Sunday, December 12, 2010

"Ah, excuse me, maam? That coffee's not free."

So, we are back from the windy city - and I don't mean Chicago - I mean Dallas and boy was it windy........and freezing cold. (This will be important later when you see NO PICTURES OF OUR COLLECTIVE GORGEOUSNESS!!!) But, that was the least of my concerns. Since I could not take all of you with me (which would have been my first choice), AND YOU WILL HAVE NO PICTURES, this post is going to give you an idea of just how our weekend went.

It started with me amazingly having time to make homemade gingerbread men and homemade frosting so that the kids could have a fun activity to do with the sitter on Saturday afternoon. Say what??? Slacker mom??? I know. Name change: Super Mom. I am hoping this won me enough points with the kids to take me well into 2011.

So, we left Saturday at noon, and we arrived in record time. Thanks, E. for not giving a darn what the posted speed is (that will be important later, too). And we checked into our 20th floor room at the Omni Mandalay. We had a lovely view of the downtown Dallas skyline and a lovely view of the man-made canal below us. Due to E.'s said disregard for speed or safety we actually had time to rest (what's that???) before it was time to get ready for the party.

We arrived at the party right on time because that's how we roll when there is free food and drink to be had. I immediately took an hors d'oeuvres that was offered and redeemed a drink ticket. I mostly ate these unusual, but tasty figs (now bring me some figgy pudding?) on top of some yummy cheese concoction on one of those baked Parmesan crackers. Oh, yum. But, I did practice self restraint and only accepted those from men who had not offered them to me before.

Until we found some people that E. knew we entertained ourselves by taking numerous pictures in front of the lovely Christmas decorations and taking pictures of perfect strangers - and that's always fun. Now, remember I said it would be important that the weather was sub-zero? Well, here's why. You are not seeing any pictures of us in numerous Christmas poses because we LEFT THE CAMERA IN THE YUKON. And it was too cold to walk the 100 yards to the parking garage to get it. So, we took all the pictures with E.'s new smart phone. Now apparently here's the deal with smart phones. THEY DON''T ACTUALLY MAKE THE USER ANY SMARTER. They are smart to take the damn pictures, but if you don't know what to do next your pictures will forever live inside your phone (being the size of a postage stamp). So, you may or may not see pictures later. Just know E. looked HOT in his new suit and I looked pretty dang good in my Spanx (and my dress over that). Thank you to our fashionista J.W. for dressing us.

We also had our picture taken for the company directory. I thought I might use this photo later until I realized the background was going to be a huge sign that said Therapy 2000 Not a good personal look particularly.

We sat with some people that E. knew and we were treated to a delicious dinner. I had shrimp with tortellini, triple chocolate cake, some yummy meat with a bun, and chocolate covered strawberries. In that order. I also had to use drink tickets from several people at our table who were not drinking (say what???). Poor me. I hated that.

After dinner the CEO of the company gave awards like no others. It wasn't the usual: Most Successful Salesperson (or whatever your business pertains to). It was: Employee Who Has Had Their Car Towed The Most While Doing Home Health. It was clever, hilarious, and entertaining. He then gave away some booty (and I am not talking about the x-rated kind). iPads, Wii's, Kindles (all of which I know nothing about, but wanted anyway). It was crazy fun. I am from public education and for most of my years there all I ever got for Christmas were some nice cards that said "Merry Christmas." So this was pretty nuts for me. AND I was so lucky to be with a LUCKY guy. As anyone who knows him will tell you I am married to one lucky guy (and not just 'cuz he married me either). But, his mojo that night was no where to be found (well, we did find it later..........the next day). We won nothing, but we had a darn good time watching all the people who did win. We then found out about the company motto "Give Back," which was actually quite touching. It was a great ceremony. Funny, slightly serious, not too long, the bar was still open when it was done, and it was a great prelude to the AWESOME BAND.

Let me stop here and just give you a tidbit you can file away in Note To Self (as I have done). When wearing thigh high hose make sure they are securely on your THIGHS. Don't worry my little fashion horror happened away from E.'s boss, and could be quickly remedied in the bathroom so that I could return and dance the night away.

Ed got his amazing employee gift.............a Canon photo printer???!!! Again, from years in public education this gal was saying, "WHAT??? Did my man pick a great time to get a new job, or what???" We got our groove on (yes, I could have danced more than E. - it's hard to say), and we basically had a fabulous night.

So, that pretty much sums up our Grown Up Party for you (you can thank me later for sparing you ALL the details) - HEY it was a GROWN UP PARTY after all. Oh, until the next the Starbucks in the lobby.

We thought it would be a great idea to just get coffee there, so we did. I just assumed E. had paid for it and proceeded to grab my bags and walk out...................that's where the post title comes in. Thank you, Mr.-Omni-Mandalay-Starbucks-Coffee-Man-Who-Now-Thinks-I-Am-A-Thief for not making a huge deal out of me trying to leave without paying.

AND we know now where E.'s mojo was during the party. He just happened to need it later........on the way home. And, since I know he will be sensitive about this - - let's just keep it a secret between me and you. Read between the lines: Thank you, DPS Officer Name Is Gone To Protect Your Identity for having the Christmas spirit and giving my man a warning. I might love you, but I definitely want to give you a huge Merry Fist Bump.

That's my story, peeps, and I'm stickin' to it. Hope your weekend was grand, too.


jamiew said...

1. your welcome!
2. you got (almost)free coffee this morning! (looking forward to our next coffee tawlk!)

Monica said...

oh, friend. and did you see all my DISCRETION in this post??? me? discreet??? hehehehehehehe. thanks for the coffee and our indiscreet chat. YOU continue to hold the title "Extreme Fashion Mom."

Jae said...

I'm so glad you both had a good time! :) Yay!!! And no ticket - woot!

There IS a lot of "discretion" in this post ... hummm ... I'll have to wait for the fun tidbits until later I guess!

Shannon said...

I will be calling SOON to get all the indiscreet bits. I can't wait. Please note that i am restraining myself as it like 1 am there.

BTW concerning your wardrobe malfunction one word: Garter Belt.
OK so that's two words or should it be one compound word? Who knows? Anyway your thigh highs won't fall down and Ed will love it.

Monica said...

@jae and shannon - yes, you will get details later. even more hilarious details. ;o) because CAN WE EVER DO ANYTHING SERIOUS??? jeesh. and, yes. a garter belt is definitely a must. wish i would have known that BEFORE my thigh highs were ANKLE HIGHS. ooops!!! course ed loved that, too because it was so darn funny. ;o) it was a flashback to when my slip (i hope you ladies know what that is) fell off in church. we had to actually leave church we were laughing so hard.

Monica said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tourist Scene' Team said...

very cool , great article ..