Wednesday, October 24, 2012

"Mrs. DayintheLife, you're no Jack Kennedy."

In case you missed my first political analysis, and in the spirit of more patriotism *gag*, I bring you:

Other Ways In Which My Life Parallels The Lives of Those Running for Political Office

1.  Follow-ups suck.

2.  The nature of questions that might come from my constituents and their appointed debate moderators are secret and often sneak up on me like stealth bombers.

3.  I, too, need to be reminded occasionally that we are not living in the age of horses and bayonets.

4.  I often start my debate responses like this, "You need to do five things.  1.  Take your hands off your sister's neck.  2.  Listen to momma.  3.  blah, blah, blah."  And, similar to the campaigners, by "3" no one is listening to me anymore anyway.

5.  Often when I start talking, my audiences' eyes glaze over and their mouths gape open.

6.  I spend a lot of my time refuting claims from others.

7.  Sometimes I sweat like a heroin addict.  (Although, usually it's from exercising, not debating.)

8.  Frequently my only strategy is to accuse the other side of outright lying and I frequently demand fact checks.

9.  I, pretty much, think everything I say is the gospel truth and that my record reflects virtue, the highest of ethics, and a high-held commitment to my constituents.  And, I pretty much have no idea what that really means.

10.  I don't care if you live in a mansion or in the ghetto as long as the yard sign in your yard has my name (and preferably my photo) on it.

11.  I constantly have to remind the faction that stands against me that attacking me is not an agenda.

12.  I think at some point I, too, have spoken these words, "We can't kill our way out of this mess."

My two minutes is up and I approve this message.  #teamDayintheLife


jamiew said...

should "gangnam style" be our anthem?

jamiew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mind Margins said...

Monica for president! I'd vote for you!

Monica said...

@jamiew - yes. and i would love for PSY? PSI? whoever that cute korean guy is - to play for us wherever we are campaigning. and, BTW, when do we start campaigning. and what are we running for? @mind margins - thanks. as soon as i decide what i am running for - i'll solicit your vote. ;o)

Shannon said...

LOL! I want the video of you and Jamie dancing gingham style!

Monica said...

@shannon - well, you know i can't dance. i am one body part from my neck to my knees. but i can chair dance the heck out of this song. i. love. it.

Anonymous said...

LOVE it!!!!!!!