Friday, December 10, 2010

December 10 and mom's asleep at the wheel

Usually when I take the older three to piano lessons I hang-out on the nearby playground and the kids who are not getting a lesson can just play. Sometimes if baby is cooperating or if she's not, but the weather is yucky we just hang out in the studio. This is difficult because the studio is actually an efficiency apartment and cramming six people in there (one of them being an uncooperative baby) is really not fun. There have been a few occasions when baby has been sound asleep (and I am all for - DO NOT wake a sleeping baby - there will be hell to pay) when we just hung out in the Yukon (btw - that equals not fun, too).

Well, yesterday it wasn't baby who needed a nap. It was mommy. So, I decided to just hang out in the Yukon. The temperature was below 80, so I was freezing cold and I just needed some rest. Baby had graham crackers and S. was contentedly playing with baby.

Why was I dead dog tired? No fears - I am going to tell you. It really starts and ends with my eyes. You will be happy to know that my eye infection/allergy/annoying itchiness is for the most part gone. How did I do that? High doses of Zyrtec. Which makes me quite.............sleepy. Literally I am unable to keep my eyes open (but they look good when they are open). Wednesday I fell sound asleep in my dinner which led my husband to believe I will be an even funner date than I usually am (how is that even possible???) at the Grown Up Party Saturday.

Unfortunately, my eye situation was immediately replaced with some nasty goo coming out of my nose (thank me later for the description on that) and an incredibly sore throat. Now as a general rule I avoid doctors at all costs (whole 'nother post there), so basically I just self-medicate until I am symptom free. My throat was SO sore that I was awakened by it yesterday morning (oh joy) THREE A.M. Now, I am a morning person and all, but seriously??? I had been up since THREE A.M.

I have also had a little to do lately (with it being Christmas and all - NOTHING to do with Procrastination), so this has required me to stay up LATE (the other day I checked the clock between commercials and I know it was after midnight). My job has also recently persuaded me to get a Twitter account and join a virtual community (no, I am totally serious there I know it sounds like a joke of mine). Now for a person who still reads the newspaper (I can explain that later if you don't know what a newspaper is), just recently got a cell phone, has no DVR or ESP, and who you know can barely find the keyboard, this has understandably led to countless hours on the computer.

That ALL coupled with the Zyrtec (and now Ibuprofen and nasal spray) has made for one DEAD DOG TIRED MOMMA.

Fast forward to yesterday when I am sitting locked in the Yukon in the parking lot of piano with two kids in the back. My last thought that I can remember was, "I am just going to close my eyes for a minute." Or actually I think it was, "Since I cannot keep my eyes open - literally - and I don't have toothpicks. I am just going to let them close."

The next thing that happened was my eight year old-super-concerned-about-safety boy is BANGING wildly (attracting all sorts of attention) on my window and mouthing (well it looked like mouthing because I couldn't really hear at that point - it was in fact screaming), 'MOM ARE YOU OKAY!!!"

Sidenote: When God gave us our super-safety-conscious-boy he was having a good laugh. On us. This was just plumb funny and ironic. To God. I am married to a guy who rarely has safety as his Number One Concern and has frankly done a lot of not-safe things in his life. And, me, well you know me. So, when God said, "I am going to give these two yay-hoos this boy," I know he was having a good belly laugh and most likely trying to teach us a lesson. Thank you, Mr. Big Man.

Now I cannot really tell you what went through my mind in the next second, so here's a synopsis.

Where AM I? Um, what day is it? In what month? Why is there drool coming out of my mouth? Who are those people over there looking concerned? Why is S. saying just a little condescendingly, "Mom open the door. He's getting a little excited"? When did S. learn to be condescending? Wait...WHERE am I?

At that point I glanced in the rear view mirror (after it dawned on me that I was, in fact, in my Yukon) and saw that baby had grahams smeared all over her face. Note to self: When you are going to fall dead asleep in your CAR, DO NOT give the baby grahams.

I wiped off the drool and calmly opened the door as if it was all perfectly normal.

What happened next was (synopsis):

Safety boy: MOM! Are you okay? Why did you fall asleep? Baby was in here!!! Thank God you locked the door!!! MOM! How long have been asleep??? Did you know baby made a mess with the grahams? Sofie is laughing, mom. Can we have Sonic on the way home if you are too sleepy to cook dinner?

When I said mom's asleep at the wheel I was not kidding. Luckily, everyone is still okay and I didn't actually have the Yukon in drive. My kids still love me (I think).

I got a full eight hours sleep last night, my throat is not sore, and I am hoping to be symptom free for the Grown Up Party. I will post pictures as soon as we return. Heck! Now that hubby has a smart phone I may even hijack it and give you updates from the Grown Up Party. I am going to TWEET this and.........................................drum roll..............................................(gosh, I have been dying to write this my whole life) can follow me on TWITTER. :o)

Peace, friends. And I will post to you soon.


Shannon said...

LOL! Well at least the car wasn't moving at the time. Did you get Sonic? I want Sonic. Starting the list of what I HAVE to eat this summer.

Becky said...

Oh man! I hope you are totally better soon. And that your grown up party goes okay. i love how you can find the humor in almost any situation.

Jae said...

LMAO! Hilarious - most especially M's stream of questions and concerns; baby, mess, safety, S laughing at him. hee hee!

And SAY WHAT?! You have a Twitter account?! Where's my friend gone who swore she would visit all us gals in the hospital when we had brain cancer from our cell phones?! ;)

Monica said...

i know. crazy nuts, eh? i am tweeting!!! i wish i could stream to you gals live from the Adult Show (wait, that sounds really bad). @becky - sometimes humor is the only thing we gots! @shannon - NO SONIC. i had to draw the line somewhere!!!