Wednesday, November 21, 2012

A Day in the Life's Top I Am Thankful For List of All Time (you're welcome)

So, it's one day before Thanksgiving.  Not my favorite holiday.  It's not that I'm not thankful.  I am.  Most of the time.  Sometimes.  Sometimes when I'm in a good mood.  So, thankfulness might not be my strong point.  But, I can roll my tongue!  That's something like a strong point, right?

Anyway, here we are.  Mere hours away from gorging in front of a football game and then reheating leftovers a few hours later because your eating schedule was all screwed up and something in your brain mistakes nausea for hunger.  Did I mention I abhor football?

I thought you might need another Thankful List since there aren't quite enough floating around on Facebook.  So, for the love of God, be thankful.

Before I came up with this year's list, I did a little research.  I know.  You're shocked, right?  Rest assured, I went to school.  I know how to do research.  I Googled "holiday eating tips" (because Lord knows I could use a few) and this little gem popped right up.  Does the Internet know me?

I admit, I didn't thoroughly read it, but the title intrigued me.  Of all time?  Really?  Were Jesus and the disciples worried about holiday weight gain, too?  Isn't that just a tad pretentious?

So, not to be a one-upper (but, I *kinda* am) here's my list:

A Day in the Life's Top I Am Thankful For List of All Time (you're welcome)

1.  I am thankful for the person that invented Spanx and I'd like to send him/her a piece of the chocolate pecan pie that I made this afternoon.

2.  I am thankful I had all the ingredients in the recipe for said chocolate pecan pie that I googled seconds before making it this afternoon, thereby avoiding another trip to the grocery store and possibly having to punch someone in the face (because that's probably not a very thankful thing to do).

3.  I am thankful that my toilet hasn't overflowed the last ten times Girl 3 has flushed about a half a roll of toilet paper down it.

4.  I am thankful I have a toilet.

5.  I am thankful that I didn't die for all the times I didn't send emails to nine people when the email said I would die if I didn't send it to nine people.   

6.  I am thankful that nearly everyone in my family loves football and I hate it because it will make it easier on my conscience to sit at the table by myself and eat a third piece of chocolate pecan pie.

7.  I am thankful that I only have to write a list of what I am thankful for once a year.

8.  I am thankful my kids' teachers still speak to me.

9.  I am thankful I don't homeschool.

10.  I am thankful for all the witty people that put adult references in kids' movies.  I kinda want to send them some pie, too.

I think next year I'll just make lots of pies and send them out to random people that I want to thank.  (That *might* be easier than making this list.)

Happy Thanksgiving, friends!  If you brave Black Friday, try not to get trampled.  Or shot.


jamiew said...

remind me to do something for you to thank me for, and I adore any pumpkin variation of pie or pastry type baked item.

Nomads By Nature said...

Happy Thanksgiving!

TNMom said...

I love this very much!! Except the football thing, this describes me! (I heart football) Also? I don't do Christmas starting the very next day....Dec 10 is my go-time for Christmas! I *AM* thankful for you and this post! :) Cheers! Devan

Monica said...

@jamiew - ah. i am also thankful for thank yous FOR thank yous and then thank yous for those. so, i will bake for you and then you will bake for me to thank me for those and i will bake again for you to thank you for that. deal? @nomads - thanks so much, friend! y'all, too. xoxo. TNMom - have a great day! feast and be merry. and i hope your team wins or whatever an appropriate football thing to say is.

Shannon said...

Regarding number 9 ....Oh never mind I can't type that here, I will tell you in person later today!!!

I am thankful i don;t have to get on a another plane until January!

Anonymous said...

You and I really are kindred spirits. I hate football, too. I love your thankful list. It's hilarious! And, oh crap, is there seriously something called chocolate pecan pie? Do not tell Cap'n Firepants. I don't think he can handle that blissful combination without having a heart attack.

Monica said...

@whatimeant2say - a fellow texas football hater? i think i like you more. we are a rare breed. (it's because we are smart and witty...and skinny? maybe.) and, yes. there is such a thing as chocolate pecan pie. my hubby hated it, so i might just send it to the captain. i made a MINOR recipe substitution (DAMN IT)and apparently dark chocolate has a different melting point than regular chocolate and since i am not a cook i did not know this. was below "meh." but, because it has dark chocolate in it i am making a heroic attempt to eat it all. so.............where do you live???