(It's a short list.)
1. Someone to come and take down all the Christmas paraphernalia, pack it up neatly, label it, and put it back in the attic so that next year we can avoid - near attic break through, miles of lights jumbled together, Christmas ornaments that never quite get put away and end up "by the phone" all year, and Boy Child using the dog's stocking because his is lost.
If said "someone" looks like this, I will not complain.
|Snap, Ms. DayintheLife! Let's get your decorations down and organized! www.fanpop.com|
3. Season Four of The Killing. Or, pay for rehab for me. I trust you, Santa. I know you will pick the one that is better for me. But, remember, Old Man - Work Smart! Rehab these days is expensive.
4. My vision from my 20's back. (My boobs are not on this list because they were on my list last year and I didn't get them. So, I've decided not to be as greedy! I am not too old to learn from my mistakes!)
5. And, while we're talking eyes, could you make those nasty under eye circles go. away? Annoying! I know you like people who help themselves (that's you, right?), so I'll tell you - I'm quite addicted to eye creams and am not above trying Preparation H. I'll try that just as soon as I can get to the store without the five year old. (Mom, What's a tampon?)
6. My memory. I can't remember if that made the list last year?
7. Summer weather, but not with drought because I want to be good to the earth. (See? I've learned from my selfishness!)
8. Don't worry, I'm almost done! Remember Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory, Santa? Well, there was this gum you could chew and it was like a whole dinner? And then that obnoxious girl (I can't remember her name right now - see #6) ate some and ruined it for everyone? Well, along the same lines as the gum that tastes like something great: I want a beer that when I drink it, it tastes like everything good about Christmas. (And if you want to make that zero calories - feel free to delete something else that I've asked for!)
That's it! That's ALL, Santa! I think I've been quite conservative and I have faith in you!
Have a Merry Christmas, Santa!
P.S. - I will practice extreme self-control and not eat your cookies!