I promised a while back to provide you with restaurant reviews (not because I have a talent for this, but because I LOVE TO EAT). So here it goes! I bring you one of my all-time favorite restaurants:
Rosarios
http://www.rosariossa.com/
Click on that link and tell me you are not already hungry with that awesome music. Makes you want to eat some delish Mexican food, right? Well, friend, that is JUST the BEGINNING. Rosarios has been my haunt since the 80's (I'm not old - I was only like five then) when my hubby and I (child bride) stumbled upon it. In those days it was located further down Alamo Street and was a bit more of a "hole in the wall." But, we quickly realized that this was a gem of a restaurant.
Back then we loved to eat the shrimp nachos (often in the wee hours of the morning - - just sayin'). Rosarios was one of the first places here to make a mark on shrimp nachos. Really, what could be better? Shrimp - one of my favorite things, and nachos - another of my favorite things. Coupled with a giant schooner of beer or a fabulous margarita (which they are also famous for) and you have a late night snack for champions.
Well, I am posting this because I had an opportunity this past Saturday to share the delectable flavor of Rosarios with some out-of-towners (and some in-towners who did not yet know the greatness of this place). I loved, loved, loved that. AND they loved it, too - I am happy to say.
I am going to take some time to tell you about their amazing fish tacos. Do not try this at home - - you will be disappointed. Get in your car (or take a plane if you have to) and just visit the dang place. They bring two of them to you in aluminum foil. Love that. No sides of beans and rice because guess what - - You don't need them. I'll start with the tortilla. Corn. And hot so that it isn't hard, but soft and pliable which you need in order to wrap it so you don't lose any of the contents (that would be sinful). Tilapia. That's the fish. And it's marinated (I think - I am not a professional reviewer, just a professional eater) then grilled so that it has a slight but not overpowering flavor. I have tried many times to replicate this fish grilling thing and well......it's easier to drive my butt downtown, pay the money, and eat these. The fish is topped with a slaw, cut fresh soft avocado pieces, and some sort of chipotle mayonnaise dressing (which I have also tried at home only to be seriously disappointed). The combination of these flavors is the closest I have come to heaven.
Here is what I have also tried at this place (when I can pry my mind away from the fish tacos - or I am hungry enough to eat two entrees - SAY WHAT???): chiles rellenos (Again - don't even try these at home. SOOOOOOO not worth it - just buy these. They are so yummy), enchiladas suizas, ceviche (which I don't even like and I still licked the plate), chicken mole (again, not my favorite - but found myself not being able to stop eating it), and the BEST appetizers (oh, wait I forgot the shrimp nachos) - queso flameado (if you have never had that, it's high time you try it), and rajas de chile (again, if you have no idea what that is, friend, you NEED to know).
My mouth is watering and I just ate. THAT is why this restaurant deserves a huge thumbs up. Oh, and did I say the service is fantastic? It is. And the ambiance? Well, you heard the music.
So, the next time you are here do your tummy a favor and check it out.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Excuse the absence I was busy dying.
Of course I am exaggerating. Barely. I may have the flu, a sinus infection, strep throat, black lung, or scarlet fever (There was a time Saturday night when hubby said my face looked weird and red. I immediately googled Scarlet Fever and had several of the symptoms). I don't know what I have because I only had my doctor's doctor on call call in a scrip for me after I patiently (and just a little condescendingly) told him "I think I am dying."
After he asked in a way-too-happy-voice, "What's Going On?"
My demise came Friday (yes, just one day after my birthday - a day of immense pain and suffering) morning while my nine year old son and I were watching Sponge Bob (how quickly my parenting has nose dived into the toilet) waiting for the washing machine repairman.
It was a good news/bad news kind of day. Good news: Washer fixed! Bad news: Mom (me) on her death bed!
Unfortunately I had to take all four kids to the grocery store Friday afternoon when I felt green, achy, and a little like a bug that's already been hit by your windshield. And as luck would have it I saw someone I knew when I looked like death warmed over. She was chipper, bathed, smelled good, and wished me the best (thanks, friend - you know who you are and I know you are reading this).
By Friday night all I could do was walk around like a zombie asking, "Have you brushed your teeth? Yes? Well then get in bed! What? I DON'T CARE THAT IT'S ONLY 5:00 AND YOU HAVEN'T EATEN DINNER!!!"
By Saturday morning I could not move. I am not being figurative. I am being literal. I could not move. I am no sissy to pain, either. As many of my close friends will tell you - I have birthed three of my four kids The Natural Way and I was running marathons shortly thereafter (well, that's not true - but you get the picture). This Whatever It Is was killing me.
Now, for me Saturday lasted about 46 hours. But, don't worry - I'll just sum it up for you. Try to keep up.
After he asked in a way-too-happy-voice, "What's Going On?"
My demise came Friday (yes, just one day after my birthday - a day of immense pain and suffering) morning while my nine year old son and I were watching Sponge Bob (how quickly my parenting has nose dived into the toilet) waiting for the washing machine repairman.
It was a good news/bad news kind of day. Good news: Washer fixed! Bad news: Mom (me) on her death bed!
Unfortunately I had to take all four kids to the grocery store Friday afternoon when I felt green, achy, and a little like a bug that's already been hit by your windshield. And as luck would have it I saw someone I knew when I looked like death warmed over. She was chipper, bathed, smelled good, and wished me the best (thanks, friend - you know who you are and I know you are reading this).
By Friday night all I could do was walk around like a zombie asking, "Have you brushed your teeth? Yes? Well then get in bed! What? I DON'T CARE THAT IT'S ONLY 5:00 AND YOU HAVEN'T EATEN DINNER!!!"
By Saturday morning I could not move. I am not being figurative. I am being literal. I could not move. I am no sissy to pain, either. As many of my close friends will tell you - I have birthed three of my four kids The Natural Way and I was running marathons shortly thereafter (well, that's not true - but you get the picture). This Whatever It Is was killing me.
Now, for me Saturday lasted about 46 hours. But, don't worry - I'll just sum it up for you. Try to keep up.
- Early morning trip to the emergency clinic where they told me it would be a five and a half hour wait. No thank you.
- Back home. Considered bathing and brushing my teeth. Decided against it.
- Called doctor.
- Went to bed.
- Woke up and was disappointed that I was still alive.
- Fed some hungry children lunch and went to pick up my meds and get a movie. Not in that order. Well, not sure what the order was because I am pretty sure I was hallucinating at that point.
- Took my prescription medication.
- Did a few loads of laundry.
- Went to bed.
- Woke up and considered brushing my teeth and bathing. Too much effort.
- Girls told me they felt awful.
- I went back to bed with girls.
- We all woke up around 4? 5? 6? I rushed them to the emergency clinic because they were both crying and had the chills.
- Was grossed out that I hadn't bathed or brushed my teeth earlier in the day.
- Waited two and a half hours with two girls that had the chills and were starving to be told that they tested positive for strep and one had an ear infection and the other one might have the flu.
- Rushed them home and sent hubby to pick up more meds.
- Dosed everyone. (Good thing we don't have pets.)
- Put everyone to bed.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
When "no lice" is your happy spot is it time to quit?
So, today is the third (?) anniversary of my 29th birthday - or something like that. Good thing I am not sure I believe "you are as young as you feel" because today I feel about 78.
I had planned to go for a great run this morning after dropping baby off at MDO, grab a yummy (free because I still have SB dollars) coffee at Starbucks, go to the library to return movies and check out new books, go to the bank to withdraw money for our transmission (um, yuck), and then come home read my new books, possibly web surf, make myself a chocolate candy bar pie, and then go pick up all my kids. Did I say that's what I had planned?
Fast forward to what actually happened.
Yesterday I made a poor decision to shower late - hours after doing a work out that involved a heavy (although bulimic) baby. That is why I was 25 minutes late to pick up bubba who had a fever of 102 and why I feel like I have been hit by a truck today. After picking up bubba and stopping by Walgreens (because I never have medicine when I actually need it) the day took a sharp turn toward hell.
The girls got off the bus and one of them had a fever of 101.8. The other said her throat was starting to hurt. In the meantime I had been informed that LICE (collective - EWWWWWWWWWWW!) was making its way through our neighborhood. So, I had the chopsticks ready to examine the girls as soon as they bounded off the bus. Needless to say they were overjoyed to have to endure the examination while not feeling great. Did I tell you how much I hate lice and how it freaks me out? For me, lice are right up there with rats, opossums, and cockroaches. No matter that no one in my family has ever actually had lice. The mere thought that it could bring us down in a matter of minutes terrifies me.
I don't think anyone has lice in our family and that may be the good news of the day. Yeah, it doesn't seem right to take the temperature of the day by assessing your lice status, but that seems where we are headed.
After lice exams I made the kids (because I may be able to see into the future) hop in the shower for a good head scrubbing. They protested since it was only 5:00 and we hadn't eaten dinner. I said, "GET IN. And, dinner??? Are you crazy???"
Just because I was feeling industrious I decided to throw in a load of washcloths that needed bleaching (yeah, this is where you want to pay attention) while I was supervising said head scrubbing. I threw them in and quickly bounded back up the stairs.
I am not sure I can publish word for word the next thing that happened because it would probably prevent me from posting to Facebook, but just know that my husband got home from work, entered the downstairs back door, stepped into roughly an inch of standing water and started screaming various questions and exclamations up the stairs. It was then that we realized we had a washing machine problem.
Good thing I started bathing the kids at 5:00, eh? It didn't sound so crazy when they were still wandering around like zombie, sickie children at 8:00 while hubby and I were frantically bailing out the downstairs like it was the Titanic. We ran out of "dog towels" so we had to start using our "good" towels (I say that loosely since I can't remember the last time I actually bought new towels), so now ALL of our towels (dog and human) are a washed out color and smell strongly of............bleach. Yeah for us! Someday when we have "extra money" I can add all new towels to the list of stuff to buy.
Hubby and I finished throwing sopping towels out the backdoor, rearranging the frig and the computer table, kissing the kids goodnight, taking temperatures, dispensing medication, calling repairmen, rechecking for lice, and cleaning up remaining spots of water somewhere around 8:45. My throat was starting to hurt by then and I had developed the cough I have now.
So, happy birthday to me. Someday this will be funny. Right now I am going to reheat my coffee, assess the kitchen, see what damage the sickies are doing, and wait on the repairman. Hell, if I am feeling industrious (although now I know the dangers of this) I may even recheck for lice and shower. Then again, maybe not.
I had planned to go for a great run this morning after dropping baby off at MDO, grab a yummy (free because I still have SB dollars) coffee at Starbucks, go to the library to return movies and check out new books, go to the bank to withdraw money for our transmission (um, yuck), and then come home read my new books, possibly web surf, make myself a chocolate candy bar pie, and then go pick up all my kids. Did I say that's what I had planned?
Fast forward to what actually happened.
Yesterday I made a poor decision to shower late - hours after doing a work out that involved a heavy (although bulimic) baby. That is why I was 25 minutes late to pick up bubba who had a fever of 102 and why I feel like I have been hit by a truck today. After picking up bubba and stopping by Walgreens (because I never have medicine when I actually need it) the day took a sharp turn toward hell.
The girls got off the bus and one of them had a fever of 101.8. The other said her throat was starting to hurt. In the meantime I had been informed that LICE (collective - EWWWWWWWWWWW!) was making its way through our neighborhood. So, I had the chopsticks ready to examine the girls as soon as they bounded off the bus. Needless to say they were overjoyed to have to endure the examination while not feeling great. Did I tell you how much I hate lice and how it freaks me out? For me, lice are right up there with rats, opossums, and cockroaches. No matter that no one in my family has ever actually had lice. The mere thought that it could bring us down in a matter of minutes terrifies me.
I don't think anyone has lice in our family and that may be the good news of the day. Yeah, it doesn't seem right to take the temperature of the day by assessing your lice status, but that seems where we are headed.
After lice exams I made the kids (because I may be able to see into the future) hop in the shower for a good head scrubbing. They protested since it was only 5:00 and we hadn't eaten dinner. I said, "GET IN. And, dinner??? Are you crazy???"
Just because I was feeling industrious I decided to throw in a load of washcloths that needed bleaching (yeah, this is where you want to pay attention) while I was supervising said head scrubbing. I threw them in and quickly bounded back up the stairs.
I am not sure I can publish word for word the next thing that happened because it would probably prevent me from posting to Facebook, but just know that my husband got home from work, entered the downstairs back door, stepped into roughly an inch of standing water and started screaming various questions and exclamations up the stairs. It was then that we realized we had a washing machine problem.
Good thing I started bathing the kids at 5:00, eh? It didn't sound so crazy when they were still wandering around like zombie, sickie children at 8:00 while hubby and I were frantically bailing out the downstairs like it was the Titanic. We ran out of "dog towels" so we had to start using our "good" towels (I say that loosely since I can't remember the last time I actually bought new towels), so now ALL of our towels (dog and human) are a washed out color and smell strongly of............bleach. Yeah for us! Someday when we have "extra money" I can add all new towels to the list of stuff to buy.
Hubby and I finished throwing sopping towels out the backdoor, rearranging the frig and the computer table, kissing the kids goodnight, taking temperatures, dispensing medication, calling repairmen, rechecking for lice, and cleaning up remaining spots of water somewhere around 8:45. My throat was starting to hurt by then and I had developed the cough I have now.
So, happy birthday to me. Someday this will be funny. Right now I am going to reheat my coffee, assess the kitchen, see what damage the sickies are doing, and wait on the repairman. Hell, if I am feeling industrious (although now I know the dangers of this) I may even recheck for lice and shower. Then again, maybe not.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Normal to bizarre in 24 hours
When you live in a tiny house with five other people sometimes it doesn't take long for things to get a little strange. This time it took roughly 24 hours.
About 2:30 a.m. Tuesday morning - a small child was next to my bed asking me how she knows which bottle is Benadryl. To which I try to remember where I am, sit up and look at the clock, and manage a, "WHAAAT???" She proceeds to tell me that I had just told her (which is weird, but in my house could be normal) to put Benadyl in her ear. Huh??? Several things went through my head: Who are you? Why would I say that? And lastly - Benadryl generally goes in your mouth, but I must say the ear could work.
I got the girl child some medicine, tucked her safely back in her bed and tried to go back to sleep. I think I did sometime around 4:00.
Sometime around 4:30 - a different small child walked into my room and announced her throat hurt. Badly. This time I know I did not say to put Benadryl in her ear.
5:00 a.m. - My alarm rang. I ignored it.
6:15 - I got up and started my day.
From 7:00 a.m. to about 2:45 I came out of a month long weather-induced depression, did TWO work-outs (one of them with Kim Kardashian who will now be referred to as KK), ate a slice of delicious home made cornbread, wrote a short but worthy blog post, did some actual work, cleaned the kitchen, did two loads of laundry, logged into my Twitter account, wandered around the web looking for good things to read, finished a collection of short stories, read about the work of John Paul the II (he will resurface later in the form of a priest), and generally felt pretty proud of my day's accomplishments. Diet - check! Work-out - check! No yelling - check! Read something worthy - check! Wrote something worthy - check!
2:45 - Now here's where things started to down slide. I thought my son might enjoy some home made cheese popcorn when he got home from school. So, I made him some. Then, I ate the whole bowl.
3:15 - One of the girls got off the bus complaining of ear pain and a sore throat. My boy child was miffed because I ate all his cheese popcorn. I told her to go lay down, and I told him not to be so whiney.
3:20 - 4:30 - We all got through homework, piano, snacks, chores, girl being sick, and playing outside. I made a semi-home made chicken pot pie (I detest chicken pot pie of any shape or form) for dinner and was feeling happy about just being hungry for a small piece (turns out cheese popcorn is very filling - especially when you eat a whole mixing bowl full).
5:00 - We sat down to eat as a family. Cleavers - not quite, but we looked fairly normal.
5:15 - I sat down to eat my first bite of pot pie (up until this point I had been making something the sickie could easily eat without bothering her throat which was now really hurting her). Baby vomited all over the table. Baby was not sick, but she may be bulimic.
5:30 - Dinner was cleared off the table. I had decidedly lost my appetite (yay for me!). I escorted the sickie upstairs to brush her teeth and go to bed. The other two children went outside to play.
6:00 - 8:00 - I just tried to manage a normal bedtime routine while one child was sick, our only boy was trying to be sick for attention, the baby was hungry because she vomited her dinner, and I was thinking how I could justify eating the leftover Maggiano's chocolate chocolate cake in the frig.
8:00 - I ate the cake. And it was yummy.
8:15 - 10:00 - I ate a chicken sandwich with chips. It was also yummy. I aimlessly watched a show I don't like and then a show I like. I considered doing something more worthy and decided against it. I was surprised and considered it a coincidence that KK was going to be on Letterman. AND she still looked good from our work-out that morning (I, on the other hand, had gained a good 10 pounds since then). I considered staying up for Letterman and decided against it.
10:00 - 10:50 - I started a new novel.
10:50 - I called it a day. Good or bad? It was a toss up.
11:00 - A girl child (not the sickie) was in my room telling me she had a sore throat. It was okay. I was able to manage it.
2:30 - I dreamt that KK
2:45 - The sickie woke up and needed medicine.
3:00 - 5:00 - I laid awake trying to analyze my dream. In the end there was no analysis only insomnia.
Today I will try to work-out, eat right, work a little on my resolutions, and most importantly - stay sane, which as it turns out is not even a resolution, but could be the hardest task I have faced yet.
About 2:30 a.m. Tuesday morning - a small child was next to my bed asking me how she knows which bottle is Benadryl. To which I try to remember where I am, sit up and look at the clock, and manage a, "WHAAAT???" She proceeds to tell me that I had just told her (which is weird, but in my house could be normal) to put Benadyl in her ear. Huh??? Several things went through my head: Who are you? Why would I say that? And lastly - Benadryl generally goes in your mouth, but I must say the ear could work.
I got the girl child some medicine, tucked her safely back in her bed and tried to go back to sleep. I think I did sometime around 4:00.
Sometime around 4:30 - a different small child walked into my room and announced her throat hurt. Badly. This time I know I did not say to put Benadryl in her ear.
5:00 a.m. - My alarm rang. I ignored it.
6:15 - I got up and started my day.
From 7:00 a.m. to about 2:45 I came out of a month long weather-induced depression, did TWO work-outs (one of them with Kim Kardashian who will now be referred to as KK), ate a slice of delicious home made cornbread, wrote a short but worthy blog post, did some actual work, cleaned the kitchen, did two loads of laundry, logged into my Twitter account, wandered around the web looking for good things to read, finished a collection of short stories, read about the work of John Paul the II (he will resurface later in the form of a priest), and generally felt pretty proud of my day's accomplishments. Diet - check! Work-out - check! No yelling - check! Read something worthy - check! Wrote something worthy - check!
2:45 - Now here's where things started to down slide. I thought my son might enjoy some home made cheese popcorn when he got home from school. So, I made him some. Then, I ate the whole bowl.
3:15 - One of the girls got off the bus complaining of ear pain and a sore throat. My boy child was miffed because I ate all his cheese popcorn. I told her to go lay down, and I told him not to be so whiney.
3:20 - 4:30 - We all got through homework, piano, snacks, chores, girl being sick, and playing outside. I made a semi-home made chicken pot pie (I detest chicken pot pie of any shape or form) for dinner and was feeling happy about just being hungry for a small piece (turns out cheese popcorn is very filling - especially when you eat a whole mixing bowl full).
5:00 - We sat down to eat as a family. Cleavers - not quite, but we looked fairly normal.
5:15 - I sat down to eat my first bite of pot pie (up until this point I had been making something the sickie could easily eat without bothering her throat which was now really hurting her). Baby vomited all over the table. Baby was not sick, but she may be bulimic.
5:30 - Dinner was cleared off the table. I had decidedly lost my appetite (yay for me!). I escorted the sickie upstairs to brush her teeth and go to bed. The other two children went outside to play.
6:00 - 8:00 - I just tried to manage a normal bedtime routine while one child was sick, our only boy was trying to be sick for attention, the baby was hungry because she vomited her dinner, and I was thinking how I could justify eating the leftover Maggiano's chocolate chocolate cake in the frig.
8:00 - I ate the cake. And it was yummy.
8:15 - 10:00 - I ate a chicken sandwich with chips. It was also yummy. I aimlessly watched a show I don't like and then a show I like. I considered doing something more worthy and decided against it. I was surprised and considered it a coincidence that KK was going to be on Letterman. AND she still looked good from our work-out that morning (I, on the other hand, had gained a good 10 pounds since then). I considered staying up for Letterman and decided against it.
10:00 - 10:50 - I started a new novel.
10:50 - I called it a day. Good or bad? It was a toss up.
11:00 - A girl child (not the sickie) was in my room telling me she had a sore throat. It was okay. I was able to manage it.
2:30 - I dreamt that KK
 |
| an unlikely pair? |
and Pope John Paul the II (but he was just a priest still) have purchased (from my church) a house that they have renovated into an Italian restaurant (makes perfect sense to me in the dream because I know John Paul was Italian???). I am there at the restaurant and they are serving a great chocolate cake. BUT, you have to do this crazy work-out in order to get the cake. But, it's okay because all my friends are there (the same friends I went to Maggiano's with in Real Life) and they are willing to do the work-out for the cake.
2:45 - The sickie woke up and needed medicine.
3:00 - 5:00 - I laid awake trying to analyze my dream. In the end there was no analysis only insomnia.
Today I will try to work-out, eat right, work a little on my resolutions, and most importantly - stay sane, which as it turns out is not even a resolution, but could be the hardest task I have faced yet.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I'm back
I'll skip the drivel. The sun is out for the first time in days, I did two work-outs, I found some loose change, I have logged into my blog, and I just might update my Facebook status. I've missed you, friends. I will try to put a smile on my face and I promise I'll be back for good soon (if you don't see me on the evening news first). Kidding. Kind of. ;o)
Friday, January 7, 2011
Being Prepared
2010 came with some difficult times in my family - not the family that actually lives with me in our house (we live in difficult times), but the family into which I was born. Even though we are many (nine to be exact - and that's not counting all of our kids) and spread out among four different states I like to think we are tight knit. So, difficulty for one often translates to tears for us all. Now, that being said, don't think I am going to "bring you down" during the month of January. I'm not. Because my personal family can find the humor in just about anything.
During 2010 one of my six sisters and her family suffered a catastrophic house fire. This tragedy rocked our family - my personal family and our extended family. We sent up prayers, those who could - helped out financially, those who couldn't - sent up more prayers. Thankfully my sister is overwhelmingly loved in the small town in which she lives and the outpouring of generosity and help from her community was beautiful.
"So, what's funny about that?" you ask. Well, on the surface - nothing. But scratch just below the surface (to where my family lives) and you will find plenty.
There is nothing like a devastating fire in your family to light the proverbial fire under your arse to verify that you and your family are prepared in the event of a fire in your house.
About four weeks after my sister's fire I was happily working at my desk and my husband was surfing the net when he started commenting and asking questions. It went something like this:
"Babe, I've decided we need to finally make sure all of our smoke detectors are working."
Me - Yeah, I think that's good. (while I casually glance up at all the cords that hang sadly from our ceiling)
Him - Okay, well I am here on Amazon and I am going to order some.
Me - Yeah, okay.
Him - Well, while I'm at it, I thought we should get some fire extinguishers.
Me - Okay great.
Him - So, what do you think of one of those second story escape ladders, too?
Me - Oh, I always wanted one of those as a kid. How much do they cost?
At this point he'd been surfing for about TWO HOURS, and usually when that happens I get a bill about 4-6 weeks later for a million dollars.
Him - Not sure. I'll check.I can get one for under $100.
Me - Okay. But our kids are pretty agile and good jumpers.
Him - Look at this, babe. They have an ax, too. I think we need that because what about the baby? She can't get on the ladder alone and I might need to save her.
Me - An ax? Really? Well, I hadn't thought about that.
Him - Well, I think we need to think about it. There's also this hazmat suit. I might need that when I am rescuing the kids. I can get that for...................hmm..........................well, that's actually kind of pricey.
The conversation proceeded like this till about midnight when he finally submitted an order for new smoke detectors, an ax, four fire extinguishers, and a second story escape ladder. Total bill - under three hundred..........barely.
He didn't talk about fire safety again........................until we got our shipment from Amazon.
Then, of course, we had to install all of the new equipment and.............................practice by having actual fire drills. Because what else do you do with fire safety equipment that you have ordered in case of an actual fire?
The kids were, as you would suspect, happy beyond belief that we were so concerned about fire safety because public education also loves fire safety and our family had never had a fire safety plan (except your basic - GET THE HELL OUT!). They drew up maps, pulled out whistles they hadn't used in years, found their flashlights, got out hats, and basically entertained themselves with this for days.
So, it's about six weeks after the real fire in my sister's home and I drive home from the grocery store to find a ladder hanging precariously from the front of the house, my nine year old swinging down from the ladder like a monkey holding my two year old, my husband with a makeshift hazmat outfit on (okay, that's not true - but if he'd have thought of it he would have SOOOOO done it), and a stopwatch in his hand. He was screaming at the kids, "OKAY, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE. YOU ARE NOT GOING FAST ENOUGH. COME ON. YOU CAN BEAT YOUR TIME. BUBBA - HOLD THE BABY!!! WE DON'T WANT AN ACCIDENT HERE. YOU CAN DO IT." Wild screaming is erupting from my girls as they watch bubba and baby safely from down below. Baby is laughing and carrying on (completely oblivious to the fact that this is a serious fire drill drill not to mention the fact that she is suspended in midair by a NINE YEAR OLD) and having a great time and bubba has a look on his face likes he's in the army. As I get out of the Yukon the girls surround me, screaming, "WE HAVE A FIRE PLAN, MOMMA. WE KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! DO YOU WANT TO PRACTICE WITH US??? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE PLAN??? DO YOU WANT TO TEST US, MOMMA??? DO YOU WANT TO GO DOWN THE LADDER MOMMA??? DADDY HAS AN AX THAT HE WILL USE TO GET THE BABY, BUT WE ARE NOT GOING TO PRACTICE THAT PART BECAUSE THAT WOULD ACTUALLY DAMAGE THE HOUSE. DON'T YOU LOVE IT, MOMMA???"
I am pretty sure I laughed about this for a good two weeks, and my kids made me practice my part over and over. We have not had any follow-up drills, but just to make sure they learned something I asked them last night, "What do we do if there is a fire in the night?" They responded with what we had practiced and added the "no ax practice part because we like the house like it is."
My husband always says, "He who fails to plan, plans to fail." So, thank God we are prepared and thank God we don't have to practice the ax part because I am fairly happy with the way the house looks now, too.
During 2010 one of my six sisters and her family suffered a catastrophic house fire. This tragedy rocked our family - my personal family and our extended family. We sent up prayers, those who could - helped out financially, those who couldn't - sent up more prayers. Thankfully my sister is overwhelmingly loved in the small town in which she lives and the outpouring of generosity and help from her community was beautiful.
"So, what's funny about that?" you ask. Well, on the surface - nothing. But scratch just below the surface (to where my family lives) and you will find plenty.
There is nothing like a devastating fire in your family to light the proverbial fire under your arse to verify that you and your family are prepared in the event of a fire in your house.
About four weeks after my sister's fire I was happily working at my desk and my husband was surfing the net when he started commenting and asking questions. It went something like this:
"Babe, I've decided we need to finally make sure all of our smoke detectors are working."
Me - Yeah, I think that's good. (while I casually glance up at all the cords that hang sadly from our ceiling)
Him - Okay, well I am here on Amazon and I am going to order some.
Me - Yeah, okay.
Him - Well, while I'm at it, I thought we should get some fire extinguishers.
Me - Okay great.
Him - So, what do you think of one of those second story escape ladders, too?
Me - Oh, I always wanted one of those as a kid. How much do they cost?
At this point he'd been surfing for about TWO HOURS, and usually when that happens I get a bill about 4-6 weeks later for a million dollars.
Him - Not sure. I'll check.
Me - Okay. But our kids are pretty agile and good jumpers.
Him - Look at this, babe. They have an ax, too. I think we need that because what about the baby? She can't get on the ladder alone and I might need to save her.
Me - An ax? Really? Well, I hadn't thought about that.
Him - Well, I think we need to think about it. There's also this hazmat suit. I might need that when I am rescuing the kids. I can get that for...................hmm..........................well, that's actually kind of pricey.
The conversation proceeded like this till about midnight when he finally submitted an order for new smoke detectors, an ax, four fire extinguishers, and a second story escape ladder. Total bill - under three hundred..........barely.
He didn't talk about fire safety again........................until we got our shipment from Amazon.
Then, of course, we had to install all of the new equipment and.............................practice by having actual fire drills. Because what else do you do with fire safety equipment that you have ordered in case of an actual fire?
The kids were, as you would suspect, happy beyond belief that we were so concerned about fire safety because public education also loves fire safety and our family had never had a fire safety plan (except your basic - GET THE HELL OUT!). They drew up maps, pulled out whistles they hadn't used in years, found their flashlights, got out hats, and basically entertained themselves with this for days.
So, it's about six weeks after the real fire in my sister's home and I drive home from the grocery store to find a ladder hanging precariously from the front of the house, my nine year old swinging down from the ladder like a monkey holding my two year old, my husband with a makeshift hazmat outfit on (okay, that's not true - but if he'd have thought of it he would have SOOOOO done it), and a stopwatch in his hand. He was screaming at the kids, "OKAY, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE. YOU ARE NOT GOING FAST ENOUGH. COME ON. YOU CAN BEAT YOUR TIME. BUBBA - HOLD THE BABY!!! WE DON'T WANT AN ACCIDENT HERE. YOU CAN DO IT." Wild screaming is erupting from my girls as they watch bubba and baby safely from down below. Baby is laughing and carrying on (completely oblivious to the fact that this is a serious fire drill drill not to mention the fact that she is suspended in midair by a NINE YEAR OLD) and having a great time and bubba has a look on his face likes he's in the army. As I get out of the Yukon the girls surround me, screaming, "WE HAVE A FIRE PLAN, MOMMA. WE KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! DO YOU WANT TO PRACTICE WITH US??? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE PLAN??? DO YOU WANT TO TEST US, MOMMA??? DO YOU WANT TO GO DOWN THE LADDER MOMMA??? DADDY HAS AN AX THAT HE WILL USE TO GET THE BABY, BUT WE ARE NOT GOING TO PRACTICE THAT PART BECAUSE THAT WOULD ACTUALLY DAMAGE THE HOUSE. DON'T YOU LOVE IT, MOMMA???"
I am pretty sure I laughed about this for a good two weeks, and my kids made me practice my part over and over. We have not had any follow-up drills, but just to make sure they learned something I asked them last night, "What do we do if there is a fire in the night?" They responded with what we had practiced and added the "no ax practice part because we like the house like it is."
My husband always says, "He who fails to plan, plans to fail." So, thank God we are prepared and thank God we don't have to practice the ax part because I am fairly happy with the way the house looks now, too.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
January. And you might need a laugh.
So, I may suffer from seasonal depression. And if my husband were to diagnose me there would be a huge checkmark in my medical record next to that one. Good thing he's not a doctor (he only plays one on TV ;o). I have been known to waste a little time periodically (no??? horror!!!) and this increases phenomenally when I am "in a funk." But, thankfully I have learned (yes, I like to think I have cornered the market on refining procrastination) to spend a good part of this time looking for things that will make me laugh or at the very least make me smile.
Where am I going with this drivel? Not sure, but I decided to share a few things that never fail to make me smile/laugh (sometimes out loud and sometimes interspersed with crying and snorting) just in case Janurary's got you down too. Thank me later when you are feeling better (like June). :o)
Where am I going with this drivel? Not sure, but I decided to share a few things that never fail to make me smile/laugh (sometimes out loud and sometimes interspersed with crying and snorting) just in case Janurary's got you down too. Thank me later when you are feeling better (like June). :o)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
I like big bots and I cannot lie...
I will never be nominated for Mom of the Year. Nor will my husband ever be nominated for Father of theYear. Mainly because I parent from Venus and he parents from Mars and this leads to consistent inconsistency. One day an infraction might get you a shushing, the next day that same infraction might get you a flogging. Not only do I admit it, I recognize it as a major factor in why my kids are NUTS!
Generally I am okay with this knowledge. I know what I have and 99.9% of the time I like it. If my life were in the form of an SAT question it would be: Sarah Palin is to comedians what My Kids are to My Dabbles in Writing. Fuel for the fire.
Then sometimes I meet a modern day June Cleaver and my whole vision of what I know as My Insane Yet Funny Life is called into question.
I had a mother (name not disclosed to protect her innocence) in my home over Christmas. She was accompanied by her two lovely, quiet girls - ages 1 1/2 and 2 1/2. Did I say her girls were quiet and well behaved? She and I chit-chatted and things were going quite well. Her kids were amazingly well behaved and my kids were...........upstairs. Then my kids came downstairs. While I politely wanted to say,
Generally I am okay with this knowledge. I know what I have and 99.9% of the time I like it. If my life were in the form of an SAT question it would be: Sarah Palin is to comedians what My Kids are to My Dabbles in Writing. Fuel for the fire.
Then sometimes I meet a modern day June Cleaver and my whole vision of what I know as My Insane Yet Funny Life is called into question.
I had a mother (name not disclosed to protect her innocence) in my home over Christmas. She was accompanied by her two lovely, quiet girls - ages 1 1/2 and 2 1/2. Did I say her girls were quiet and well behaved? She and I chit-chatted and things were going quite well. Her kids were amazingly well behaved and my kids were...........upstairs. Then my kids came downstairs. While I politely wanted to say,
 |
I said in my Scarily Quiet Mommy Voice, "I am still talking to Ms. Mommy With Well-Behaved Children so please entertain yourselves QUIETLY until we are done."
My kids got out Dora Candy Land and proceeded to play nicely....for about two minutes. Then what erupted was a wild ruckus that was so crazy that even looking back on it now (an easy TWO weeks later) I can only tell you my face contorted into something like this:
I wanted to scream and whip out the straight jackets and suit my kids up. I am pretty sure there was a flying Dora piece, random screaming, and a few punches flown.
AND whatever I tried to do to squelch the wild behavior was like gas to fire. Before I knew it I felt heat growing up my stomach to my neck. I could feel my face turning red and it was burning with shame. I found myself mumbling crazy things like, "They haven't napped," (hello - they haven't napped in like 8 years???), "My son is really hyper," "It's raining," "Sometimes they react negatively to...........................................air."
This sweet mother with two well behaved girls spoke not a word, but the look of horror and astonishment on her face said it all.
Just as I was thinking "It could not get any worse. I will cut my losses and get this sweet lady the heck out of here before they turn on her." I heard the unmistakable sound of the whoopee cushion and all of my kids erupting in insane laughter and screaming - my TWO YEAR OLD leading the pack.
She left my house within minutes of this happening and I was properly shamed and embarrassed. My kids received a proper flogging (I'm kidding.......................kind of) for their inappropriateness and wildness and I managed to put it out of my mind (mostly). I at least was able to move it to the back of my mind.
For some reason, this feeling of inadequacy and second guessing myself plagued me for days. Am I too much of a slacker mom? Should I quit blogging so much and actually parent? Is the two year old too young to appreciate a whoopee cushion? I really need to stop saying my boy child is "hyper" and hold that boy accountable for something. Why do the girls teach the baby to "play dead"? I really need to stop screaming like a banshee and start modeling Proper Behavior 24/7. Why do my kids find bodily functions so hilarious??? Why does my two year old say and do things she's learned from a nine year old boy that is frankly frightening? WHY CAN'T MY KIDS BE NORMAL??????????????
Then it happened. The insane mommy angel flew down and kicked me in the butt. It happened late yesterday afternoon while I was........................writing on the laptop. Baby came toddling over to me and mumbled something I didn't quite hear. So I sweetly said, "What, baby? What did you say?" And this time very clearly and loudly she said, "I LIKE BIG BOTS AND I CANNOT LIE!" I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants.
Lessons learned: Just when you think it couldn't have been any worse. Rest assured. It could have. AND love what you got. The shame and embarrassment was totally worth the laughter provided by this short look at The Other Side.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Edit
Okay. I may have forgotten a few things when I hurriedly put together my resolution list. Here are a few more I have been thinking more about.
1. Wear only bras that fit.
2. Cook what I want, not what they want. They can learn to deal with it for one year.
3. Whiten my teeth again.
4. Learn to put on false eyelashes so that they don't end up in my drink later.
5. Celebrate!
6. Listen.
7. Write love notes.
8. Decide.
9. Get to 10.
1. Wear only bras that fit.
2. Cook what I want, not what they want. They can learn to deal with it for one year.
3. Whiten my teeth again.
4. Learn to put on false eyelashes so that they don't end up in my drink later.
5. Celebrate!
6. Listen.
7. Write love notes.
8. Decide.
9. Get to 10.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
You Might Want To Try This...
I bring you this blog post as a public service announcement. As the day has gone on (and on, and on - after all I did partake a little last night, and I have four children two of whom made it until midnight, and I am dead dog tired) I have decided that regarding New Year's Resolutions people basically fall into two camps. Those who are gun ho (huh?) and those who absolutely abhor resolutions. Making resolutions almost carries the same stigma as stepping in dog doo for this second camp. And before continuing I will say - I fall into neither of these camps (once again I am an outlier and although I have made a few resolutions I have also tried to adhere closely to the principles set forth below - see http://girlonapage.wordpress.com/.)
For the people who are gun ho (gung ho? gun hoe?) I say, "Carry on. We all love your enthusiasm (you can say that part with a tad of sarcasm in your voice)." And to the other camp, I say, "You Might Want To Try This..."
And I resort to what I do best - A LIST!!! Yippee and Happy First List of the New Year!
1. Set your sights LOWER. Instead of resolving to do your part to create world peace, resolve to shower before noon.
2. Make your list SHORT. The proverbial ten resolutions may be too much for you. Step back and pick five, or three that you can easily accomplish - by December of 2011. Gradually add more as you progress through the year, or not - just sit fat and happy in June when you are done and those enthusiastic people referred to above are still muddling through #23 (because they are over achievers and ALWAYS have more than 10 resolutions).
3. Be specific and concentrate on what you are already doing well. For example, if you are a couch potato you probably don't want to resolve to do the age old, "exercise more." Blah, and phooey. Who wants that? Instead, consider resolving to be active once a day (and that fits in nicely with #1 - shower and consider yourself accomplished!).
4. Mention a lot of other people who live with you in your resolutions. Not only does this let YOU off the hook, but the other people you live with will appreciate it too! For example, instead of "Lose 10 pounds," you could resolve to help your hubby lose 10 pounds. Monitor his diet carefully and insist that by doing this you are accomplishing YOUR resolutions. Everyone's a winner and he'll thank you later. ;o) (You can do the same thing with your kids, too.)
5. In keeping with #2 I am going to end now so that you can be on your way making your resolutions and KEEPING them!
Happy New Year, friends. Once again, you can also find me at http://girlonapage.wordpress.com/ where I'll be hanging out once in a while in 2011.
For the people who are gun ho (gung ho? gun hoe?) I say, "Carry on. We all love your enthusiasm (you can say that part with a tad of sarcasm in your voice)." And to the other camp, I say, "You Might Want To Try This..."
And I resort to what I do best - A LIST!!! Yippee and Happy First List of the New Year!
1. Set your sights LOWER. Instead of resolving to do your part to create world peace, resolve to shower before noon.
2. Make your list SHORT. The proverbial ten resolutions may be too much for you. Step back and pick five, or three that you can easily accomplish - by December of 2011. Gradually add more as you progress through the year, or not - just sit fat and happy in June when you are done and those enthusiastic people referred to above are still muddling through #23 (because they are over achievers and ALWAYS have more than 10 resolutions).
3. Be specific and concentrate on what you are already doing well. For example, if you are a couch potato you probably don't want to resolve to do the age old, "exercise more." Blah, and phooey. Who wants that? Instead, consider resolving to be active once a day (and that fits in nicely with #1 - shower and consider yourself accomplished!).
4. Mention a lot of other people who live with you in your resolutions. Not only does this let YOU off the hook, but the other people you live with will appreciate it too! For example, instead of "Lose 10 pounds," you could resolve to help your hubby lose 10 pounds. Monitor his diet carefully and insist that by doing this you are accomplishing YOUR resolutions. Everyone's a winner and he'll thank you later. ;o) (You can do the same thing with your kids, too.)
5. In keeping with #2 I am going to end now so that you can be on your way making your resolutions and KEEPING them!
Happy New Year, friends. Once again, you can also find me at http://girlonapage.wordpress.com/ where I'll be hanging out once in a while in 2011.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)