Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I'm thankful for the bras at Nordstroms. Or, let me be honest.

I will risk being painfully honest with you today.  I love the trivial and hate the sentimental.  I have such mixed feelings on the I Am Thankful posts that you can find on Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and sometimes people's underwear (Just kidding.  I think.) this time of year.  Part of me says, "I try to be thankful each and everyday so why the need to do it in November?"  The other part of me says, "Soooooooooo ridiculously sappy..........and yet - I don't want everyone to know think I am a total cynic."  And the other part of me says, "Good Grief!  What am I thankful for???"  And the other part of me says, "You are Sybil."

So, the day before Thanksgiving I usually find myself frantically trying to think of 10 things I am thankful for for the sake of not wanting to be a cynic and yet not wanting to sound disgustingly sentimental.  Seems you are stuck with This and please know that This took me longer to think of than most blog posts - so, HAPPY THANKSGIVING:

1.  I am thankful for hair dye.  My mom passed down the Early Gray Hair gene to me and I have been gray since...........I have been gray a long time.  Thank you, mom.  I hate it.  I hate gray hair.  Last night I had my hair did, as I always do, and poof! it's gone.  So yippee!  I am thankful.
2.  I am thankful for beer.  It is the great equalizer, it deadens my senses sometimes when I need it (don't call the Depression Hotline - I am just being honest), it makes me laugh harder and more frequently, and it goes great with my favorite foods.  And I am thankful.
3.  I am thankful for friends with good taste because I have none.  You know who you are and I am thankful for you.  Otherwise I would live in a totally mismatched home (as I did for several years), and I would look like Cyndi Lauper (only without the fame to keep it all together).
4.  I am thankful for sarcasm and humor.  They complete me, and have gotten me out of a lot of Tight Spots.  (In case you never noticed.)
5.  I am thankful God gave me a son who at nine reads the paper daily.  That is just a sight that makes my heart smile no matter how pissy I am feeling when I find black smudge marks everywhere.
6.  I am thankful I am not in therapy.  I may need therapy, but I choose to self-analyze and for that, I am thankful.
7.  I am thankful Girl 1 is a wordsmith and loves to write.  That makes my heart smile, too.
8.  I am thankful for the dentist who said to me, "Well, baby *might* not need braces."  Right after telling me the other three definitely would.
9.  I am thankful for Girl 2 who has an uncanny and quite funny ability to impersonate the friends and neighbors (sorry, friends and neighbors).  It gives me hope that there might just be a famous comedian in the family thereby making having the four kids totally worthwhile.  KIDDING!  Kind of.
10.  I am thankful that you know me well enough to know that I am inherently thankful for all the sentimental crap everything else.

Please and thank you.  That is all.  Amen.


Shannon said...

Isn't Nordstoms the best?? Currently I am Thankful that my mom taught me to cook and garden so that tonight we had pizza for which I grew the darn tomatoes to make the sauce accompanied by artichokes that I grew from seed and homemade ranch dressing for which i grew the chives. I didn't make the cheese so don't ask (See I get the sarcasm) Everyone except Grasyon liked the artichokes. I think I should have named him Mikey because he hates everything except Life cereal (and candy).

Tomorrow we are going to eat until we explode. Happy Thanksgiving and happy B-day to E. Off to write my own slightly sarcastic and mostly sappy "thankful for" post.

jamiew said...

I am thankful for your kid playing with my kid, so I can have a peaceful moment to read your blog.

Monica said...

@shannon-thanks for giving me something to drool about. i will be eating virtual pizza later. and i will add this to the list of reasons why i wish you still lived here. @jamie - hahahahahaha. happy to be of service. did you see #3 was for you? xoxo

Hines-Sight said...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Love that your son reads the paper. Makes me think of Manny on Modern Family.

Monica said...

Leigh - I LOVE Manny and have only watched that show a handful of times. ;o) Hope you and your family have a blessed Thanksgiving. :o)