Saturday, May 25, 2013

Bad things happen in 3's...or 13's...or 33's. But who's counting?

So, you might have known that back in January while hubby was out of town with work, our microwave (that we'd had for about 11 years) broke. 

That was the beginning of the end.

For about one day after it broke, I felt just like a pilgrim while I actually cooked everythingOn the stove.  (Pilgrims had stoves, right?) 

Then after much furious texting between hubby and I (while he was in some "important" meetings) about how much microwaves cost "nowadays," I texted hubby from Lowe's:  Babe, the cheapest microwave is $120.00 and it looks like it would hold one bag of single serve popcorn.  I *think* it belongs in a hotel.  A hotel where only one person will be staying.

About 15 minutes and $260 later, I walked out with a sleek, stainless steel, working microwave that can *almost* hold a 9 x 13 pan.  Damn my faulty measuring.

That's when it all went down the crapper.

The complete list of everything in our house that has broken since the 11 year old microwave died in January:

1.  The air conditioner.
2.  The water heater.
3.  My trusty, dependable 20 year old hair dryer.
4.  The puppy.
5.  The garbage disposal.  Seriously?  Whose garbage disposal up and breaks???  I swear I didn't even put a fork in it.
6.  The cheese drawer on the ancient (white) fridge.  Firstly, who still has a white fridge?  Secondly, I know this isn't a real "break," but damn it if it isn't annoying to not be able to close that drawer properly.
7.  The Keurig.  (Thankfully hubby was able to fix that before I had to even miss one cup of coffee.  Thank you, hubby for not making me kill anyone.)

And, today I came back from my run to this:

Hubby:  The TV broke while you were gone.

$%&*#%  $%&*%$ is what I said.

Seriously?  I feel like I want to bury a saint in my front yard or go to a curandero, or have my house blessed.  Again.  Cheesus, Mary, and Joseph.  Someone cut me a break.

Photo courtesy:  forums:  I bet you didn't even know people still had TVs like this.  We do and now ours is broken.  If you hear screaming it's us being dragged into this century by force.


Nomads By Nature said...

My fridge, which is government issued, is white and they will stay white till it comes back in style as the new retro. Of course, there is usually so much crap attached to it with magnets, especially during the school year, that you might not know its real color. And so you feel even better - to fix or replace the broken down appliance, you have to go through government paperwork which can take several days because there is no such things as running to LOWES. Also, the cool things we have, like a great fancy oven --- only half my pans will fit inside. Feel better yet? Hoping the rest of your home functions properly for another 13 plus years!

Shannon said...

Nomads is right, we ALL have ugly (too small) white fridges, and trying to get stuff fixed is a pain in the behind. When the washer broke down again they brought out the new, or at least different washer and then left the old one in the middle of my kitchen. Almost 2 weeks later and umpteen calls it was still there. And then the guy on the other side of the phone asked if I had put in a work order to have it removed. Apparently a work order to have the broken washer fixed did not cover actually removing the broken one, and yeah I reacted pretty much the way you think I did.

At least Nomads has a cool (too small) stove. I have the exact same stove that Danny does, the one I cursed every summer when I cooked for the family at his house and burned everything because it is a cheap piece of cr*p and can't hold a steady temp. Fingers crossed that i have something better in Muscat.

And wait until you see the fridge in my new(ish) house. White, and TINY! Like apartment sized, intact I think the one I had in my apartment in college was bigger. I have to check by seeing how much beer it can hold, then host in a girls night in to get rid of it all. How does a Karaoke night sound?

Anonymous said...

DID I MISS SOMETHING?!!!!! When did the puppy die?

Monica said...

@nomads and Shannon - well, although I do feel for both of you and would not want to necessarily trade places with either of you - - at least you have an excuse of sorts. YOU ARE NOT HERE. I am here and it is still pathetic. @Shannon - yes, we will test the beverage capacity of any fridge. ;o) @whatimeant2say - no. no worries. you did not miss anything. puppy was "broken" not dead. he's grown on me quite quickly so if he did die i'd be pretty sad actually. he got some sort of nasty "undiagnosable?" stomach virus which cost, oh, about $200. next time I will know to just feed him chicken and rice for a week. ;o)

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness Puppy did not die. Wonderbutt was quite concerned. Not me. I wasn't panicked at all.

Megly Mc said...

Everyone gets a turn at being in the're getting a ton of your turns over with at once. The good news is that you'll be done for AGES when this is over.

Monica said...

@Megly Mc - I can only hope. p.s. - I posted a link on your blog (not spam) that I thought you might enjoy. thanks for the read and comment. :D

Megly Mc said...

Love it! THANK YOU! :)

Megly Mc said...

Ugh...I just moved, and I don't have a microwave, and I had this high ideal of "maybe we'll go without...they're supposedly bad for you" thing, and now, three days later, I'm window shopping those mo-fos like it's going out of style.

TNMom said...

My neighbor has seven kids (yes SEVEN) and does not use a microwave. DOES. NOT. COMPUTE. Better luck is around the corner...come on corner! <3 Devan

Monica said...

@meglymc - yeah, I got all high and mighty a while back and was all, "omg. those rays of poison will kill us." I tried a few hours without using it and it was back to killing my family and me slowly. good luck. I recommend one that actually fits a 9 x 13 pan. ;) @tnmom (when I type your name I want to type TNTmom) - it's just nuts because today I dropped a full container of yogurt, it hit the bottom of the fridge, ricocheted and hit the bottom shelf on the door and snapped that shelf RIGHT OFF which broke a jar of jelly (Costco size) that was stored on the shelf. DAMN IT TO HELL. so...........I had a WWIII size mess AND a broken shelf. BUT, I just know my good luck is around the corner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!