Thursday, June 2, 2011

Turn your calendar. Summer's here.

It's SUMMER!  Can you believe it?  Summer always comes with mixed emotions for me.  The good:  no more lunches to pack, no more schedule to follow, no more homework to help with, no more bedtime to adhere to, no more teachers to explain to.  The bad:  my kids are aging before my eyes.  The ugly:  Me having my midlife crisis and crying in random places that are embarrassing to my four kids and my four kids whining about me crying in weird places.  So, I know that's kind of disjointed, but that's why you haven't heard from me in a while.  Basically, I've been happy/sad that my kids are successfully growing up and passing to the next grade.  (I didn't say I was rationale.)

I desperately want to be happy about summer because I love summer, but I feel a tugging at my heart (or it could just be that midlife crisis thing) knowing that we don't have that much time left.  Nuts, huh?  The kids are in elementary for heaven's sake.  I know.  Even as I type it (or think it for that matter) it seems crazy.  But it's how I feel.  I look at them and I can barely remember when the older three were 3, 2, and 1.  And, sadly I don't really want to remember much from those days. 

Looking back it seems that I spent much of that time wishing they were older and could do more for themselves because...I was flat-out exhausted.  Now, I spend a lot of time being amazed (and just a little sad) about how much they don't need me anymore. 

The retrospection has been mostly good.  I try to spend more time now enjoying the moments rather than wishing for the future.  I am excited for this summer.  I am excited to have more time with them (and, yes, you can quote me on that later - like tomorrow - when I am ready to ship them all to summer school).  Happy dog days!


Shannon said...

SHUT UP! We don't get out for summer until the 17th. GAH! And it is fall here and getting colder everyday. Double GAH!

I know what you mean about the kids getting big too fast. Dave has the computer and TV set up so that when we play itunes music over the tv speakers the screen saver on the TV is set to random cycle through all our old pictures. It is really cool except for those days when it is pics of the kids when they were all little and we were hanging in the park then I suddenly burst into tears. They are so big now, I was so young then, Dakota went and freaking grew up joined the navy and moved out. SNIF! WAH! Jessica was posting old pics the other day on fb and I didn't even recognize Dakota in one of the pictures. I was like who's that kid? So pathetic.

Take my word for it, don't suddenly dye your hair some weird color as a reaction to mid life. I can't wait for Terry to fix this mess. I'm thinking short, really short. Does that mean I am still having a mid-life crisis? Yeah probably! I will see you soon, ONE MONTH! and we will drink beer and be midlife crazy emotional together. Dave and Ed should start panning to run for the hills!

Monica said...

amen, sista'!!! we thought dakota was MALCOLM and that promptly sent me crying to my room. and, yes, the short hair need means you are def. still midlife crisising. we will do it together. ;o)

Jae said...

Put me down for mid-life crises too, please. I did suddenly dye AND cut my hair, Shannon!

Kids are growing too fast, all the sudden. Weird... hoping to stay sane this summer; however day one started with an overdrawn checking account.

Monica said...

so, THREE for midlife crises. yay for us!!! so sorry about the checking account. :o( i have BEEN there, done that. ;o) NOT fun. hope things are lookin' up. ed just made strawberry ice cream with the kiddos AND came home with a slip-n-slide. so, we are now funnin' :o)