Friday, November 15, 2013

Is it too late to write my own vows?

Hubby's Real Life Vows (updated because after being with hubby for 12 hours, I thought of three more.).

1.  I promise to not hate you when you put everything in the garbage disposal.  And then blame it on the kids.  And then ask me to "fix it."
In  my defense, he bought four.  There's still two left!!!

2.  I promise to gently remind you about details when you tell me, "I know I haven't seen this movie."

3.  I promise to cover for you in the areas of:  science, politics, religion, and trivia even though you have a master's degree.

4.  I promise to not hate you even when you shrink every single one of my nice shirts and then blame it on the quality of the fabric.

5.  I promise to not be jealous of fictional TV detectives that you fall in love with and virtually stalk.

6.  I promise to be able to find and download every obscure song that you hear on NPR and want on your playlist.  Even though you only give me one word (sung off-key) on which to go by.

7.  I promise to not be offended when you constantly correct my grammar, spelling, and vocabulary.

8.  I promise to take all the photographs of everything.  Everywhere.  For eternity.

9.  I promise to not be too pissed when every photo you take of me is blurry, off-center, or my head is cut off.

10.  I promise to understand when you get lost.  In the city you have lived in for 15 years.  In the mall.  On the way to find the restroom.  On vacation.  In the hospital.

11.  I promise to understand that procrastination is actually a skill that requires high levels of intelligence, self-control, and organization. 

12.  I promise not to laugh when you start to say something Very Important, but cannot remember any of the details or why it was actually Important.

13.  I promise to understand that when you say, "If you don't eat these leftovers today they are going in the trash," it is because you cannot waste food, not because you are trying to give me food poisoning.

14.  I promise to understand that next to breathing, sleeping is your favorite pastime.

15.  I promise to understand that you are physically incapable of making your own coffee.  Even when I buy you a Keurig.

I now pronounce you man and wife.


jamiew said...

can i copy yours?

Jae said...

Yeah me too! Can I copy yours???

Monica said...

@jamiew and jae - I'm thinking there might be a market for this? IS THIS FINALLY MY MONEYMAKER???

WeezaFish said...

Perfect vows Monica, maybe this IS your moneymaker?? My sweet, young, innocent little sister is getting married next year. I'll be in touch ...

Monica said...

@weezafish - I think hubby will be ecstatic that I've finally found something.