It's December as evidenced by a serious lack of posts.
Here is the short list.
1. I hate Elf on a Shelf. WTF? My hatred for this creepy guy is about equal to the amount of crap that I have to see about what he's done. I will say about him what I say about dogs who $hit on the floor, "Hot dog." I am sorry if that doesn't make sense to you. (It's 5:30 a.m.)
2. It's 5:30 a.m. And here I am blogging. When I got up early to work. Damn it. I hate it when I do this.
3. I have not started any Christmas shopping because in a rage and fit of anger I told the kids Christmas was cancelled (I think that was before Halloween). Can Christmas be cancelled?
4. I will be attending three Christmas parties in three days this weekend. This makes me delighted in that I haven't felt this popular since one time in high school when my name was called over the loud speaker and it was said that I had won something (that was later explained as a mistake). It also makes me feel like Christmas parties make the list right there with: work, laundry, cleaning, cooking, and other things I am obliged to do.
6. I can't count.
7. I am considering just buying more storage boxes for our Christmas decorations for my Christmas presents. This is just wrong on so many levels.
8. I miss you guys and Pinterest as much as I miss no grey hair.
9. Life has been incredibly not funny lately. This is actually a good thing because it means all my kids (and hubby) are being fairly well behaved. I am pleased that we all might be learning how to get along and a little disappointed that I really have nothing to say.
10. I have no desire to eat sweets. At this exact moment. (Did I say it's just after 5:30 a.m.?) I will ride this train until it stops. Which judging from past experience should be around 8:00 p.m. tomorrow night when I will want more beer and a sandwich. And maybe some chocolate cake after that.
11. I still suck at wrapping presents. Seriously? I am The Worst Wrapper Ever. People actually sent me videos last year on Facebook to help me. It didn't help. When do kids reach the age where I can just go, "There. Here's your Target bag with your presents in it." I am really like Santa in that way. Doesn't he just put everything in a big black bag? Or do all the creepy elves do the wrapping? If it's the creepy elves, maybe I need some of those guys?
12. Y'know how we don't have cable? Well every year I wait for all the Christmas shows on regular T.V. Yeah, I know. Like who does that anymore? ME. Well, I think I missed Rudolph. Damn it. That's my FAVORITE. Now I have to wait until next year. Again, this is wrong on so many levels.
P.S. (Because at 5:30 a.m. I cannot be expected to remember things well.) 13. Yesterday hubby and I went to see a lawyer (not a divorce lawyer). In the span of about an hour (because we were paying her by the hour and she gets paid $380 an hour so you know I was doing some serious clock watching) she told us she used to be an RN and she had an MBA. Yowza. And now she's a lawyer who makes $380 an hour? I left feeling like a serious under achiever. Oh, and she asked us to sign a contract. Is it weird that I was confused? "Um, I'm going to have to have my lawyer review this. Oh, wait..."
That's all I got. My kids are now up.
Have a great weekend, guys and I hope I am back in the land of the blogging soon.