Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Why can't we just get along and make decisions that are healthy for everyone?

I'm on the tail end (pun intended) of a summer running injury after which I became a gluttonous, carb loading slug...............oh, aaaaaaaaaand I'm clearly driving myself crazy.

Me:  You should go run.  You feel a little better now and your back, butt, and sides have not hurt for a few days.  And as much as you say you hate to exercise and workout, you are a much more rationale, sane, and happy person when you do.

Me:  Yeah, but I could overdo it and injure myself and be down and out for another month if I go run.  And, there's the fact that it's still 130 degrees in South Texas.  Y'know?  There's that.

Me:  Well, then you should just walk.  Besides, the dog wants to walk.  You'll hardly break a sweat.  Go walk.

Me:  Yeah, but I'm tired and there' much to do.

Me:  Your justifications are nuts.  You are going to Facebook and blog if you don't go.  Oh, and your obliques are HUGE.  Wait, where are your obliques?  Cheesus.  Where are they?

Me:  Shut-up.  I may have actually injured my oblique and that could have been causing all the pain.   So they could be just reacting to being hurt by.............gaining weight.  Y'know so they can feel more comfortable in this body that's gained weight?

Me:  See?  Your justifications are ca-razy.  YOU HAVE BRAND NEW RUNNING SHOES THAT COST MORE THAN A TRIP TO THE DOCTOR WITH X-RAYS.  GET UP AND GO RUN WALK.  You are never going to lose this weight you have gained if you don't get up and go out, you sloth.

Me:  I hate you.  I'm going to bed.

Me:  And then tomorrow you will wake up and your obliques will still be there and they will still not fit in your pants and you will hate me more.

Me:  Is there chocolate in the fridge?  Because I think there's chocolate in the fridge.

Me:  You are hopeless.  I quit.

Me:  Good because I'm tired and I am going to bed and I can't sleep if you are still talking.


Jae Carlisle said...


Organic Hispanic said...

You can do it, put your back into it! ;)

Shannon said...

Sorry about the injury, and the crazy self talk. I haven't blogged because my own inner dialogue is too cranky and ungrateful to share right at this moment, suffice it say I want to be sitting on my porch swing drinking a Shiner right now, but eventually I will get around to it.

I haven't walked (except to the grocery so I can eat) or run, or done yoga or done anything that could misconstrued as exercise since I left. And somehow in spite of that somehow this morning I accidentally put on David's pants and they zipped and snapped, although they wouldn't stay snapped when I sat down. I spent the first 20 minutes of the day wandering around in a caffein deprived funk thinking dark thought about how fat I was and how maybe I am not fat but just having monthly PMS bloating until partway throughout he second cup of coffee I suddenly realized I was wearing David's pants. DAVID"S skinny ass pants. Maybe I should keep eating chocolate and beer and not exercising because I am telling you something is working if I can put on his pants.

Nomads By Nature said...

You have answered your own question. Each chocolate while walking and watching the dog run. And you'll be off your @ss about slacking to boot. Win-Win!

Anonymous said...

I have been getting fat watching Wonderbutt getting fat because it's too hot for either of us to go for a walk. Plus he has been limping. Probably because of all of the weight he is putting on his legs. But he can't lose the weight because he can't exercise because he's limping.

And I'm lazy.

Where the heck is that chocolate?!!! Now I need some!