A Day in the Life's Top I Am Thankful For List of All Time (you're welcome)

So, it's one day before Thanksgiving.  Not my favorite holiday.  It's not that I'm not thankful.  I am.  Most of the time.  Sometimes.  Sometimes when I'm in a good mood.  So, thankfulness might not be my strong point.  But, I can roll my tongue!  That's something like a strong point, right?

Anyway, here we are.  Mere hours away from gorging in front of a football game and then reheating leftovers a few hours later because your eating schedule was all screwed up and something in your brain mistakes nausea for hunger.  Did I mention I abhor football?

I thought you might need another Thankful List since there aren't quite enough floating around on Facebook.  So, for the love of God, be thankful.

Before I came up with this year's list, I did a little research.  I know.  You're shocked, right?  Rest assured, I went to school.  I know how to do research.  I Googled "holiday eating tips" (because Lord knows I could use a few) and this little gem popped right up.  Does the Internet know me?

I admit, I didn't thoroughly read it, but the title intrigued me.  Of all time?  Really?  Were Jesus and the disciples worried about holiday weight gain, too?  Isn't that just a tad pretentious?

So, not to be a one-upper (but, I *kinda* am) here's my list:

A Day in the Life's Top I Am Thankful For List of All Time (you're welcome)

1.  I am thankful for the person that invented Spanx and I'd like to send him/her a piece of the chocolate pecan pie that I made this afternoon.

2.  I am thankful I had all the ingredients in the recipe for said chocolate pecan pie that I googled seconds before making it this afternoon, thereby avoiding another trip to the grocery store and possibly having to punch someone in the face (because that's probably not a very thankful thing to do).

3.  I am thankful that my toilet hasn't overflowed the last ten times Girl 3 has flushed about a half a roll of toilet paper down it.

4.  I am thankful I have a toilet.

5.  I am thankful that I didn't die for all the times I didn't send emails to nine people when the email said I would die if I didn't send it to nine people.   

6.  I am thankful that nearly everyone in my family loves football and I hate it because it will make it easier on my conscience to sit at the table by myself and eat a third piece of chocolate pecan pie.

7.  I am thankful that I only have to write a list of what I am thankful for once a year.

8.  I am thankful my kids' teachers still speak to me.

9.  I am thankful I don't homeschool.

10.  I am thankful for all the witty people that put adult references in kids' movies.  I kinda want to send them some pie, too.

I think next year I'll just make lots of pies and send them out to random people that I want to thank.  (That *might* be easier than making this list.)

Happy Thanksgiving, friends!  If you brave Black Friday, try not to get trampled.  Or shot.