Thursday, October 13, 2011

nothing says Happy Halloween like calling 911 from the corn maze.

In case you missed it:

My sister constantly scourges the Internet looking for bizarre tidbits that I need to know (but not at work - because then she would be fired). I got this yesterday afternoon from her and I am sorry that when I got it the Baby was having a meltdown because I wouldn't let her eat candy before dinner. I had to ignore Baby until I finished laughing (which was just a few minutes ago).

I am forced to surmise that first 911 call since we don't have the transcript from that one.

Operator: 911. What's your emergency?

Woman in distress: Hello, 911? I'M STUCK IN A CORN MAZE.

Operator (signaling for all his fellow operators to huddle near the phone in a "get a load of this" motion): You say you're stuck in a corn maze?

Woman in distress: YES.

Operator (holds hand over receiver to stifle wild laughter from him and his co-workers): Ma'am, I'm not sure I understand the nature of the emergency. Aren't people supposed to get stuck in corn mazes?

Woman in distress: Yes, but I am with my two children - one is a newborn - and I can't find the way out.

Operator (trying to concentrate as his fellow operators frantically scribble things on cue cards for him to say, "ARE YOU NUTS?" "WHAT KINDA CRAZY IS THIS?" "WHERE THE F IS THE HIDDEN CAMERA?": Okay. (swallowing hard) Is anyone with you besides your children?

Woman in distress: Well, my husband is here.


My sister and I decided several things via email this morning:

1. We agree this indeed was a "nightmare" and this woman needs to keep her post-partum crazy HOME.
2. We are both happy that she is not a close friend. But, part of us (okay maybe just me) wish we knew her just so that we could say, "I like you, but you are FREAKIN' NUTS!"
3. We agreed to be careful in the future when calling 911 because it might be on msnbc later and cause embarrassment to our friends.
4. The humor in: "She takes the baby out ONE time and now the whole family is traumatized." was not lost on us. "That will teach her to take the baby out." (And, I am quoting my sister, not myself - I would never be that sarcastic...that was sarcasm, right?)
5. (And my sister didn't actually agree to this one, but I know she will once she reads my post.) I may want to call this-kinda-crazy Flowers in the Attic Crazy.
6. We think possibly her husband had no sense of direction......Therefore he was.............another woman?

On the other hand, I am going to see if I can friend Bob Connors on Facebook because he sounds like a happy picnic. What I know about him that makes me want to be his friend (virtually and otherwise): he wanted people to get lost in his corn maze, he made it in the shape of the Headless Horseman, he likes to give people their money's worth (who wouldn't love that?), he has a "funny feeling" that because of this "harrowing journey" it's going to be a "busy season."

That is all.

1 comment:

Shannon said...

Dave likes the comment about her husband having no sense of direction and being .....another woman. I would be offended but you know I am terminally lost.

I am pretty sure the only I way made it through the airports to KY last summer was because Alonzo kept telling me "Not that way Mom!" And Colin kept making "DUH" noises under his breath.