After he asked in a way-too-happy-voice, "What's Going On?"
My demise came Friday (yes, just one day after my birthday - a day of immense pain and suffering) morning while my nine year old son and I were watching Sponge Bob (how quickly my parenting has nose dived into the toilet) waiting for the washing machine repairman.
It was a good news/bad news kind of day. Good news: Washer fixed! Bad news: Mom (me) on her death bed!
Unfortunately I had to take all four kids to the grocery store Friday afternoon when I felt green, achy, and a little like a bug that's already been hit by your windshield. And as luck would have it I saw someone I knew when I looked like death warmed over. She was chipper, bathed, smelled good, and wished me the best (thanks, friend - you know who you are and I know you are reading this).
By Friday night all I could do was walk around like a zombie asking, "Have you brushed your teeth? Yes? Well then get in bed! What? I DON'T CARE THAT IT'S ONLY 5:00 AND YOU HAVEN'T EATEN DINNER!!!"
By Saturday morning I could not move. I am not being figurative. I am being literal. I could not move. I am no sissy to pain, either. As many of my close friends will tell you - I have birthed three of my four kids The Natural Way and I was running marathons shortly thereafter (well, that's not true - but you get the picture). This Whatever It Is was killing me.
Now, for me Saturday lasted about 46 hours. But, don't worry - I'll just sum it up for you. Try to keep up.
- Early morning trip to the emergency clinic where they told me it would be a five and a half hour wait. No thank you.
- Back home. Considered bathing and brushing my teeth. Decided against it.
- Called doctor.
- Went to bed.
- Woke up and was disappointed that I was still alive.
- Fed some hungry children lunch and went to pick up my meds and get a movie. Not in that order. Well, not sure what the order was because I am pretty sure I was hallucinating at that point.
- Took my prescription medication.
- Did a few loads of laundry.
- Went to bed.
- Woke up and considered brushing my teeth and bathing. Too much effort.
- Girls told me they felt awful.
- I went back to bed with girls.
- We all woke up around 4? 5? 6? I rushed them to the emergency clinic because they were both crying and had the chills.
- Was grossed out that I hadn't bathed or brushed my teeth earlier in the day.
- Waited two and a half hours with two girls that had the chills and were starving to be told that they tested positive for strep and one had an ear infection and the other one might have the flu.
- Rushed them home and sent hubby to pick up more meds.
- Dosed everyone. (Good thing we don't have pets.)
- Put everyone to bed.