Thursday, December 12, 2013

I think I've been nice.

Dear Santa,

(It's a short list.)

1.  Someone to come and take down all the Christmas paraphernalia, pack it up neatly, label it, and put it back in the attic so that next year we can avoid - near attic break through, miles of lights jumbled together, Christmas ornaments that never quite get put away and end up "by the phone" all year, and Boy Child using the dog's stocking because his is lost. 

If said "someone" looks like this, I will not complain.

Snap, Ms. DayintheLife!  Let's get your decorations down and organized!
2.  Downtown Abbey all seasons on Netflix.  Come on!  YOU ARE SANTA.  Or, you can buy it for me, but I already priced it at Target and it'd be cheaper to put it on Netflix.  And I bet it's on a few more people's lists?  Strategy, Santa!  Strategy!

3.  Season Four of The Killing.  Or, pay for rehab for me.  I trust you, Santa.  I know you will pick the one that is better for me.  But, remember, Old Man - Work Smart!  Rehab these days is expensive.

4.  My vision from my 20's back.  (My boobs are not on this list because they were on my list last year and I didn't get them.  So, I've decided not to be as greedy!  I am not too old to learn from my mistakes!)

5.  And, while we're talking eyes, could you make those nasty under eye circles go.  away?  Annoying!  I know you like people who help themselves (that's you, right?), so I'll tell you - I'm quite addicted to eye creams and am not above trying Preparation H.  I'll try that just as soon as I can get to the store without the five year old.  (Mom, What's a tampon?)

6.  My memory.  I can't remember if that made the list last year?

7.  Summer weather, but not with drought because I want to be good to the earth.  (See?  I've learned from my selfishness!)

8.  Don't worry, I'm almost done!  Remember Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory, Santa?  Well, there was this gum you could chew and it was like a whole dinner?  And then that obnoxious girl (I can't remember her name right now - see #6) ate some and ruined it for everyone?  Well, along the same lines as the gum that tastes like something great:  I want a beer that when I drink it, it tastes like everything good about Christmas.  (And if you want to make that zero calories - feel free to delete something else that I've asked for!)

That's it!  That's ALL, Santa!  I think I've been quite conservative and I have faith in you! 

Have a Merry Christmas, Santa!

Ms. DayintheLife

P.S. - I will practice extreme self-control and not eat your cookies!


jamiew said...

See, santa is already at work, he's made you productive, YOU BLOGGED! (or its because you're stuck at home like me, I de-cluttered 3 weeks of piles before Maria got here).

Monica said...

@jamiew - I'm afraid the list The Man left me "because you'll be stuck at home" is untouched. I have wasted the day away surfing the net and flirting with working out. I put the "ass" in procrastination. wait...

Shannon said...

You blogged so I am impressed, my poor blog thinks I died. I want it to be summer too so I will there hanging you with you!! Can't wait.

Monica said...

@Shannon - blogging has taken a backseat to other stuff we have going on right now. and I am excited for summer too!!!!!! xoxo

Nomads By Nature said...

YAY! You're back! Hoping you get at least 4 of your wish list items, especially number 6 or the rest won't matter, will it?
Hope you have a great Merry Christmas this year!

Monica said...

@nomads - you've given me something to think about. santa's all, "I ain't givin' her her memory! then she won't have a CLUE what she asked for! hahahahahaha!" I guess the joke's on me. again. ;o)

Megly Mc said...

I'm not stupid enough to think that Santa has enough magic to give me back my pre-babies stomach, but I would like it if he made all men who see it go spontaneously stupid, so they think I still look hot. I don't think this is too much to ask.

monica said...

@meglymc- I'm reconsidering asking for my eyesight back now (maybe not getting it has something to do with that?) because then I'd actually be able to clearly see my smallish boobs and battle scarred stomach clearly? maybe what I should be asking for is for hubby's eyesight to go south? or just poor lighting?