Thursday, February 3, 2011

I may be psychotic, but that should come as no surprise.

So, just a quick update from yesterday's It's Too Cold in South Texas 2011 Dressing Disaster.  You will all be pleased and happy to know that as a mother I have totally redeemed myself (and PAY ATTENTION because in my life this never rarely happens).  Last night I had the foresight (I know, what's that???) to set my alarm 20 minutes EARLY (that would be setting it for Too Freaking Early) so that the peeps could be physically and mentally ready for the Cold.

So, here's a Post Groundhog Day (more on that later) Morning recap:

6:00 - I heard on the radio that we would more than likely experience the same power outages that we did yesterday (termed brown-outs not BLACK-outs.  hmm.  more on that later, too).
6:05 - I lit a fire (not figuratively like usual - literally) so that I could make the peeps breakfast tacos.
6:07 - I woke the peeps up in an attempt to have everyone ready before the power outage.
6:10 - I was delighted that no one was arguing about wearing warm clothes.
6:11 - I made a mental note to "thank" hubby later (don't think about that too much or you will want to poke your mind's eye out) for somehow performing an impressive sewing feat (without an actual sewing machine???) and fixing bubby's Old Navy (gosh, I love that place) winter vest zipper (after bubby searched his messy closet last night and found said vest).
6:17 - The kids were dressed APPROPRIATELY (can I get an AMEN?) and came down for breakfast.
6:20 - They all went back up to brush teeth and do mouthwash while I screamed, "Don't forget your flashlights, and let's all be ready before the power goes out today!!!"
6:25 - The kids were happily (I know we are in some sort of alternate universe today) putting on all their winter wear and chattering incessantly about how it was going to SNOW on Thursday (I know - I told them that in an effort to gain more points as Best Mom in the Universe - the Alternate Universe - that is).  I normally do not encourage this kind of CRAZY thinking (snow in South Texas - are you NUTS???), but today I not only encouraged it I found myself saying psychotic things like, "Yes, baby.  Weathermen know exactly what they are talking about.  They are SOOOOOOO smart.  Yes, they are like the smartest people on the planet.  Yes, I know I have said they don't know anything in the past, but I changed my mind it IS going to snow Thursday.  It is.  It is."  I felt a little Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.  Now, if you know me you know that I abhor weather people (sorry if you are one - don't stop reading my blog and don't hate me), so this was just crazy talk.  Sheesh.  I am almost convinced that it is GOING TO SNOW ON THURSDAY.  That's how convincing I was.
640 - All the kids sat on my couch and watched TV in all their paraphernalia and complained periodically that they were hot and when the heck was the power going to go out.  Collectively they could be heard saying things like, "MOM.  What were you thinking getting us dressed all warm like this???  The power is still on!!!???  Can we take these clothes OFF???"  While I said, "No.  Be quiet.  Watch TV.  Be happy you are warm."
7:06 - The bus came and went in the light with no power outage.  Boo.  Hiss.
7:59 - Baby is still asleep as I type this.  OR she has long since suffocated in her room - which may be too hot.

That's my update.  Thanks for the read.

Here's the POST SCRIPT.

1.  There is a saying about being prepared (I can't think what it is and it doesn't matter) and it is a lie.  When you are prepared what you are PREPARED for is not going to happen.  That is God's sense of humor.  He loves you, but He also needs a good laugh every once in a while.
2.  What used to be called black-outs are now called BROWN-outs.  Did you know this?  I learned it yesterday and was frankly amazed that no one had more to say about this.  What is up with this?  This fact was not lost on my kids.  After my boy child Know-It-All told this fact to everyone, my girl child said, "Why are they called brown-outs, mama?  Aren't WE brown?  Are we OUT now?  Oh, wait.  Were black people OUT before?  Because that's not right, either."  To which I answered (because I know everything), "I have no idea, baby.  But, I agree.  It is fascinating."
3.  The Punxsutawney ground hog's name is Phil.  (This next fact is from the same girl child who was talking in #2).  He lives with his two brothers named Phillip and Larry (no, not really Larry, I just can't remember the other one's name and him being named Larry is just funny).  Which prompted more questioning, "Mama, why are two brothers named Phil and Phillip?  Dont' you think that's weird?  Would you do that to us?"  To which I answered, "Yes, baby I think that's weird.  Mama is not going to have anymore babies, but if I were I would never do that to you.  I am not THAT crazy."


Jae said...

Better to be prepared than not, I say! And the kids got to watch TV, of all things, before the bus! You Rock!

I too, have an utter distrust of all weather peeps... but ... I do hope we see some flurries!

Monica said...

Well, you know the man I am married to is fond of saying, "He who fails to plan, plans to fail." I am fond of saying, "Phooey to you, E." But, it was KIND of nice this morning. Just sayin.' ;o)

Shannon said...

You are just both too funny, I believe I will back outside and bask in the warm malawi sun.

Monica said...

OMG shannon i read your post about flip-flops, english muffins, mango jelly, and 70s temp and i told ed, "babe, i'm going to malawi and i might not come home."