So, it's one day before Thanksgiving. Not my favorite holiday. It's not that I'm not thankful. I am. Most of the time. Sometimes. Sometimes when I'm in a good mood. So, thankfulness might not be my strong point. But, I can roll my tongue! That's something like a strong point, right?
Anyway, here we are. Mere hours away from gorging in front of a football game and then reheating leftovers a few hours later because your eating schedule was all screwed up and something in your brain mistakes nausea for hunger. Did I mention I abhor football?
I thought you might need another Thankful List since there aren't quite enough floating around on Facebook. So, for the love of God, be thankful.
Before I came up with this year's list, I did a little research. I know. You're shocked, right? Rest assured, I went to school. I know how to do research. I Googled "holiday eating tips" (because Lord knows I could use a few) and this little gem popped right up. Does the Internet know me?
I admit, I didn't thoroughly read it, but the title intrigued me. Of all time? Really? Were Jesus and the disciples worried about holiday weight gain, too? Isn't that just a tad pretentious?
So, not to be a one-upper (but, I *kinda* am) here's my list:
A Day in the Life's Top I Am Thankful For List of All Time (you're welcome)
1. I am thankful for the person that invented Spanx and I'd like to send him/her a piece of the chocolate pecan pie that I made this afternoon.
2. I am thankful I had all the ingredients in the recipe for said chocolate pecan pie that I googled seconds before making it this afternoon, thereby avoiding another trip to the grocery store and possibly having to punch someone in the face (because that's probably not a very thankful thing to do).
3. I am thankful that my toilet hasn't overflowed the last ten times Girl 3 has flushed about a half a roll of toilet paper down it.
4. I am thankful I have a toilet.
5. I am thankful that I didn't die for all the times I didn't send emails to nine people when the email said I would die if I didn't send it to nine people.
6. I am thankful that nearly everyone in my family loves football and I hate it because it will make it easier on my conscience to sit at the table by myself and eat a third piece of chocolate pecan pie.
7. I am thankful that I only have to write a list of what I am thankful for once a year.
8. I am thankful my kids' teachers still speak to me.
9. I am thankful I don't homeschool.
10. I am thankful for all the witty people that put adult references in kids' movies. I kinda want to send them some pie, too.
I think next year I'll just make lots of pies and send them out to random people that I want to thank. (That *might* be easier than making this list.)
Happy Thanksgiving, friends! If you brave Black Friday, try not to get trampled. Or shot.