Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Going Blind, Part 2

So, I'm fairly recovered from my trip out of town.  After washing for three days straight, I am fairly caught up on laundry.  I have had a chance to watch a few episodes of America's Got Talent, I have eaten a lot of my own cooking, and I have had a chance to sleep for a while.  That brings me to my second edition of how I nearly went blind. 

Don't worry.  It's short. 

1.  I hate eating out.  I know that's weird, too.  But, my germaphobia gets to me.  Again, I have no problem with germs I know and am a firm advocate of The Five Minute/Hour Rule.  It's germs I don't know that positively drive me batty.  I cannot stand fast food places.  It makes me insane to know that teenagers with budding hygiene habits are touching my food and when I finally get my "fast" food there are usually errors in what I actually ordered and invariably I get the person at the register who has a visible cold or possibly herpes.  It's not much easier for me at actual restaurants.  I have a few restaurants I have deemed "clean" and I generally stick to those.  (I didn't used to be this way.  I guess it's just a gem of getting old, watching too much Nightline:  Salmonella, and having four kids with limited hygiene habits.) 

So, while I was away from home, of course, I had to eat out a few times - in a place I don't know that well.  Ugh.  The first day I ate packaged food from the free breakfast at the hotel.  It was fine.  For lunch I decided to shop at IKEA, I got distracted (of course, it's IKEA!!), and then realized I only had about 20 minutes left to get back to the training before "lunch" was over.  I was having a craving for Chinese food - which is dangerous.  Chinese restaurants are always tough for me because I just don't trust them (sorry to the entire Chinese culture and please excuse my political incorrectness).  One time a million years ago I saw an episode of Behind The Kitchen Door and there was a dog in the kitchen of a local Chinese restaurant.  Since then I cannot eat at a Chinese place unless I personally inspect the kitchen (well, almost).  For years hubby tried to tell me, "WE have a dog in the kitchen!?"  But, then he stopped because it wasn't changing my mind in the least.

Fast forward to this past week and there I am craving Chinese.  I had never eaten at this particular Chinese fast food place (which will remain unnamed), so I decided to try it.  I am sorry I did.  By the time I got my food back to the hotel, I had about 10 minutes until the training was starting, and I was pretty hungry.  I was half way through my meal when I saw the long, dark brown hair.  I know it wasn't mine.  Mine was pulled back and mine is not curly.  At all.  At that moment I *kinda* wished I was blind so that I could just finish my meal.

2.  The above sign was posted in the "work-out" room where I ran every day I was there.  First of all, I love the "THANK YOU."  Nice touch.  I would've written that on the sign, had I written the sign.  Second of all, I am a rule follower and I have no desire to remove my top (or my shoes) while I am working out or in a public area.  So, while I am thankful for the reminder - it was really totally unnecessary........for me.

But, alas, all people are not rule followers, or they are blind and can't see the sign, or they are illiterate and can't read the sign.  I think the Man with Man Boobs who needed some sun was just not a rule follower.  I, obviously, could not photograph him.  But, he *kinda* looked like this: 

Photo courtesy of  And, BTW, do NOT google "man boobs."

I *kinda* wanted to poke my eyes out with sharp sticks.  And, it was kind of unfair.  I followed the rules and kept my shirt on.  You're welcome, Man Boob Man.  He did not.  I call, "Unfair!"

There you have it, dear readers - how I almost went blind, but didn't.  Happy travels!  I hope you are more successful on your summer trips away from home.  I am wary of my next trip.  Can you really blame me?


Angela said...

I love Chinese food, but once I got to the bottom of the rice and there was a big, fat grub. I was eating in the restaurant, and when I showed it to the staff at the counter they all just laughed and nodded their heads. I still love Chinese food, but I always stir the rice around before the first bite!

Monica said...

@angela - oh my god. i am not sure i would be able to ever eat rice again. yes, i love chinese food (hubby and i joke that we are part italian and part chinese - we are both hispanic!), but i am much more cautious than i used to be. ;o)

Anonymous said...

ooh yuck. Never eating in a restaurant again. Or going anywhere that I might have to see man boobs. At all. Ever.

Monica said...

@whatimeant2say - listen - it makes me not want to travel...or workout. ;o)

Gretchen said...

Angela, I didn't think it was possible for anything to ruin a breakfast of coffee and brownies--but you've proved me wrong! I think I'm going to be sick...

Once, we were digging into the bottomless salad bowl at Olive Garden and discovered a wad of shrimp tails. you know the remnants you have left after all the yummy shrimpy stuff has been eaten. I think someone had a bottomless plate of shrimp and the kitchen staff scraped the bowl into our salad and put more lettuce on top. We showed it to the waitress and she acted like, awesome! Aren't you lucky! No one in charge saw what the problem was. Needless to say, we have never returned to the Olive Garden.

Gretchen said...

These two posts are so funny! it was one thing after another...

Monica said...

wow. this is seriously a case where i was terribly horrified to read the comments. i am now scared to basically eat anywhere but my own kitchen. @gretchen - you have scared me off olive garden (and we just ate there - i kid you not) and angela has scared me off chinese for.........a long time. maybe i will save money? ;o)

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