Tuesday, September 25, 2012

What the what?

I took all the kids to get flu shots.  On a Monday.  In the rain.  (Not really.  It wasn't raining, but it felt like it should have been.)

So, all four kids were all done getting shots and we were exiting the building.  Although we love our pediatrician, she runs her practice from a seedy strip mall.  Her offices are lovely on the inside, but here are the other (often closed, ever changing) businesses located in the same strip mall that could be there on any given day in any combination:

1.  A laundry mat (which is most likely a front).
2.  A gaming shop (which is most likely a front and into which I have only ever seen shady looking adult men go).
3.  A place where you can presumably eat fruit called "Fruity Coma" which is like some ridiculous combination of Spanish and English which literally means fruity eat?  I don't understand it and I don't ever want to understand it.
4.  A barbacoa shop.  (Barbacoa - in case you are not from Mexico or South Texas - is the meat from the cheek of the cow.  It is sinfully delicious and just a little gross.)  It is never open.  The sign on the front says something like, "Closed on Monday.  Closed on Tuesday.  Closed on Wednesday.  Closed on Thursday.  Closed on Friday.  Open on Saturday if and when the barbacoa is ready.  Closed when sold out.  Open on Sunday until we run out."  I am exhausted every time I read this sign, and I never want to go there.
5.  A pharmacy (which I thought was selling legitimate drugs).
6.  Some sort of tobacco store (which I also thought was legitimate and which was apparently closed this particular day).

As we were exiting the office, Girl 1 said, "Hmm.  There used to be a pharmacy there."  I heard her, and in my head I said, "Baby, there used to be a lot of things here."

As we were driving home Girl 1 said again, "Mom?  You know that pharmacy that used to be next to Dr. L's office?"

I said, "Hmhmm."

"Well, it looked like it was closed down.  That's kinda good because it never really looked like a real pharmacy in the first place.  You know the kind where you get drugs?"

I said, "Uh-huh.  Exactly." In my head I said, "Baby, you could probably get drugs a lot of places at that strip mall."

Boy child then said, "Wait.  What?  I don't think it did either, Girl 1.  It looked like some kind of weird place and there were always weird signs on the door."

Girl 1, "Yeah.  I know.  Like for smoking and stuff?  Right?"

That made me pay attention and so then I said, "Wait.  What?  Are you guys talking about that pharmacy next to Dr. L's?  The one that had the Dora and Mickey Mouse signs on it?  And some medicare signs???"

Girl 1, "No.  That place looked like it was still open.  We're talking about the other place.  The other pharmacy."

I said, "What?  I'm confused."

Boy child, "Mom!  We're talking about the other pharmacy in that strip mall.  Y'know the one where they sell real drugs."

I said (weakly), "Real drugs?  What are you talking about?"

Boy child, "Yeah.  Y'know real drugs.  Like cigarettes, and beer, and tobacco."


WeezaFish said...

Real drugs Mum :) That reminds me of a Mall I went to in Pretoria once. The only thing missing from yours is a bar with painted out windows and a gum ball machine outside. For the kids, you see.

Shannon said...

I love your kids, they make me feel better about my own. Should we put up warning signs around the 'hood when I hit town this winter and they're all together again?

jamiew said...

maybe the "real drug" store merged with the barbacoa place.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap! I've been shopping at the wrong store this whole time!

Monica said...

@weezafish - omg. the last line of your comment is absolutely priceless. @shannon - it's possible we will need warning signs. @jamie - and they are always "closed?" @whatimeant2say - i live on the northside, but drive five miles any way and it's psuedo-ghetto. keeps me grounded. ;o)

Leigh Powell Hines said...

So funny. Impressed on the flu shots. Haven't gotten ours yet.