1. Boy child is now playing the alto sax. When I first found out he was going to play this instrument I pictured him playing jazz while I sipped a smooth drink. That hasn't happened so far. It's more like a cacophony of sound that makes you want to stab yourself. Everyday it happens for 20 minutes during which time I cannot do anything but sit down and breathe slowly.
2. About three weeks ago Girl 3 threw a laptop through the front window. There are three positive aspects of this story.
- It was a toy laptop (that weighed probably more than the real laptops).
- Our windows are cheap, but double paned. Only one pane shattered. We still haven't fixed it because we are those ghetto neighbors.
- She was really aiming at her brother's head, not the window. Wait. How is that a positive? I can't remember.
So, I diagnosed us myself.
Diagnosis? We are crazy.
3. I hurt myself. It's an annoying kind of painfully painful pain (that's the scientific description) and so far (based on Google) I might have:
- A sprained or fractured lumbar
- A tumor in my back
- Kidney disease
- Kidney stones
- Osteoarthritis or
4. My kids started school. This means I have spent the last two days filling out paperwork.
- What's the best time to call you?
- Have you read the discipline policy?
- Is your child allowed to access the internet at school?
- Where do you work?
- Do you understand that if his electronic device breaks at school it is not the school's fault?
- Have you had a criminal background check?
- What race are you?
- Do you want to volunteer?
- Do you want to sell a box of The World's Finest Chocolate?
5. Two of my favorite bloggers closed down their blogs. They were both really great writers. One of them was related to me, so naturally she was/is amazingly talented. So, of course it made me sad. But it also made me want to shut mine down and sent me into this crazy tailspin. Some kind of weird funk came over me (not the stinky kind) and I just decided to quit and do something I'm good at.
But, then I couldn't think of anything to do, so I just tried to remember that Laughter Is The Best Medicine and I (wasted some good time that I could have been effectively and consistently disciplining my children or telling the schools where I work) Googled some really funny shiz.
Real people doing their thing.
I love them and I laugh like it's the first time every time.
And, thanks, you guys for writing such funny stuff too that always makes me laugh.
And, happy Labor Day because this one post took me three days to write and now it's a holiday!