Wednesday, December 28, 2011

If you've seen my willpower, please send it home.

Here we are in that wayward time between Christmas and New Year's Eve when everyone is trying to: 1.  Clean the house (or, in my case, figure out how long you can go without cleaning the house before people get tired of stepping in goo, moving boxes around to eat, or wearing semi-clean underwear), 2.  Lose weight (just so you can eat without guilt in four more days), 3.  Figure out new electronics (in our case that would be a Wii - I know, not new, but new to us), 4.  Return Christmas presents you didn't really want and replace them with more crap stuff you don't really want do want, and 5.  Really just hang on psychologically until New Year's Day when you can let loose, be justified with all the looming resolutions you need to crank out on, and look forward to returning back to "normal." 

Well, I just wanted to check in with you during this sensitive time and let you know what I am dealing with (because, in the end, it's all about me).

1.  I am dealing with resisting tons and tons of sweets and chocolate.  I *might* be addicted to sweets and I *might* need an intervention and 12 step program.  Seriously.  I cannot resist all this sugar.  I am powerless against it.  Here is what stares back at me when I look in my kitchen (warning:  this list is a little obscene):  chocolate covered pretzels, an assortment of chocolate treats from a Hershey's bag, pecan sugar cookies, Christmas sugar cookies, fudge, cookies from the sweet neighbors delivered last night (because we didn't have enough), turtle pie (which is a little like heaven), Lindor chocolates, and some little green and red M&M's that are very handy and melt in your mouth not in your hands.  I have often justified eating all of these sweets by saying to myself that the sooner I eat them the sooner I will not have to deal with them anymore. 
2.  I am also dealing with lots of regular food that is not healthy.  Leftover ham (you know how much I love ham), chips of every variety, Chex Mix, and an assortment of nuts.  I justify eating this food by saying that it's healthier than eating all the food in #1.  Pretzels and Chex cereal are almost fruits and vegetables, right?
3.  I am dealing with wanting to drink lots of beer.  Partly because it's "vacation" and partly because the Wii has been running 24/7 since Santa brought it.
4.  Speaking of the Wii - I am dealing with it.  I am not a gamer, the music is annoying (but addicting), and I am not a gamer.
5.  I am dealing with the inability to exercise effectively.  This is largely (no pun intended) due to the fact that I have gained about 10 pounds and can no longer support the weight of my body.

So, in a nutshell (Which reminds me I am also tempted by a variety of nuts??? DID I SAY THAT???), if you find my willpower wandering around - SEND IT BACK.  I NEED it.  Please and thank you!


Shannon said...

There is no will power in the in between days, which is of course why I started early on my New Years resolutions and am dieting like a mad woman and breaking out the yoga videos twice a day. I am a sucker for punishment.

Monica said...

@Shannon - oh man. i have been trying to exercise. but, that's as far as it's gotten. we just got home from olive garden. yeah, that was a lot of calorie expense right there. :o( here's hoping january will motivate me.

Karey said...

I can't stop laughing! I say the same thing to myself, "The sooner I eat it, the sooner I don't have to deal with it looking at me, begging me to eat it." And that leads to the sooner I can work it off, etc.

Monica said...

@karey - it's a vicious circle that can never be broken....

Party of Three said...

Send it up to Steve. He feels the same way and will eat it all for you, just to save himself from the temptation. ;)

Monica said...

@party of three - next time i see steve - he's gonna be loaded down. ALL the sweets to him. it's just horrible - i basically HAD to eat gingerbread men for breakfast and cheese smothered yummo nachos for lunch - with a lot of chex mix in between for good measure. :o(

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