Friday, June 29, 2012

Pinterest, You Lying BEEP!

This week has really taken its toll on me.  The kids behaved like they had just been released from a maximum security prison and were having the first round of freedom after 30 years.  So, basically it was a zoo (a zoo in which all the animals are on crack cocaine).  Seriously.

The Boy Child and Girl 2 fought constantly.  I felt like a referee and after about two days my bell to signal the next round had worn out.

By Wednesday I was a woman at the end of her rope.  Hubby got home and I gently unloaded on him (and by that I mean I got up really close in his face and whispered, "YOUR KIDS ARE MANIACS AND I AM GOING BATSH*T CRAZY.  SOMEBODY HELP ME.")  He decided I needed some R and R and booked me a trip to the Bahamas with some of my closest friends................oh, wait.  No, that didn't happen.

What did happen is that he took away all electronics, every single privelege, and swimming for all of Thursday.  What???  Swimming, too???  I know.  He's rough.

And you wanna know the crazy part (which is why I am actually able to type this post from my desk and not from some cozy sanitarium for women with four kids who drive her NUTS)?  It worked!  Thursday was a dream.  It started with another cake pop/donut holes attempt.  (I know, am I ca-razy?  Clearly, the answer is yes.)  AND ended with piano lessons.  There was minimal fighting and I got my second wind.  Finally. 

(I kinda wish my phone would have been charged or that I would have been able to find the actual camera when I made the donut holes because it was part drama, part hilarity, and part yummy.  More on that when I either attempt them again or go out and buy actual donut holes and photograph them for you.)

Today was also a dream.  We had a much needed relaxing day at the river and it was bliss (well, except for the part where I was still with four small people, not drinking an alcoholic beverage, and in South Texas and not the sandy beaches of Mexico).  KIDDING!  Kind of. 

It was perfect.  The kids are on DAY 2 of behaving like fairly normal people.  Success?  I THINK SO!

So, why is Pinterest a lying BEEP?  Well, because she is.

I love my readers and they are what sustained me (that and some dark chocolate and some Lite beer from Miller) through this Momority pledege week.

My last post was a cake pop rant and I just love what my readers commented.  Thank you.  Thank you the most for complimenting my somewhat pathetic pops.  You made my week.  Every time I could steal a minute from the complete chaos that was my living room and make it to my desk to check my emails, I would read a comment and be happy.  Then someone would throw a right hook, or pull someone's hair, or pinch someone hard enough to draw blood and I would have to go administer first aid, send short people to their rooms, and work on my discipline techniques (which are clearly lacking). 

Everytime I was ready to pack my bags and move to a home for aging moms I would think of this comment left by Rantings of a Stay At Home Mom (who, by the way, has an awesome blog and is a baker in a different class than I).  She said (among other nuggets of pure wisdom and genius), "Pinterest, you lying bitch." 

Seriously.  When you have a tough day this summer (which, if you have kids - you are gonna have a tough day this summer), I think we all can agree that this simple phrase will just make you smile and feel better.  About life and about yourself.  So, can I get an, "Amen?" 

Thank you.


Shannon said...

That week sounds remarkably our week, except I lost it big time and turned into a screaming shrew then when I went to my room to catch my temper looked out the freaking window and saw the gardeners and the guard staring at me, eyes HUGE but when they realized I saw them they scattered. Guess they were afraid they were next, not an invalid point. I think next summer we totally SHOULD book a girls retreat even if it is just a night at a hotel someplace in town, NO KIDS. David is making noises about bidding on Barbados. If we get you can come sit on the beach with me and drink beer while Dave deals with all the kids. We'll tall him the plan, later, like after you arrive.

Monica said...

hahahaha! k vote for barbados! sa-weet. THAT would be fabulous. i am sure dave and baby l. would get along great. ;o)

Mind Margins/Run Nature said...

I have to be really mean and say I love reading how parents go crazy with their kids during summer break. As a former teacher, on the last day of school when my students' parents looked at me with sad, panicked eyes because they were going to have to keep their kids happy/busy/out of their hair all summer, I loved handing their kids back to them and saying, very genuinely, in a calm voice, "They're all yours now. All summer." Then I would close the door and jump for joy doing the happy dance.

But, oh wait. I got my OWN kids back for the whole summer, too. No fair!

Believe me, the day will come when they'll be all grown up and you'll miss all those summers from hell. Really.

Monica said...

@oh, mind margins. you are crackin' me up. yes, pre-kids i was a teacher. the last day i would try not to be too joyful. now that i have four small ones, i am slightly terrified of summer. but, i do usually spend about 90% of it enjoying myself.

jamiew said...

yes, pinterest pinners are all liars because they are all glued to their boards trying to out-pin each other with fabulous "summer activities" none of which will actually get done.
so, at least you're out in the trenches with the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

Amen, Sistah!

Monica said...

ah. nice to know i am not alone in my thinking.

Leigh Powell Hines said...

After we got back from the beach, my house seemed like the same way. Hoefully, it will be better this week. I feel your pain.

Monica said...

@leigh- we have had four great days now, so i am praying next week goes really well. same to you - friend!

Gretchen said...

Years from now, when your kids are grown, your brain will take pity on you and filter out all the bad stuff. You will be telling young mothers, "we ALL got a long in our family. Summer was one big love fest. What's wrong with you?"

Monica said...

@gretchen - truth in advertising? i don't know. my mom was pretty honest with me. course, she took one look at my kids and was like, "man, baby. i feel for ya." ;o)

My Froley said...

Haha poor you ! All parents have had those days (even with just one child!) so I totally sympathise. When this happens I get a burning rage bubbling up inside my stomach and by the time it reaches my head I just flip out (usually in an empty room away from the child). And it's just the worst. Glad they behaved like angels after it all. Tough punishment rocks.

Monica said...

@My Froley - thanks for the read and comment. :o)