Friday, January 23, 2015

The Internet might be trying to break up with me.

Lately the Internet has been so passive aggressive.

Usually I say to the Interwebs, LYLAS.  Or actually LYLAB since the Internet is masculine (naturally because he sucks at honestly expressing his feelings).  But, lately it seems like he's mad at me.  (But, of course, he won't come right out and tell me what I did to piss him off.)

Instead he's all, "Prove you're not a robot."  (In a hateful voice.  In places where it's clear he's mocking me - like my own blog.)  Then when I'm all, "Dude, how long have we known each other?  You know I'm not a robot."  He's still all, "PROVE IT."

Also, lately he's constantly taunting me with, "Leave this page or stay on this page?  You are not finished commenting yet."  Even when I say, "Yes.  Yes, I am done commenting.  Let me leave."  He insists that I'm not.  He's become that friend who tries to know me better than I know myself.  That friend that gives me unsolicited advice.  Whattup?

He's kinda been that friend that ignores my texts, too.  I'm all clicking "log on" and he's clearly all, "Not now," and "I don't think so," and "You really don't want to do this."

It's pissing me off.  I want us to be like we used to be.





7 comments:

jamiew said...

I just had to google LYLAS.
Clearly I'm on a "smile as you pass by, but don't make eye contact" kind of relationship w/ the inter webs.
& I had to go through the nine levels of security hell to leave this comment.

jamiew said...

I just had to google LYLAS.
Clearly I'm on a "smile as you pass by, but don't make eye contact" kind of relationship w/ the inter webs.
& I had to go through the nine levels of security hell to leave this comment.

Monica said...

@jamiew - yes, the nine levels of security is like the seven? circles of hell. and I am amused that you did not know LYLAS (since it's about as old as me). and also: see my comment on facebook. see my comment on facebook. ha! (I make myself laugh.)

Megly Mc said...

Google analytics (it's fun, 'cause it has 'anal' in it) are now trying to figure out why everyone is googling LYLAS. And I'm constantly sending emails to the person I'm talking about. I'm an asshole.

Monica said...

@megly mc - (we share a love of middle school humor.) my BFF (best friend forever) and I used to write LYLAS on every single note we sent to each other back in elementary school. so, imagine my chagrin when on NPR the other day the commentator was saying how LYLAS *might* have been the first "talk text" before there were even cell phones (and then he questioned whether there were even regular phones in 'those days.') I immediately ripped up my charity check to Public Radio.

Nomads By Nature said...

Keep posting! I don't feel so alone and I get to smile about things in life like my underlying suspicion that I could be a robot after the third attempt to type in nonsense on a keyboard, or worse, hidden meaning messages like now :thou certibor. Makes me wonder if I'm being brainwashed by AI.

Monica said...

@nomads - oh, man. don't even get me started on the "hidden messages." I go all conspiracy theory some days when I can swear I am getting hidden messages in every damn captcha. <<<<that guy is out. to. get. me.

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