Tuesday, September 4, 2012

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Inevitably on one of my many trips to my kids' school, I will see what one of my kids wrote on their What I Did On My Summer Vacation report upon returning to school and I will cringe and hope that their teacher didn't read the papers with a fine tooth comb or that some over achieving parent didn't read it so that I do not have to suffer the smirks when they meet me later and think back, "Oh, that's the parent that had the kid that said they 'got yelled at a lot on their summer vacation.'"

Is there anything as old as What I Did On My Summer Vacation papers?  I mean, did the baby T-Rex do it, too?  It's like this pre-historic ritual dating back to fire and/or the wheel.

Because I am an ex-teacher and because I have four kids and like to be prepared (ha-ha), we usually practice what the kids are going to write right before we go back to school so that no one writes:  "Nothing," or "Fought a lot with my sisters," or "Ate loads of junk food and watched inappropriate TV."  Not that any of my kids have ever done any of that.

This year I decided to hell with the kids.  I'm going to practice and refine my own report.  So, that's what I did.  (Minus the practicing - this is pretty much straight from my muddled, middle-aged brain to yours - not that you are muddled or middle-aged, but if you are, I'm sorry.) 

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

1.  I failed to practice No Child Left Behind during our vacation at a family resort and inadvertently did not notice that Girl 3 was missing from the elevator until the elevator doors closed.  Thanks to a quick acting husband who springs into action when there is any emergency, Girl 3 was found unscathed and in the presence of several kind strangers who were trying to elicit from her her name and her parents' name.  Hubby immediately told them all, "Thank you!!!" and "Her mother lost track of her and got on the elevator without her."  Thank you, hubby.

2.  I taught Girl 3 how to spell her name.  Well, I didn't really teach her.  Hubby and Girl 1 did.  (Too bad they didn't do that before we lost her, eh?)  I'm putting it on my list, though, because technically if they could put it on their lists, so could I. 

3.  I took on one more job - bringing my grand total to four.  So, if my list next year says, "Took a vacation in the Crazy House," y'all will know why.

4.  I learned how to cook Quinoa.  And I learned to like it.  I know.  That's crazy, huh?  More on that in another post.

5.  I made more cake pops than one person who is clumsy, has no gift for detail, is impatient, and can't really bake should EVER make.  I did not improve one iota.

6.  I finished more books than I had the time to finish the entire school year of 2011-2012. 

7.  I worked out diligently.  I know.  Blech.  But, recently I bought hubby a scale.  I stepped on it (the first time I've been on a scale since our last one broke - I don't think from weight, but who knows) and I weigh nine pounds less than the last time I stepped on a scale.  It's probably wrong, but I'll take something that is wrong that makes me feel accomplished than something that is accurate that makes me want to throw in the towel. 

8.  I slept insanely late (eight-ish) some days, and went to be insanely early some days (eight-ish). 

9.  I mostly gave up processed food.  Again.

10.  And the best thing I did this summer that may (or may not) give me the strength to get through this treacherous school year:  I laughed a lot at my kids, with my kids, and around my kids.

I hope your summer was memorable in a fabulous way and that you find yourself ready for this school year, and that if you aren't ready that you find yourself with lots of beer and dark chocolate to get you through.


Mind Margins said...

My kids are grown but it doesn't stop me from using beer and dark chocolate to get through an insanely hot summer of training for a trail race. I'm so glad cake pops weren't around when my kids were little. I don't share well. Congrats on losing nine pounds (obviously you shared)!

Monica said...

@mind margins - well, we don't really know if i've lost any weight. i suspect it's the CHEAP scale i bought at target. i have my first physical in about 20 years scheduled for soon, so we will find out the truth then. ;o) beer and dark chocolate - fabulous training eats!

WeezaFish said...

You did so much! We're just heading into Spring over here so you're inspiring me for my Summer Vacation. I mean, the kids. The KIDS Summer Vacation. I feel most proud (of you) for finishing the books. Now you can start new ones! You have four jobs?? You crazy?

Monica said...

@weeza - yes, ma'am. i am CA-RAZY. ;o) well knowing that you are just now heading into your summer, i feel helpful! be careful and don't lose kids like i did. ;o) my new favorite author: joe nesbo. he is fabulous.