Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I'll take a slab of meat with that salad, thank you

So, if you know me - you know that I make no bones about not being a good cook. Let it be said loud and clear - "I AM NOT A COOK." A self-professed hopeless foodie - yes. Cook - no. But, like a lot of things I am not good at - I have been forced into the job. It has taken me about............18 years...............to fall into what I will call a "comfortable zone" with cooking. Basically I am married to a man who works full-time and likes to eat and I have four kids who also like to eat (damn them all). So, I have learned over the course of 20 years to cook things that people will eat. About 19 years into my marriage and at least three kids later I had mastered the art of menu planning, shopping for five or six, cooking, and thankfully having most of the people at the table eat and like what they were eating. AND I could vary this up somewhat about 15 times so that we were not eating the same thing every day.

We were rockin' along nicely when my husband wanted me and him to watch this movie. Enter the movie: Food, Inc.

Now, if you have not seen the movie (or you have) - have no fear. This post is not an ad for this movie. Suffice it to say, though, that this movie has changed the way I view food and the way I cook.

So, (or so what? you might be thinking) what happens when you are the cook for six people and you see something that changes the way you view food and cook??? Other people in your house will be forced to change. That's what happens. And sometimes this change will be painful.

I could go on and on with this post and I must admit before I started writing I hadn't given an outline much of a thought - so bear with me - this is probably going to be haphazard and strange - MUCH LIKE WHAT WE'VE BEEN EATING SINCE APRIL.

Since I have so much to say on this subject of - what was the subject? - oh, yeah - food - I have developed what I do best - A LIST!!!

So, here it goes. Here is my Food, List. Get it? Food, Inc.? Food, List. Ha! Hey - I told you there was not a lot of thought put into this. ;o)


1. Vegetarians are damn skinny because THERE IS NOTHING TO EAT.

2. I can no longer eat fast food. And I mean this quite literally. Before I watched the movie I knew what was in fast food - but still I managed to force it down. Now, not so. I went through the Burger King drive through the other day and I just couldn't purchase anything. So, then I bought a fast food salad and worried for a week that I was going to die of salmonella.

3. My one kid who is a tried and true carnivore hates me.

4. All babies who have started on "food" may be vegetarians. Which has lead me to question many things. Are we born to be vegetarians?

5. I don't have time to research new recipes that don't include meat. So, when I am feeling lazy (that being most of the time) I just make the meat recipes with no meat. This is problematic when the main ingredient of the recipe is...........................MEAT.

6. I have mastered about 5 meatless recipes that my family will eat. So, basically we have no variety. We eat the same things over and over and over. This makes no one happy.

7. Meat that comes from a FARM (imagine that???) and has been environmentally and humanely processed tastes different. I always thought that was hogwash (hehehehehehe), but now I am a believer.

8. My tiny carnivore has taken to researching where we can buy organic meat.

9. I am having trouble with preservatives. When you buy food with no preservatives........................IT GOES BAD.

10. It takes a while to not crave preservatives. Since I have been eating them for about 20 years I sometimes want to eat them again.

There's my list of random food thoughts. But, I would be remiss if I didn't leave you with a recipe. My sister that I love SO MUCH (yes, she reads my blog. no, this is not gratuitous kissing up) because she is so funny and also just because I love her sent me this GEM of a book. I love it so much and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy she sent it to me. It is called, The All NEW Meatless Diet - copyright 1980 (so, not too new ;o). It was sold for 59 CENTS (how could they sell this for 59 CENTS when it is worth so much more??????????) and it says at the bottom, "Congratulations! On being willing to try an all NEW Diet Program." Gosh, I love that. Not only is it grammatically INCORRECT, how many times are you THANKED for trying a new diet program?????????? It comes complete with information on dieting, a two week diet plan, 32 recipes, weight loss diaries, and a calorie counter. But, wait - - - - IT FITS IN YOUR POCKET!!!!!!!! Okay, so I am going to leave you with a recipe from this little gem of a book that you will want to rush out and make for dinner tonight. AND your family will LOVE you. So, here it goes readers. You can thank me later. ;o) And, sissy - I LOVE YOU!

Peanut Butter Surprise (anything in italics - I have taken the liberty to add ;o)

4 cups shredded cabbage, cooked (wow, is that the surprise, because I am SURPRISED)
1/2 cup cottage cheese (whoa, another surprise - I would have never seen that coming)
1 tablespoon chunky-style peanut butter
2 tablespoons raisins (now, who would eat this, again?)
1 tablespoon parsley flakes (because everything is better with parsley)
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon (WOW - a creative pairing of spices, there)
1 tablespoon of lemon juice optional (well, thank goodness that's optional)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees (or more because you might want to burn the kitchen down after making this).
Place hot, steamed cabbage in a bowl and mix together with remaining ingredients. Spread in a baby loaf pan (believe me there is not a baby alive that will eat this - - even if they were born vegetarians) and bake for 15 minutes, or until firm.

This dish is on the dinner menus of pages 12 and 17. (SAY WHAT? There's a dinner to go with this??? For 59 CENTS???)

As my mother would say, "Bon appetite!"


Shannon said...

OK we are eating vegetarian 4 nights this week but I can assure you I am NEVER EVER EVER going to eat peanut butter surprise. That sounds incredibly nasty, although if I make that perhaps the boys would quit gagging when i make lentil rice pilaf, which by the way is yummy.

Oh and David wants to know how to make meatless beef jerky. I am thinking tofu jerky?? Gagging now.

Monica said...

OMG - isn't that recipe HILARIOUS??? WHO would eat that??? AND it's not even the funniest - i will have to show you this priceless little book the next time you are here. it is a KEEPER. tell dave - NO BEEF JERKY HERE!!!

baikal said...

I purposely have avoided that movie because I don't want to be forced to change my carnivorous factory food ways. Dang it...

Jae said...

I cannot eat fast food anymore either, and tho we're not veggie heads, ;o we are mostly organic Chicken eaters ... love this post! you are right on, as always!

Becky said...

Found your blog from Shannon's. I love it! This post had me laughing so hard.