to drink a beer.  Just a teensy bit.  Girl 1 and Boy Child left with jeans on and remained drug free all day (as far as I know).  I think Girl 2, despite not wearing jeans, remained drug-free too.

Wednesday - (Pay attention because here's where it gets tricky.) My Future Shines Bright Drug-Free.  Wear your shades to school.  So, typically people with sensory issues don't like stuff on their faces.  But, Girl 2 agreed to wear some of my old sunglasses and Girl 1 did, too (What are the odds that I kept two pairs of old sunglasses???  It's creepy.).  Boy Child agreed to wear some of his dad's sunglasses.  Sa-weet.  Our first day participating in drug-free week as a family.  I was positively giddy and wanted a cocktail to celebrate!  Then:  As soon as I got back from delivering them all to the bus stop - I found all three pairs of glasses sitting on the table.  I pray they can resist the temptations today without their eye wear.

Thursday - Life is a journey, Travel Drug Free.  Wear a shirt from another city, state or country.  Now, my comment on this one is just going to be a quick re-cap of the conversation I had with Girl 1 two weeks ago when the Red Ribbon Schedule first came home.

Girl 1 - (Diligently reading me the entire Red Ribbon Week Schedule and inserting her own cute little eight-year-old comments.)  Thursday Life is a journey.  Travel Drug Free.  Wear a shirt from another city, state or country.  Ha-ha.  That's funny, mom 'cuz y'know what I thought at first?
Me - No, what?
Girl 1 - That it was okay to do drugs in another place like another country or city or state.  But, just not in your own home or place where you live.  Hahahahahahahaha.  THAT would be ridiculous, huh?
Me:  Yes.  That would be ridiculous.

Enough said.

Friday - Insert Elementary School Name and Mascot are PROUD to be Drug-free.  Wear your spirit shirts.  I love this one.  We all have spirit shirts and we all like to wear them.  I will NOT even drink a celebratory beer for this one..............well, maybe............................but just one.

It's Wednesday and I am proud to say we are all drug-free so far.  No one has a shirt from another city, state, country, or planet (we have four kids and are too poor to travel), so the jury is still out on whether we will remain drug-free for the week.  But, it seems Red Ribbon Week just keeps getting better and better.  Frankly, I am excited for what 2012 has to offer me in terms of tricks to stay drug-free.  Good luck staying drug-free, friends and HAPPY RED RIBBON WEEK!