Sunday, June 23, 2013

Sorry, y'all. I'm busy procrastinating....I mean drinking....I mean procrastinating.

So, it's been a family filled summer so far.  Here's what I've learned.

1.  Someone made a wine for me.  (Not to be confused with a whine for me.  Someone made that for me a long, long time ago.)

Notice the little person relaxing at her desk?  She's clearly a woman.  To which I say, "Huh?"  In my extensive research and experience, men procrastinate far more than women.  Amirite?

2.  I've lost weight.  Maybe.  My swimsuit bottoms almost fell off in the pool today.  This could be because:  I have lost weight.  My swimsuit bottom elastic has completely lost its elasticity.  Or, I am a really bad swimmer.  I am going with - I lost weight.  So, yay!  And, boo.  Because now I have to shop again.

3.  Because during the first week of summer our kids were turning into computer screens, communicating with acronyms, and pausing their games only to toilet themselves and eat, hubby and I decided we had to somehow limit their technology use.

We have now limited it to the point where our kids hate us so much they might move out before school starts again in August. 

We arrived at this status via a surprising move last Sunday evening, when we voted in my family.  The two options up for vote were:  1.  Kids will use technology only on Saturday and Sunday for unlimited use.  There will be no technology use Monday - Friday.  Or, 2. kids use technology for one hour a day at the same hour Sunday - Saturday.  The kids voted for Option 2, and for one full week we have battled and argued each and every day about how many minutes are in a freaking hour.

Seriously?  Tuesday I thought Girl 2 was having the DTs because we had to stop her game and leave the house during her "one hour."

4.  I am addicted to Daft Punk.  My kids are happy, but a little concerned about me.  Have a listen and you'll soon be addicted, too.  You're welcome.

5.  I have been unable to run with puppy because he threw my hip out pulling me and I am recovering with large doses of Aleve, chocolate, and beer.  So, I am getting no exercise and gaining weight.  And he is getting no exercise and acting like a maniac.  This has created a vicious cycle similar to drug dependency.  He is hyper because no one is exercising him and no one wants to exercise him because he's too damn hyper.  Cheesus.

Hubby had a moment of pure genius earlier and declared, "We should have named puppy "Technology" because then everyone would want to play with him."

That, folks, has been my summer thus far.  How have you been?


jamiew said...

On the plus side, if you keep "procrastinating", perhaps you won't need to shop for new swim bottoms.

Monica said...

good point.

Megly Mc said...

I ban all electronics from Sunday night-Friday night, during the school year, so I'm afraid I'm letting them act like little crackheads right now.

And I LOOOOOVE Daft Punk...they're so kickass that it's a little frightening.

If you want chocolate and beer...swing by...I have extras.

Leigh Powell Hines said...

This post is great. And I"m right there with you on the technology. It's bad.

I have the opposite problem with my swimsuit bottoms. Ha!

Team Suzanne said...

We go with one hour a day on screens and none on weekends, but get tripped up with the kids because they interpret the one hour a day as a "god given inalienable right" rather than a "maximum that applies if we're bored and have nothing else going on that day".

Other than that--good summer so far.

Anonymous said...

I choose wine solely based on its name. We have a bottle of Irony right now that I just can't bring myself to drink.

Anonymous said...

it's the other way around here, I use too much technology that my kid hates it when I forget to give her her eggs.

Monica said...

@meglymc - daft punk: play, rewind, play, rewind, play, rewind, play repeat. yesterday the kids threatened to get out of the car and walk. @leigh - had your summer dessert this week. DELISH! hubby said it wasn't sweet enough and only two kids liked it. but, I LOVED it. @team Suzanne - thanks for the read and comment. my quest to control technology time has taken YEARS off my life. @whatimeant2say - i'll take a large glass of, that is. back in the day hubby and I used to drink canai wine. a lot. when anyone would ask what kind of wine he liked he would say, "'canai' as in 'can I have another glass?'"

Monica said...

@asconstantaschange - thanks for the read and comment. feeding the children ranks high on the "to do" list. right under "check facebook," and "pin some recipes you'll never cook."

MindMargins said...

Our hyper puppy has grown into a 70 pound "high energy" four year old. I had to give up on running with her after she nearly tore my arm off trying to chase a squirrel. She needs her daily run more than any of us humans. I can so relate to your puppy trauma.

Monica said...

@mindmargins - check today's post for the update to the puppy running. sadly, we are failing everything, but still hoping for a successful end!

Megly Mc said...

I saw this and immediately thought of you.