It's SUMMER! Can you believe it? Summer always comes with mixed emotions for me. The good: no more lunches to pack, no more schedule to follow, no more homework to help with, no more bedtime to adhere to, no more teachers to explain to. The bad: my kids are aging before my eyes. The ugly: Me having my midlife crisis and crying in random places that are embarrassing to my four kids and my four kids whining about me crying in weird places. So, I know that's kind of disjointed, but that's why you haven't heard from me in a while. Basically, I've been happy/sad that my kids are successfully growing up and passing to the next grade. (I didn't say I was rationale.)
I desperately want to be happy about summer because I love summer, but I feel a tugging at my heart (or it could just be that midlife crisis thing) knowing that we don't have that much time left. Nuts, huh? The kids are in elementary for heaven's sake. I know. Even as I type it (or think it for that matter) it seems crazy. But it's how I feel. I look at them and I can barely remember when the older three were 3, 2, and 1. And, sadly I don't really want to remember much from those days.
Looking back it seems that I spent much of that time wishing they were older and could do more for themselves because...I was flat-out exhausted. Now, I spend a lot of time being amazed (and just a little sad) about how much they don't need me anymore.
The retrospection has been mostly good. I try to spend more time now enjoying the moments rather than wishing for the future. I am excited for this summer. I am excited to have more time with them (and, yes, you can quote me on that later - like tomorrow - when I am ready to ship them all to summer school). Happy dog days!