So, I will write

Sometimes it helps. Only the decent stuff actually gets "published," but I am up and writing most everyday. Most of it deleted upon finishing...Not sure what will happen today. Mom has been dead now for 10 days. And, today I am actually feeling quasi-normal. Haven't cried yet. I have a to-do list sitting right next to my lap-top...staring dreadfully at me. There is nasty turkey still in the fridge, I can smell Starbucks coffee, and the laundry is fairly caught-up. If you didn't know - it might seem like any other Monday after Thanksgiving. But, sadly, this one is way different. There is just that big hole in my heart that I can't seem to get around. There are the million times throughout the day that I think, "Ah, mom will like that. I will have to remember to tell her the next time we talk." There is just the nagging headache that I realize is from days and days with no sleep. There is just that brief moment every morning that I wake from sleep and forget that mom is dead and the world seems great. Then, I remember. Mom is dead. And that feeling just consumes me and I wish I could go back to sleep. There is the fact that the kids went back to school today. Smiling faces full of the anticipation that the post- Thanksgiving pre-Christmas season will bring. So, I am alone with baby. Ugh. Any other time I would welcome it. Today I am not sure I can bear it. So, I will start my to-do list and manage the day. Because I do know that time heals all wounds. Or at least time buries them deep enough so that they only emerge when you least expect it. Besides #1 on my list is Get Up (apparently I was feeling pretty productive when I wrote the list). So, technically I am ahead of schedule. Yippee. It's going to be a good one! Till the 11th day..................

Well, the laundry ain't getting done

So, I had forgotten the joys of cutting the first year molars. Apparently the symptoms are: whininess, nasty poop, no appetite, whininess, uncontrollable drooling, snot, whininess, suck everything I can get in my mouth, and did I say whininess? Well, let me just say if you don't have kids, had kids and forgot, or are currently with kids - the joys of teething are endless and should be experienced by everyone. :o)

I know you are wondering, Could anything make cutting the first year molars easier? Funny you should ask! YES! Another child with flu-like symptoms. Add that to the mix and you have a PARTY on your hands.

So, here is a to-not-do list for today. If you have never heard of a to-not-do list let this be your introduction. It is pretty self-explanatory and gets replaced with "1. Act as a nurse."

1. Laundry (see title)
2. Piggies and Paws prints
3. Purchasing for our house re-do (that one is okay because there is no money in the checking account anyway) ;o)
4. Any miscellaneous cleaning (which when I do it is pretty haphazard and unenthusiastic anyway)
5. Cooking
6. Make kids' follow-up dental appointments

So (and this mostly goes out to the other five people I live with - five of whom don't read the blog - so I am not sure how this will help them - but it will dang sure make me feel better), the laundry ain't getting done today and for dinner - how 'bout you help yourselves to some leftover Halloween candy? You don't need a fork or knife, there's plenty of it, and since I can't make your follow-up dental appointments the coast is clear for guilt-free eating.

Cutting the Apron Strings....Thread by Thread

Okay, so my kids are 7, 6, 5 and 1 so the cutting we are talking about here is minuscule comparatively. That being said, being that I am a total Law and Order FANATIC makes any kind of 'cutting of threads that tie me to my kids' extremely difficult. I experience anxiety about crazy things and constantly work to keep that at bay. So, it was with this slightly frantic frame of mind that I let my seven year old venture out last night on his first night without me or his dad.

First rule of Letting Your Kids Be Away From You With Other Parents - always, always, always know the parents you are entrusting with your child. Know their values, trust them, and know that they will protect your child......I had never meant them.

Second rule - don't start out with something really, really huge like going to a venue that seats - oh about 10,000??? Consider something smaller - like a birthday party.........He went to AT and T center.

Third rule - always discuss with your child your expectations for his behavior, stranger danger, etc., etc. CHECK! Did that! Drilled him for 8 days!!! Specifically for 8 days - otherwise my kids are drilled on this everyday of their lives. ;o)

The good news is that even though mom broke a few rules, it all turned out okay and bubby got to experience Walking With the Dinosaurs which we would never be able to afford to send him to. Yay Bubby! I hope to post pictures soon. :o)

I had to laugh at me and E. sitting on the couch watching yet another episode of Law and Order (me also praying constantly in my head), though, waiting for him to come home. It provided an eerie look into the future and I know I am not ready for that. Good thing this will come thread by thread. ;o)

Halloween...a day and night for rule changing

When you try to cram too much into Halloween day two things are going to happen. 1. The kids are going to throw giant fits and turn into devil children. 2. The pumpkins are going to get carved the day AFTER Halloween. So, we did what we could and had a blast doing it. Here are our pictures. Enjoy! Oh, and this would really be scary if I did this Halloween post without a LIST. Have no fear:

LIST OF RANDOM THINGS RELATED TO HALLOWEEN:

1. Attending a potluck on Halloween when you have four kids is a GREAT idea. Mess up someone else's kitchen, feed your kids, and get out while you can and before total meltdown (that will come later when their bellies are full of sugar and they are up 40 hours after their bedtime). (Thank you B.C.)

2. Porch lights off = not participating in Halloween is a good idea, but not necessarily a time honored tradition in our neighborhood (that's for you, K.E.). It could just mean they are busy and will answer when they are good and ready with lots of candy for your kids who are already on to the next house.

3. Although I do not fully understand Neighbors Who Have No Kids But Who Decorate Above and Beyond for Halloween - I love you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

4. Generally kids crossing the street from side to side after dark wearing dark clothing and heads covered with masks making breathing and seeing virtually impossible is really, really dangerous. But on Halloween - it's encouraged, required, and seemingly healthy.

5. Candy when given without restriction can cause a catatonic stage followed by bursts of strange and lively activity. This cycle can continue until the child can either no longer walk to the area where the candy is, or cannot muster the energy to come out of the trance.

6. Halloween Mainland Square 2009 was the best one that I can remember (except for last year). :o)