Sunday, June 2, 2013

I'd like to thank my mom and God...oh, wait....

Someone thinks I'm "interesting" y'all!  Wheeeeee! 

I'm arousing?  Excuse me while I take my clothes off and roll around in some Vaseline.  Wait, no I'm absorbing.  Like Bounty!

1.  Thank you Weezafish for this loverly award!  I love you and I think it's high time I told you that every time I type your name I am singing this in my head: 

Please go check her out, you guys because in addition to her ear-worm name, she has a delightful accent, a truly interesting background, and she moonlight writes for a bunch of people including a matchmaking place because she's sexy like that. 

2.  Five random facts about me (because it's all about me):
  • I saw Barry Manilow in concert because I wanted to.
  • I want to stab myself a little every time my boy child starts a story with, "Mom, y'know on Minecraft where......"
  • My last Google search:  The Millionaire Matchmaker.  I tried to tie that into Weeza somehow, but I've clearly not had enough coffee.
  • In my TV life, I have a thing for stabby, ex-addict detectives who are trying to make it right.
  • I've never kept a plant alive for more than one week.  I've done considerably better with my children.
3.  I nominate these people for the Interesting Blog award (it was hard for me to pick partly because I read too many blogs than I should, and partly because many of the people I read have a $hit ton of awards):

My five questions for you three (here's where it gets confusing and hairy - try to pay attention):
  • Have you ever had a hernia?
  • Scorpion bite or brown recluse bite?
  • Scorpion song or Justin Bieber song?
  • If you could put two pop star singers together to make a hit record (that, frankly, just frightens everyone), who would it be?
  • If you don't know the answers to any of the above, what do you know?
My answers to Weeza (CHEESUS - when does it end???  I just want this blog post to end???  If that's what you are saying, remember):

1.  When did you start Blogging and why?  I started blogging while nursing my third child.  Literally.  I needed something to do with my hands.
2. What treat or pamper could you just not do without?  A shower.  At least every other day.
3. Which tune would, without question, have you leaping to your feet and strutting to the dancefloor?
Um, yeah.  I don't dance.  But, this makes me chair dance a little (similar, but not the same as lap dance).
4.Imagine; You have an entire weekend free, nothing on your To Do List, millions in the bank and only yourself to please. What do you do?  Um.  Read blogs?
5. Where did you put your keys?!  Right next to hubby's so that we'll be able to find his quickly later.  (You're welcome.)
4.  Conditions and rules, you guys.  (Just pretend I'm giving you a new car, but you have to pay the taxes on it still, okay?  Only, you can't really drive this award, and it probably doesn't have that new car smell.)

  • Claim your prize and display it on your shelf or if your shelf is too crowded, just put it in your closet and then when you are de-cluttering in a few years you can give it to Goodwill.  It will one day end up being someone's ashtray.  And, send me a thank you with five dollars.......oh, wait............that wasn't part of it?
  • Tell us five tantalizing facts about yourself.
  • Nominate three more unsuspecting yet well-deserving people.
  • Ask them five questions.
  • Tell them they won and give them the terms and conditions.  Ask them for ten dollars and send me five of those.
Whew!  Done.  It's just like they say, you guys.  Being famous is hard work.


Megly Mc said...

I feel so honored! :) And, yes, I've written a book, but no one has been drunk or stupid enough to publish it yet. Here's to hoping someone in publishing gets a nice non-life threatening brain injury!

Have you ever had a hernia?
-No, I refuse to pick up shit heavy enough to hurt me.

Scorpion bite or brown recluse bite?
-I've been stung by scorpions (the really shitty kind, too) twice. They're not so much dangerous as they are painful, but spiders will kill you, man.

Scorpion song or Justin Bieber song?
-Scorpion song...on principal.

If you could put two pop star singers together to make a hit record (that, frankly, just frightens everyone), who would it be?
-Chris Brown and Pink...because I'm pretty sure she could and WOULD beat his ass to a pulp.

If you don't know the answers to any of the above, what do you know?
-I can't find my own ass with two hands and a flashight...I know that.

Monica said...

@megly mc - congratulations on not publishing a book and having enough sense not to have had a hernia (not that they go hand in hand...although they might?)! I have not published a book either (nor have I written any of the words on actual paper, I prefer to keep the famous award winning novel locked tight in my mind until the world is ready). and might I suggest replacing the batteries in the flashlight? that *might* help. but, then again if your ass is a lost cause, it might just lead to more frustration and cursing. p.s. I am adding you to my blogroll (official stalking has begun).

Gretchen said...

Thank you, monica! An a award AND a take home test!

So funny about Pink kicking chris brown's ass. My immediate thought on this question was Frank Sinatra (ok, he's dead, but I've been listening to the Siriusly Sinatra channel on my free trial period of Sirius Radio and on there he's alive and well) and Michael Buble because I was sure Frank would get his boys to kick Michel's ass for ripping off his act.

Nomads By Nature said...

The "Minecraft" monologues plague my home as well. UGH! I'd pray for it to end, but I know that some other horrible teen boy topic will just replace it and I will be at the start again of, "Mom, you know on _____"

Monica said...

@Gretchen - really, the pair ups this year in music just got so ridiculous. the ones that make me chuckle the most are the rap/country ones. how about ice-T and carrie underwood...or, has that been done? yeesh. and the keeping up. it's so time consuming. @nomads - have you seen "super 8?" it's not a great movie, but if you have middle school boys at home - it is HILARIOUS. oh my gee. it made me laugh so hard because it's just middle school boys at their best. I thought of the minecraft thing many times during it.

Nomads By Nature said...

SUPER 8 - YUP. But I'll take that and several hours of Minecraft updates over the 7th day of clanging pots at bedtime with these Turkish protests.

Megly Mc said...

Official stalking!!! Do I get a certificate!? I totally want a certificate. I'm such a lame-o, I'll probably send you an itinerary. *sigh*

WeezaFish said...

Woo hoo interesting blogger lady, woo hoo! Love your answers, thank you. You hear that? When you type my name? I'm bound to start hearing it too now. Let me check, Weeza. Weeeeza. Yup :)