Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Naked Truth. (And yes, I know you never wanted to see me naked.)

So, I'm trying to be a better blogger.  What does this mean for you?  I have no idea.  (I'll probably be way more annoying?) 

But, I just finished reading an excellent post  over at one of my favorite bloggers' space and he said try to post everyday because your readers want to subscribe to something that is worthwhile.  So, please think I'm worthwhile?  (He may have also said something about groveling, too, but I'm not above that yet.)

I've also had the opportunity to read lots of posts lately where the blogger tells you a lot of things about himself/herself so that you can get to know him/her better.  At least I think that's why they are doing it.  Do you want to know me better?  Probably not, but here it goes anyway.

1.  I am a compulsive list maker.  Sometimes Often times I make lists to make the list.  Is that creepy?  Yes.  But, I can't stop doing it.  Yesterday I found this list in my jeans' pocket:

2.  Sometimes I go months without washing my jeans.

3.  I often ask and answer questions all by myself.  And by "often" I mean all the time.  Example:  This is the running dialogue in my head right now.

Is this post crazy?
Do I care?
Should I still publish it?
Why did you ask that question when you actually knew the answer before you even typed it?
I have no idea.

4.  I blame my kids and hubby for stuff I do at least daily.  Example:  When I've eaten 10 candies out of my kids' candy baskets after they've gone to bed and they find my wrappers in the trash the next morning I calmly say when they ask how the wrappers got in the trash, "Oh, how did those get in the trash?  That's weird.  I guess dad was craving chocolate last night."  My kids, "But, dad doesn't even like chocolate."  Me, "WELL, THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT WEIRD THEN, HUH???"

5.  So, is #4 basically lying?  Yes, it is.

6.  I hate talking on the phone.  Don't ever call me and tell me something remotely important that needs action because usually I am not even listening.  The washing machine that I am loading is making too much noise and I can't hear you.  (My close friends and most of my family know this about me so I don't consider it rude.)  (Sometimes I lie to myself.)

7.  I am mostly deaf.  In both ears.  Not really, but it's psychosomatic so that makes it true.

8.  I don't trust doctors.  Unless they are taking a baby out of my womb.  In that case I trust them more than hubby.

9.  I brush my teeth anytime I am upstairs in my bathroom.  Even if I brushed them earlier and I haven't eaten anything.

10.  I read a lot in the bathroom.  My kids *might* think I have bowel problems because they often pound on the door and scream, "ARE YOU DONE YET?  ARE YOU OKAY?  GAWD, MOM.  YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR LIKE AN HOUR!"  Half the time I'm just sitting on the pot (the closed pot) reading my book and grunting occasionally at them.  I get my best reading done that way.

11.  I constantly curse at spell check.  Example (I just said this to spell check.):  No you, moron.  Cheesus H. Christ.  I typed, "hte" and you think I want to say "Hate???"  WTF?  You are a worse speller AND WRITER than I am???  How would that even make sense???  And this is supposed to be helpful???  I hate you.

I could go on and on.  Who knew?  Turns out I love talking about myself.  But, this is to make you guys happy, right?   

Now, tell me something incriminating about yourself (not on the phone - in the comments) to make me happy and then we'll be even.  Happy Tuesday!


TNMom said...

So, I make lists JUST LIKE you! I make lists OF my lists. I am nuts!

Also, I do not talk on the phone. I will not answer, then text back "sorry, phone was on silent, what,s up?"

I don,t trust doctors either, I don,t even know why I go to them. As the words are coming out of their mouths I am thinking - yeah right, you quack!

Adding one of my own, I am crazy OCD when it comes to tupperware containers. They MUST be the exact right size for what's going in, and if something gets used out of one, the remainder of food or whatever has to be put in a new one or I will go crazy. Luckily I am a really good judge of what size is needed right off the bat, except when I am pregnant, then I cant judge it for shit. Luckily, I am all done being pregnant for this lifetime. :)
Good to get to know you! <3 Devan

TNMom said...

Also I swear to GODS I know where the apostrophe is on my keyboard, my computer is doing messed up shit with it tonight... ' Looks like an aprostophe when I type it...

jamiew said...

i confess to you regularly, we share most of the same OCD style compulsivity so i offer this: i WILL judge a person by their shoes; ugly feet, a bad pedicure or long unpainted toenails and grubby flip-flops are difficult for me to get past, no matter how great a personality one might have.

Anonymous said...

OK. The teeth brushing thing is a bit bizarre. But, I'm not really one to talk. All of the other things, though, are perfectly normal - at least in my opinion.

Monica said...

@devan - oh god. i think you passed it on to me because just now when i was putting away the leftover rigatonis i searched for the perfect container. gak! so, thanks devan? ;) JUST KIDDING. one can never have too many freaky quirks, right? @jamiew - oh god again. *checking my feet* since you put your hand in my tights today i think we're good? @whatimeant2say - i admit the teeth thing is weird. i am really, really freaky about teeth and i guess breath. i am constantly breathing on hubby and saying, "does my breath stink?" (he loves that.) i'm glad you approve of all my other quirky traits. :D

jamiew said...

ok, for clarification, you were not in your tights when i put my hands in them.
yep, we're good.