Sunday, March 30, 2014

You can thank Facebook for guilting me into ignoring you less. (You're welcome.)

There's no theme and you don't have to consider this a real post.

1.  I'm considering a 10K (I'm also considering a 10G, but I blame Breaking Bad).  Not really.  But a great friend (who is short, but could kick your a$$ because she works out with more zeal than Richard Simmons but don't worry she's not kooky or annoying) is trying to convince me that this would somehow be good for me and that I might enjoy it.  Right.  Please comment why this is a worse idea than me staying up till 2:00 watching Breaking Bad when I have to get up at 5:00 and work.

2.  Said friend lent (not the one where you give something up) me a doo-hickey that you attach to your waist (attractively?) and it carries two water bottles.  Why do I need this?  Because it's April (check your calendars) in South Texas and I'm in pre-menopause (whatever that is) so that equals hot and thirsty, y'all.  So, why did this even make the quickie list?  Because it's dorky and more than vaguely reminiscent of the notorious fanny pack.  I know every like "serious" runner does it, but I can't shake the dork factor.  Would I rather die from heat exhaustion?  I'm still thinking about it.

3.  Will you guys still like me if I am the only person in the free world that doesn't care for Breaking Bad?  Here's the thing.  I'm used to House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, and The Killing.  Breaking Bad is s-l-o-w.  Like a turtle.  Now, I've written a small amount about hubby but something you might not know about him is that he's a "multi-tasker."  When we watch Netflix he plays a game on his phone, checks his laptop for emails, shares gourmet popcorn with Bandit, and explains difficult episode material to me.  "How does he do this???" you ask.  Simple answer?  He's a guiness.  Well, I could never do that.  I have a one track mind.  (Insert snicker.)  BUT, with Breaking Bad I can.  Last night while watching I did all my paperwork, emailed two customers, and did some actual work.  And this was well past 10:00 p.m.  The hell???  (I'm giving it two more episodes and then I'm calling it quits.)  No haters, please?

4.  Captcha (Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart) mocks me.  As you know, my eyes are aging at an accelerated rate.  Hubby calls me (affectionately?), "old eyes."  So every time I have to "prove I'm not a robot" I get it wrong.  It's become this battle between Captcha and me.  I imagine him as a real person sitting behind a laptop somewhere commenting under his breath as I type.  "She is a robot."  "What a moron!"  "Really?  She's either blind or she's not human."  Then it's like Captcha takes pity on me kinda (after I get like five of them wrong) and he's all, "Ok, Ms. Dayinthelife.  How about this, 'U R 2 S tpD.'"  At which point I'm like, "THANK YOU!  I can do this!"

5.  This is the funniest thing I've read all month.  In fact, read this gal's blog (but don't stop reading mine).  She is beyond hysterical and pretty much delivers the truth in a highly entertaining package.  I'm going to a baby shower today and I'm considering printing off this post, wrapping it up in fancy paper, and attaching a card that says, "You'll thank me later."  As much as I love this post, it has dashed all of my dreams of ever writing a parenting book.  Because absolutely nothing could compare to this advice.



jamiew said...

Ok, not gonna hate, but we pretty much watched Breaking Bad like Christians go to church; on Sundays, religiously, during it's current run(with some mid-week make-ups on the DVR). I am a "believer" in that this show must be mulled over, perhaps much as a sermon might be. Take some time to absorb and reflect, before you leave the flock.
Walt is the danger. So sayeth the Heisenberg.

Monica said...

@jamiew - well, you've certainly given me a new perspective. and I'm a thinker? so, you'd think I'd be all in my glory? hmm. okay. you and all the people at the baby shower today convinced me to stick with it AND consider it a blessing that I can work and watch (and game if I gamed).

Jae said...

LMAO! I can watch TV, talk to Steve about the show, play Hay Day and Words w/Friends and check email, etc. And I'm am looking forward to Breaking Bad. Just ONE episode left of House of Cards! OMG on the 3rd to last one where wifey was drunk, as was the Secret Service Agent. Can you say AWKARD!?

Janel said...

You are far too kind. Speaking of Breaking Bad, my husband and I just finished the very last episode last night. If you're not too far into the series, I beg you to give it a little more time. It is a slow starter, but once it picks up, it's just amazing. Lots of layers to that show.

Monica said...

@jae - I pegged frank as a bi in about the third episode of season one (because I am THAT good ;o). but the actual menagethree was very interesting. ;o) @janel - hey lady! thank you for stopping by! you are one of my idols, so I am doing a dorky happy dance right now. :D no fear - I am giving walt more time. and yoyoyo CRACKS me up. I really hope he won some kind of award for this.

Mind Margins said...

Woo hoo on "thinking about" running a 10K. I do so understand about the water bottle thing around your waist. I hate wearing it, but this IS Texas.