Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Families with last names R-Z will have to wait until next Christmas.

Christmas comes on December 25th every year.  So, it's a little incomprehensible and unsettling why every year December 20 rolls around and I still have a list of 150 things left to do before the 25th.  It *could* have something to do with my procrastination abilities.  Like right now, for example.  I am supposed to be working on my annual family calendar - which was due to the printer yesterday.  The printer loves me so she gave me two extra days to finish (Family if you are reading this - I am sorry.  I $uck.)  So, I could be doing the calendar.  Or, I could be finishing paperwork from working today.  Or, I could be doing one of the prints in the pile of prints that lay taunting me on my desk.  Or, I could be mixing some cookie dough so that Santa's cookies will actually be ready before he comes down the chimney.  Or, I could be doing the rest of our Christmas cards.  But, I am blogging.  So, it goes.  When I am hard pressed to get things done I find at least 20 other super important things that are more pressing.  This list usually includes things like:  polish my nails, surf the net for random facts, examine the crises in the Middle East, attempt to begin a historical novel (I hate historical novels), reteach myself knitting, pin cool stuff on Pinterest, etc., etc.  THAT is the long reason of why I am bringing you a quick little list of:

Random Things You Might Need To Know Five Days Before Christmas

1.  It is harder to blog my one and only son's cherished birthday celebration than it is to do a procrastination blog.  Sorry.  I might get it done sometime before his 11th birthday.

2.  Consider this one a PSA freebie.  (You're welcome.)  Generally I am a fan of Christmas programming (Who doesn't need for their kids to watch Rudolph like zombies while they are frantically doing Christmas cards?).  This year I stumbled across what sounded like a great Christmas show my kids had never seen, Rudolph and The Flight Before Christmas (not to be confused with the traditional Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer).  Instead of zombie children and a nice break for me to get more Christmas crap stuff done, what I got were questions about:  fatherless children, sex before marriage, and living with only one parent.  Merry Christmas to me!  A trailer stating the following would have been super great.
"This show examines the life of a reindeer named Rudolph whose mother and birth-father had premarital unprotected sex one night during a 'flying fling.'  Little Rudolph goes in search of his birth-father who does not know his mother even got knocked up and wants nothing to do with him anyway.  Wolves which are evil and anti-Christmas decide to eat Santa and his reindeer.  All ends well when the chipmunk (Was it a chipmunk?  It's always hard to tell with animation.) decides that he has been a better father to Rudolph than Rudolph's own scum-bag father."
I personally want to thank ABC for teaching my three year old about vicious wolves that eat Santa and reindeer who father illegitimate children.  As far as a rating on this one - I'm not sure I was mature enough to watch it.

3.  My three year old displayed once again how she is headed down a path of destruction and demise when she refused to be a shepherd in the school pageant and insisted she was an angel.  Her reasons?  Shepherds are ugly.  Shepherds just watch Jesus' sheep.  Shepherd costumes are ugly.  Shepherds don't have stars.  Angels are sparkly.  Angels are beautiful.  She is an angel.  Blech.  Who are her parents???  Why can't they control her???

4.  Before my bedazzling cookie class, I made some extra Christmas cookies to frost and decorate later.  Later as in the next day or the day after that.  They have all been eaten.  Unfrosted.  Undecorated.

5.  And most sadly in my random list is the fact that families with last names from R-Z really get the shaft.  You guys probably won't get a Christmas card from me this year.  I go in order of my address book (yes, I still have one of those) and this year I got to "Q" and stopped.  I haven't started again and I doubt I will.  So, if you are a friend and you are a "R-Z," MERRY CHRISTMAS!  You got a post instead of a card - consider yourself lucky!

Countdown:  FIVE, my friends.  Peace out.


Hines-Sight said...

Love the shepherd stuff. Funny.

Christmas Cards...here's what I do...start out by sending one to people who sent me first...I then eventually finish. I've decided I'm done. :)

Merry Christmas!

Monica said...

Leigh - Have a great Christmas! I like your Christmas card plan! May give that one a try. ;o)