Thursday, September 15, 2011

"These socks may or may not be clean."

Thank you for the honesty.  Now, you might think that statement came from the nine year old Boy.  But, no.  It came from the two year old baby.  And it made me want to share with you a Top Ten List I have been composing for a while. 

The Top Ten Ways You Know That Kid is a Fourth Child:

10.  She is TWO and had to be rushed to the ER after doing flips on a drainage ditch railing after seeing older siblings do it.  *Her parents may or may not have been watching her diligently.*
9.  She is TWO and can often be heard chanting, "I don't care, I don't care.  I'll pull down your underwear."  *Sometimes to her mother.* and *Sometimes in public.*
8.  She knows where the Give to Goodwill clothes bag is kept and frequently comes downstairs wearing 12 month size clothes when she is going to turn three soon.
7.  She often can be seen digging in her nose.  When questioned about it she says with complete certainty, "Bubba said there are treasures in there."
6.  She insists on practicing piano and doing her homework every night and if a comment is made about her not even playing piano or not even having homework she promptly throws a fit that makes even calm people want to hit their heads with heavy books till they pass out.
5.  She can often be seen and/or heard having long and detailed conversations with other children through the crack under the closed (and barricaded) door.
4.  She is two, yet she is often persuaded to do tasks which other birth order children would not do.  Such as:  asking mom if she and others can watch Sponge Bob, going back upstairs for the millionth time to retrieve a DSI that doesn't belong to her, reaching into the toilet to get our a matchbox car (that, again, does not belong to her), testing milk to see if it has gone bad, etc. ad nauseum.
3.   She does not speak in a normal voice.  She yells everything due to the fact that no one ever lets her talk.  She often and proudly tells her mom, "Daddy says I learned to whisper in a helicopter."
2.  Because no one ever lets her speak she is developing a stutter and is told by her older siblings (as they shake their heads and sigh deeply), "Sounds like you are going to need Speech."

And the number one reason you know that kid is a fourth child:

1.  Her mother has no idea WHERE she puts her dirty socks so when she comes downstairs holding a pair of socks the mother always asks, "Are these clean?' (after a quick sniff test which would indicate probably not) that TWO YEAR OLD child responds cheerfully, confidently, and very loudly, "These socks may or may not be clean."


Shannon said...

OMG! That's Gray to a tee! It ain't getting any better girl. That child is going o be the death of me yet!

Josee said...

Learned to whisper in a helicopter ... that's awesome! you're husband sounds about as witty as mine. and you're daughter sounds like she can totally hold her own.