Here's the thing - I can't think of anything to write. I have an enormous writer's block on my head. And, I've been flirting with a migraine for two days.
I *might* have the beginnings of a migraine because spring break for all four of my kids is next week and they all have had spring fever since the middle of February (what???). They've taken to saying school is almost over. Frankly, I don't know what that means.
I think it means that their brains are already on vacation and when this happens monkey brain takes over. And, monkey brain (as you should know if you've ever been to the zoo) causes the body to not behave at all.
I have found these last few days that it takes tremendous effort to want to be in the same room with all the kids at once. It's often felt like I think those reporters feel when they are broadcasting from the eye of the hurricane. I imagine they feel like it's difficult to talk or think, it's dangerous, and at any moment everything might blow.
Sample of our "dinner conversation" (if you can call it that). I suggested a family rule that we are all going to strive to keep: No interrupting. Why did I do that? Because I am a glutton for punishment. (I was interrupted about six times while making the rule.)
Girl 2: I did the P.E. challenge thing today and I did 24 sit-ups.
Me: Wow. 24? That's...
Girl 1: Not to be mean (which is what she now says instead of no offense because no offense "is in fact offensive") but, I doubt very much that you can do 24 sit-ups.
Me: That's great! Girl 1, stop being snotty.
Girl 2: I CAN TO DO 24 SIT-UPS.
Girl 3: I can do 24 sit-ups, too.
Girl 1 to Girl 3: Ha! Not to be mean, but I doubt you even know what a sit-up is. Because you're four!
Girl 3: NOT TO BE MEAN, BUT I DO KNOW WHAT A SIT-UP IS AND I CAN DO 24 SIT-UPS! In fact, I think I can do a million.
Girl 1: Hahahahaha! Not to be mean, but I know for fact that you can't even count to a million because you can't even count to TWELVE!
Girl 3 (in a high-pitched screamy voice): YOU ARE A MEANIE PETE AND I DON'T LIKE YOU AND I AM NOT GOING TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE AFTER DINNER WHEN I AM DOING PUSH UPS!!!
Does this make you want to be with these people? And furthermore, does this make any sense?
So, that's why I have a big writer's block that is painful and makes my head hurt. And, also it might be dangerous and at any moment knock over this tiny bridge on which I am standing.