Friday, November 16, 2012

Because I need a platform.

In the spirit of bipartisanship (bi - what?  whatever.) and because I need your vote, I thought I would bring you a short list (I have real work to do, damn it) of what I'm promising in the next four years.

1.  I will somehow embarrass myself athletically most probably this will occur while running in my neighborhood.  (I can only hope the high school students who congregate at the bus stop will not be involved.)

2.  I will leave approximately 15 loads of laundry in the washer overnight thereby leaving my family to go commando.

3.  I will cook approximately 4000 meals for six people - two of which will be eaten with no complaints from anyone.

4.  I will balance the budget numerous times only to find:  the washing machine is broken, hubby has 27 crumpled up, torn, and stained gas receipts in his console, my kids' feet are bigger (all of them), someone has a birthday (damn them), Christmas is weeks away, or someone requires urgent medical night...on a weekend...that falls on a a leap year.

5.  Instead of wearing the outfit I bought directly off the store model, I will mistakenly think I have a sense of fashion and make a slight deviation.  This will result in me making a fashion faux paux that will haunt me for months to come.

6.  I will attempt cake pops and fail miserably.  Then I will do it again.  And maybe again.

7.  I will procrastinate on the internets until I have to stay up all night finishing work, or something I promised the kids, or making cake pops, or wrapping presents, or re-washing clothes.  (That might happen today.)

8.  I will have multiple hair-brained ideas of how I can make more money and of what I can be when I grow up.  I will tell these to hubby with my excited voice.  He will just stare at me.

9.  The kids (and hubby and I) will take turns having bad days so that we will have 1460 days of someone having a melt-down.

10.  I will spend approximately two full years preparing myself for about 47 times I will be seen in a bathing suit.

I'm committed!

Have a great weekend.


WeezaFish said...

Love you Monica, ME TOO!!!

Monica said...

@weeza - awesome. i will NOT be alone. ;) love you, too!

jamiew said...

this is why i piggybacked on this ticket.
(and you know i've kept your fashion blunders in check and will continue to do so)

Monica said...

@jamiew - you've been such a support these last few months during the campaign. blah, blah, blah. i figure you are at least in on #8. amirite?

jamiew said...

#8 pegged, spot on.

Leigh Powell Hines said... easy to do. Hope you are well and Happy Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

Hey, if I did all of that during the last 4 years, where do we go now?

Monica said...

@leigh - procrastination: i can't quit you. @whatimeant2say - if we promised NEW things that no one had ever done before, we wouldn't be politicians...or pretending to be politicians....or something. ;o)

Klementine said...

:) Hilarious. I hope everything goes better for you than your predictions...but if not please blog about them hilariously.

Monica said...

@klementine - i do too, but i know my limitations, so i'm not too full of hope and change. ;o)