Thursday, August 23, 2012

While I Was Out

I've been in the Bahamas for the past week.  Just kidding.  We went on a family vacation up to North Texas.  It was awesome and I will have a post for you soon on the Intricacies of Traveling With Children (as soon as I can see the laptop over the loads of dirty laundry).  What is even more awesome is that my good friend, justahausweyef, has finally decided to write a guest post for me.  You can find her at that link, or if you want to check out her 18 genius Pinterest boards, check her out here:  Enjoy the read and I'll be back for good soon!

While you were out: Some reflections on my most epic yet un-eventful summer ever. 
by:  justahausweyef
 As I know you are fond of lists (and they are so much easier for me to create) I have come up with the following list of some discoveries, observations and somewhat useful information compiled from my lazy summer stay-cation. (these are not in any kind of rated or numerical order, only just as they come to my mind, which we know is wrought with alzheimer’s, A.D.D. and trivia.)

1.    I am terrifically calmed by buffing, shining and polishing my finger and toe nails.
2.    I have been really good about letting my kid experience most normal summer activities without worrying about possible injuries, ie: sunburn, bug bites, broken limbs and drowning) despite the fact that we are temporarily in the “un-insured” population.

3.    Cancer sucks. Yes, this is not original, but I have had far too many loved ones, close friends, and esteemed celebrities who are far too young, old with lust for life or just middle aged with much to share, who have been stricken or taken.

4.    8 year-olds going on 9 are full of piss and vinegar, and I would almost rather go through potty training instead.
5.    My husband and I don’t know what to do or have no interest in doing what we should  or could be doing, when our kid is safely being cared for and out of the house. Instead, we watch “grown-up TV” or go out with absolutely no agenda and bicker for entertainment.

6.    Seeing the new Battle Star Galactica on Netflix was like watching an epically long futuristic train-wreck with Edward James Olmos and lot’s of famous Canadians, and I loved it and loved making my husband watch it. (see number 5)
7.    Urban s’mores: microwave marshmallows on half a graham cracker for 10 seconds, while slathering Nutella on the other half, when it beeps, take ‘em out, slap ‘em together and it’s like camping without bugs.

8.    I am not sure which of these most compels me to shower immediately afterward: swimming in a public pool (human fluids) or the Guadalupe River (human and wildlife fluids).

9.    Really and truly, I am the only one of my friends who ALWAYS has band-aids, napkins and hand sanitizer at all times. (See number 9)

10.  Anderson Cooper is gay.

11.  Tragically, I was swept up in the K-Stew & R-Patz adultery scandal. (Google it, I don’t have time to explain, or rather, I’m too lazy to type it)

12.  I read some fine literature this summer. Oh, and some smutty trilogy, you may have heard of: 50 shades of mommy porn. (Google it)

13.  As of today, I have pinned 628 useful or hilarious bits of dribble on my 18 Pinterest boards. It probably would have been more but my husband has been home all summer, so I have had to pretend to look busy.

14.   I am good at shopping for everything and for anyone, but I have no talent for earning money while doing it.

15.  Texas is very hot. I have not found a solution for comfortably wearing shorts or skirts with my very sweaty thighs.  It is like my epic quest. (perhaps I should just join the YMCA)

16.   I would never make a good politician. But I make an awesome confidant. People are always telling me stuff, especially complete strangers in the frozen food aisle at the grocery store.

17.   I am almost as lost without DVR and Netflix as my kid is. I fear for my future  eldercare.

18.   Good friends are hard to come by, but crazy friends are easy to find. I will take  good crazy friends over crazy family any day.

19.   Never sit near a group of 10 or more moms on a Girls-Night-Out in a restaurant; it will ruin your meal, especially if you are a single 20-something and trying to “hook-up.”

20.   The more I worry about what to do with my free time, vacation, or quality family time, the more I don’t enjoy it. If I can go with the moment and let life happen, I find that I enjoy my wine and not need it so much.



Leigh Powell Hines (Hines-Sight Blog) said...

I hope you had a great vacation. I can't wait to hear about it.

Monica said...

@leigh - thanks! we did have a great time. just trying to recover a little and should have a post up soon. :o)

Shannon said...

OMG You're too funny. I really need to live nearer to you. Like on the same continent maybe.

So regarding your post:
4. So are boys who are 10 going on not going to live to see 11 if you don't stop arguing with your mother!
5. Ditto
7. Yummmm Works like a charm. Cody taught me this one. Did you know if you make peanut butter and nutella sandwich it tastes like a Reese's pb cup sandwich? He taught me that one too. He is so bad for my diet
12. You and Dave both. I haven't. I rolled my eyes at him and he threatened to spank me. I told him only if he wants to spend the next decade sleeping on a series of ugly gov't owned couches in a variety of countries.
18. Well that explains your long standing friendship with me. And also may explain why I live on a different continent than my family.
19. I need a GIRL'S NIGHT OUT! Should be in TX shortly before Thanksgiving. Start planning. Now. No seriously. Get busy. Beer and chimenea works fine for me. :)
20. Still working on that skill. Let me know if you have discovered the secret.

jamiew said...

@ Shannon: so Dave needs to start a book club!
Can't wait to see you, we should have a birthday party!

Shannon said...

Jamie, Oooohh Totally. YES! We need a birthday party.

Mind Margins said...

#17: In an effort to save money so we can fix up the house, my guy has decided we're getting rid of cable. No big deal, but he forgot to tell me the DVR was part of the cable package. I'm lost! BUT, now I have Netflix, so perhaps I can survive.
#4: I think girls going on 12 are the devil. Eye rolls, sighs, blank stares. I remember it all--and cringe at the memory.